The Sunday Mail
Kingsley Kaisi Lupane State University
A few months ago, I was part of a group of young people that was involved in donating a variety of items at a local children’s orphanage. Among the things donated included: clothes, stationery, basic food stuffs (the cooking oil, salt, sugar, teabags, etc), old toys, blankets, medical stuff and some money.
As part of spending the day with the children, we cooked for them, ate with them, played a few games and gave them a devotional message, after which we waved goodbye.
This is the typical donation that is given as a way of charity…but there is much more than that.
Now, a very small boy seeing that I was very kind to everyone and smiling came up to me and asked ‘Are you leaving today?’, I gave an immediate ‘yes’ and he went about his way to join the other children.
What struck me was that he asked me this question with the intention of wanting something. It was as if he wanted me and the rest of my friends to stay for a while (maybe for some days, or months…
I’m thinking a year even).
So like any person I followed the young lad and asked him what he needed.
He looked at me intently and said ‘Never mind’…
From that very moment I realized that there was something missing and I decided to do a research on what an orphan needs.
Of course, when people intend to give to charity, they always give all the basic items needed but I have come to the realization that there is much more that is needed by orphans that the eye cannot see.
And so, I did my research.
I got the chance to phone a number of children’s homes and speak to the matrons as well as a few children.
I also got the chance to speak to other organisations that deal with helping orphanages through sending them to school, and helping them in their day to day life.
I reviewed a couple of Old people’s home reports I did back when I was in high school.
As part of the icing on the cake, I interacted with a number of young people as well as adults on the issue and my conclusion was remarkably unbelievable.
You see, whenever we intend to help those less privileged, we usually think about what we should give them, and don’t get me wrong, that is still fine.
The only thing is, you sometimes fail to hear their own side of the story.
Which is what they personally need?
Coming to my answer to this whole topic, what came out as the overall thing that an orphan wants and needs, is none other than LOVE…
I go back to the definition of an orphan.
An orphan is a child whose parents are dead or have abandoned them permanently (General definition-Wikipedia).
After most results I got from the people I talked to, a child who is regarded an orphan normally needs someone to talk to and be able to share their feelings with which is why the young small boy asked me whether me and my friends were staying for some time
. He wanted to have the feeling of being loved and appreciated much more than a day. At times, we as the outsiders tend to come into these orphanages and do quick jobs then leave. Well, that is not supposed to be the case.
Just like yourself, I know this might sound a bit cheesy but if you were feeling sad and crying would you expect someone to bring you a box of tissues so you can wipe your tears or you would want them to console you and at least be there for you when you need them?
Same goes with orphans in general, they may appreciate your gifts and goodies but what they want (according to my little research) is just that one on one session were they can pour out their feelings and we just listen and listen till they are satisfied.
That is how we can build the love.
It is through hearing them, getting to stay with them for a while (more than a day or two) and truly understanding their day to day problems that we may greatly realize what it is they need.
But above all, I believe that LOVE is a vital component that keeps us as humans going, as such, the next time you think of visiting an orphanage/old people’s home or any other place, remember to sit down and let the people speak and your role, to listen and smile.
Kingsley Kaisi is a Youth Advisor, Community Volunteer and an Aspiring Development Practitioner,
Currently he is a 2nd year student studying Development Studies at Lupane State University.
For feedback E-mail him on: [email protected]
