The Sunday Mail
Apostle Langton Kanyati
Matrimonial Hub
THE downfall of the family unit is one of the most tragic things facing humanity.
The destruction of families begins with the decimation of a marriage of a man and a woman. The institution of marriage is not held in the esteem that God meant for it.
The family is God’s first institution, but today man seems to think that it is the worst union. In the beginning, God created man and woman before joining them for life. He said in Genesis 3:24, “Therefore man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” In these words God, instituted the marriage relationship and ordained the family unit. The problem today is that many want marriage, but when the going gets tough, (even barely difficult) – many are quick to opt out.
This is why divorce rates have skyrocketed in recent years. Irreconcilable differences, money, children, infidelity, and “not what they expected” are all justifications men and women use to walk out of marriages. Ultimately, all the reasons amount to a long list of excuses and border on the interests of one person, “me”. Selfishness is a major contribution towards collapse of marriages. Resultantly, the family unit has been reduced to nothing.
I believe that a human being is created with a desire to marry while some may also have a desire to be single. But most of us want to be married. So what does a healthy marriage look like, and why is there so much confusion about this topic of marriage and family?
Well there are three things that you need to understand when you get married.
The first one is commitment. In marriage one is supposed to be committed for the rest of his/her life to one person. It is an investment of a partner’s life and vice-versa. When people get married they must know God is involved in the institution he founded. Commitment is good for a healthy marriage.
A couple should be committed even when things are not working out well.
And so when people get married, it’s not something they choose to do because they feel good about it because true love is not based just on emotional feelings. Such feelings come and go. Commitment is also not an overnight thing, it’s for a lifetime. A healthy marriage is driven by commitment.
Secondly, a couple needs to understand how to communicate. This is largely a complaint from women. Men are not good communicators while women are more blessed on that front. Therefore, men should seriously learn to communicate effectively to improve relationships in marriages. While women speak on an average of three times more words than men.
Effective communication is a cornerstone of a healthy marriage. Poor communication can end a marriage. Couple should communicate in a friendly manner and avoid rudeness. Harshness in the home brew a fertile ground for destruction of a strong relationship.
One can always start communication in a good way by inviting his/her partner to a dialogue if there is any problem.
Well, this is just a brief discussion on the whole thought of communication and commitment. The basic point is that in every relationship, we must always learn to communicate effectively; men with their wives, wives with their husbands.
Thirdly, couples ought to understand and appreciate conflict management. Since the beginning of time, there has always been conflict. All we need is to find ways of resolving conflict amicably. It takes effort to learn and change for the better. And so know this; when in conflict control your anger, avoid arguments and counter-arguments. This will certainly help couples cement their relations and remain married. Enjoy a healthy marriage!
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