Why do women cheat?

The mistake that we make many times is that we still think there must be a reason why women cheat.

Sometimes there is no reason why. Sometimes women cheat because they want to. Satan visits everyone. I know there are those that say “a woman only cheats just because her husband is not treating her right”.

I understand this argument because we are always looking for reasons why certain things happen but we also know that cheating is done many times when there is nothing wrong from a husband side.

Things have slightly changed. There are women that can’t be satisfied by the idea of having one man. They just want to have more. Whether you treat them well or not, they will always look for someone.

Their sex drive is just too much to the extent that they can do anything just to have sex. In today’s world, we have women who cheat just because they just want to have sex, period. We now have women that are looking for men with certain male organ sizes, men with certain looks and those that want to experience what they would probably heard or seen in movies.

The question we need to address is not why do women cheat, for there will always be reasons, but how does this happen? How does a married woman end up having an affair with someone else? Who pulls the trigger?

We have seen married men having affairs with single women, and this seem to have been accepted by most cultures and societies, but when women cheat we seem not to have any answers.

I have been investigating different situations, through observing and asking different married women and men, those who have been caught in the act or those who were not caught.

I was one of those people that believed that “a married woman will never cheat”. I only changed my belief when I started working for a certain company. I saw drama that actually traumatised me for sometime considering the fact that I was coming from a religious background.

So I was in denial but when I saw it happening it really affected me for a certain time until I accepted that this can happen and it is what it is.

For me the question is how, not really why. So how does it happen? First I observed no woman would cheat without thinking about it for a long time. She first thinks about the consequences of her actions but then she considers the benefits that might come from that.

If the benefits are making sense she would then make a move. Women are very calculative. I know we like portraying them as victims or as always being tricked by men into sex. This clutters our judgements as it blocks us from seeing that women also trick men into sex.

Let me report the normal cheating scenario which we all know that is orchestrated by men, like the one I saw at my working environment. Cheating usually happens at working environments during the recruitment stages though other workers will only witness the affair later.

We live in a world with fewer opportunities so people, especially women, will do anything to get an opportunity.  Some bosses would demand sex upfront as a payment for one to get a job. On the other hand, there are women that strategically use their bodies to get whatever job or position they want.

They know they have certain looks or certain body parts that men struggle to resist, so when they are faced with an opportunity they forget that they are married and they use their bodies as a weapon to get what they want. They cheat as a strategy to get what they want.

I witnessed this first-hand at my first job as my boss used to recruit women of the same kind. There were all tall, yellow and slender. I asked myself how come all women here are of the same kind? It turned out the management was only employing “the boss’ type”.

I then saw them being promoted in every position regardless of their incompetency. Before long, other workers that were close to the boss started telling us about how the boss was sleeping with these married women and before long the affairs would be done openly, though these remained a secret to the outside world.

And the boss would then boast to some veteran workers, how he was sleeping with these women.

Initially I blamed my boss for sleeping with these women but as time went on, I stopped blaming him when I saw the same women now sleeping with other workers. I started investigating why?

If they were being exploited by the boss, I understood the reasons but now they were having affairs with people that were not even bosses? I started seeing common trends. My job was commission-based and I realised these married women only had affairs with someone who closed sales.

One of the elderly workers took me aside the other day and said: “one of these days you are going to make a sale be very careful and watch out for so and so”. He warned me to watch out for married women. It was really shocking to me. This means these women were making subtle moves that were obvious to anyone who was paying attention.

This made me to conclude that scandals that usually involve a married woman, the accused man is not the one who would have made the first move. He simply pulls the trigger after getting some signs from the married woman that an affair can happen. Without any invitation, a man cannot “attack” a married woman.

A married woman would start making moves that a man would struggle to resist, especially considering that she has the physical attributes. She makes herself available by increasing communication with her target and she then makes serpent moves until an affair begins.

Men find themselves in tempting situations and because of their weaknesses they simply give in or they simply pull the trigger when the woman had been manoeuvring all along.

It is hard for a man to say to a married woman “I love you” and her saying “I love you too” without her showing certain signs that she is interested too. Most of the times it takes a married woman to engineer the processes. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying men don’t approach married women. I know men can tempt married women, too.

The most common situation that usually happens is when a married woman gets close to a man that is not her husband. Women rarely get closer to anyone they are not physically attracted to. If they hate you they hate you. If they like you they like you.

The dangerous sign is seeing a married woman getting closer to another man who is not her husband. Yet women like playing the victim card, saying “he took advantage of me”. They usually do this as a strategy to justify their actions.

The truth is women are more intelligent than we think. They plot the same way men do and they manoeuvre. Many times we don’t know that they are manoeuvring as we underestimate their mental capacity.

We must understand this: women have feelings too, women make moves too and women are also victims of lust. A woman who is determined to overcome poverty or to just get sexual pleasures can do anything to achieve that.

Many times men are victims of a plan that had been plotted for some time. Married women use sex to get what they want. They know men have sexual weaknesses of their own. This also explains why so many powerful men end up sleeping with certain married women. Most of the times these women are the ones who would have engineered the processes.

Married women don’t sleep with anyone without making a calculation or without considering a benefit in their mind. That rarely happens from all the cases I have been investigated.

Brian Matsaira is a love and relationships coach and can be reached on [email protected]