The Sunday Mail
Dr J Marwisa
A young couple once told me that when they told their pastor of their intention to move to another church, the pastor would not accept it. When they insisted, the pastor said he would not bless them; instead, a curse would follow them. The couple eventually moved to another church since they felt God was telling them to do that.
Months later, the couple is still living in fear of a curse from the former pastor.
What kind of a father is this?
Yet such stories are very common.
Many pastors are now being considered as “spiritual” fathers by congregants. Others actively demand it.
Every pastor should ask themselves this question: “What kind of father am I?”
Let us focus on the four attributes of a father’s heart as taught by the Bible.
While these attributes are not exhaustive, they give us guidance as we run our ministries.
A true father is humble
When one is a “spiritual father” or a “father in the faith”, they yield great power over their congregants. However, the pastor must not abuse that power by taking advantage of the flock.
Yet some “spiritual fathers” have abused their power and taken advantage of women in their churches.
Stories of financial abuse are also common. If a father in faith is not humble, he will abuse the power given to him by the Lord. On his way to Jerusalem, Paul warns the church, “I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock”(Acts 20:29).
The heart of a servant
A second attribute is that of a serving heart. The position of a ‘father in the faith’ can make us prone to wanting to be served. It is so easy for us as church leaders to want life to revolve around us, expecting everyone in the church to drop whatever they are doing in order to come and serve us. But Jesus teaches us to have the heart of a servant.
“The greatest among you shall be your servant” (Matthew 23:11).
The Lord even demonstrated this by washing his disciples’ feet.
“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14).
The apostle Paul seems to understand this and speaks of fatherhood as follows, “Here for the third time I am ready to come to you. And I will not be a burden, for I seek not what is yours but you. For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls. If I love you more, am I to be loved less?” (2Corinthians 12:14-15).
ln Apostle Paul, there was a desire to serve rather than be served.
Ability to let go
The story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) highlights two more attributes.
This attribute is very difficult for many pastors, especially when it comes to releasing people who are valuable to the ministry.
In the parable of the prodigal son, both the son and his inheritance were of great value to the father and his estate, yet the father released him and his dues.
He allowed the son to go out and get the opportunity to be responsible over his wealth, even though it took the son outside his protection.
The father did not curse his son.
Church leaders should learn from this.
A forgiving heart
In the same parable, we see a heart of forgiveness. When the prodigal son returned, the father forgave the son and restored him.
He did not reject his son for having left in the first place, nor did he curse his son for leaving. In fact, the story suggests that the father had been looking for his son and was quick to dismiss his son’s suggestion to be taken as a servant.
I urge “fathers in the faith” to continuously examine themselves as they lead God’s people.
Apostle Paul’s words challenge me as an individual: “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which He obtained with his own blood” (Act 20:28).
As we do this, may we glorify God.
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