The Sunday Mail
Fatima Bulla
GENDER dynamics remain a huge hindrance for the progression of single women in church with the surge in statistics for single women being viewed as a significant resultant factor. While some local clergy have expressed concern over the surging number of single women in the church, it seems there is more to it than meets the eye.
Last month, a local preacher, Evangelist Beullah Machiri highlighted that the number of single ladies between the ages of 25-40 years are on the increase.
Evangelist Machiri’s ministry organised an event dubbed “A Night with the King”, which aimed at bringing “love” issues to the table, particularly focusing on providing a platform for Christian single men and women to meet.
While she noted the presence of a sizeable number of single men in church, Evangelist Machiri stated that in comparison, there are more single ladies.
Following this revelation, The Sunday Mail Religion had discussions with various individuals on the issue and it was established that issues of women empowerment, economic challenges and patriarchy have left single women struggling to find suitors in the church.
Co-founder of Zoe Life Ministries and Grace Unlimited Ministries, Apostle Florence Kanyati posited that in any church set-up, there are more female members than their male counterparts, hence automatically creating an imbalance.
She said the factors are numerous and vary in individuals.
“Due to affirmative action, women have become powerful and some men get intimidated by that. Women are also becoming choosy when looking for suitors, but it’s different for each person,” she said.
Zimbabwe is party to international and regional instruments that advance women empowerment, which can be credited for making more women pursue career development.
However, the gender equality drive has not managed to displace Africa tradition which expects only men to express their desires.
“Culturally, women are disadvantaged, not to take anything from our culture but a man can be single for as long as he wants but when he decides to marry, he picks the woman he wants to marry and does so. But a woman cannot do that, she has to wait for the man to approach her,” said Apostle Kanyati.
She however encouraged young women to look into the future when choosing life partners.
“The man might a shepherd today but great things might come in future,” she said.
Apostle Kanyati also highlighted the age issue.
“There is an age threshold when a woman will be approached by suitors almost every day, make the most of those days.”
Evangelist Machiri said patriarchy is prevalent in churches.
“This has seen women’s needs being neglected through misinterpretation of the Bible and dominance of men in leadership.
“Both men and women are priests, they are both a royal chosen generation. Why then as Christian ladies should we shy away from being bold and claiming our heart’s desires? Could it be that culture has dominance in our behaviours more than the word of God which is supposed to transform us?
“Due to that, women have no voice in love and marriage issues.”
She also said to an extent, the empowered women are shunned.
“A single woman above 30 years old is viewed as a husband snatcher or some outcast,” she said.
Co-head of the You and I marrieds ministry in New Life Covenant Church, pastor Grace Kapswara said in society, nomatter how many children a man might have, he can still find a woman to marry. In contrast, a single mother is usually frowned upon in society, including in the church.
“Even if a man has six children, he can still marry quiet easily. But most of the times it’s very hard for single mothers to marry. It gets worse when she has four of five children. ln fact, it takes a miracle for her to get married.
“Sometimes, even a single father doesn’t want to marry a single mother, this is one of the mysteries that is difficult to understand,” pastor Kapswara said.
But while much blame has been placed on patriarchy, 26-year-old Tapiwa Gwenzi said the moral bar among young single men has been lowered, making it difficult for Christian women to consider them for marriage.
“Single people are not supposed to fornicate. Women can control themselves but men find it difficult, it becomes the deal breaker,” Gwenzi said.
She added that the prevailing economic challenges have left young single men hesitating to marry due to high expectations from would be in-laws as well as in taking care of the wife.
“Nowadays there are choosy guys, they prefer those girls that they call ‘yellow bones’. Most Christian girls dress decently and do not expose their bodies, most men are looking for that. In addition, some lazy guys prefer empowered women,” she said.
Violet (28), said the moment a single woman decides to serve God, men who do not believe in that shy away.
“Making a decision to be a Christian can be a problem for most guys who are partying,” she said.
Some women are not willing to lower their economic status in marriage.
“ln a discussion with a friend, she once said she would not be submissive unless the man is a breadwinner. But it’s not supposed to be like that. I believe that if you treat a woman right and love her, she has no choice but to be submissive,” Violet said.
Michelle Chimanzi (29), a single Christian woman, said the church had become heavenly focused and risks becoming earthly useless as it is neglecting issues that affect people’s everyday lives.
“With church, the assumption and attention is spiritual growth but not the actual stages of a person’s life in that spirituality.
“ln the Bible, looking at the book of Esther or Ruth, you find that even those people had the idea that at a certain age, a woman needs to be courted or to be paired with a suitor.
“So why not today? Why not allow it to happen? Talk about it to the people ready for it in the context of the same Christian principle because it is there in the Bible.”
However, she added that today’s empowered woman knows what she wants in life and so it takes a genuinely focused God fearing man to handle such a woman of valour.
“Not all men can handle such women, that’s the reason you find so many single women,” she said.
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