The Sunday Mail
BELIEFS around Valentine’s Day have landed various people in unenviable situations – from embarrassment, desperation, to downright despair.
The most recent and topical situation is the Lorraine Guyo debacle of a social media post that was meant to be a skit but became a serious issue that almost led to suicide.
The “Valentine joke girl”, Lorraine, recently went viral on social media, with her video clip about finding a partner in time for Valentine’s Day. What followed was huge interest in the joke and in her persona that she ended up being a victim of cyber bullying.
But what other troubles can Valentine’s Day create for people in this part of the world?
Popular talk show host and columnist, Dr Rebecca Chisamba, shared her sentiments on the “misunderstood” day of love.
“It’s quite unsettling the way people fall into debt and unnecessary heartbreaks because of this Valentine’s Day. I understand that the world is turning into a global village and people end up doing things just because others are doing it, but honestly everyday should be Valentine’s Day,” Dr Chisamba.
The Mai Chisamba Show host said pressures that emanate from days like Valentine’s Day are responsible for the rise in cases where younger women seek blessers while younger men find themselves with cougars. A blesser is a slang term for a rich man who offers support, typically financial and material to a younger female companion in exchange for sex or friendship.
In the same fashion, a cougar is an older female who seeks favours, usually of a sexual nature from younger men in exchange for financial and material support. Said Dr Chisamba: “People end up falling into disastrous relationships sometimes because they aren’t content with what they have. A person might be dating someone who is still in school, their boyfriend let’s say, and many a times that boyfriend is not able to buy or provide the nicer things in life which usually forces the girl to want to look for ‘greener’ pastures.
“These girls will end up having blessers but also put themselves at risk of contracting STIs and having unwanted pregnancies. These gifts don’t really mean anything in the end because they are coming from a meaningless relationship, its actually better getting a dowhe (snot apple) from someone who means something to you. These days it is difficult just getting porridge for the children at home what more trying to please someone with goodies.”
She said people should treat Valentine’s Day as any normal day of the week to avoid unnecessary problems.
“My advice is people should not put themselves under pressure, treat Valentine’s Day as a normal day. Love does not end because one didn’t receive a gift on the day. If one cannot afford it or if they don’t have a lover there is really no need to go out of their way to have someone or to be given something by someone,” she said.
R & B sensation, Trevor Dongo, who sings about love than anything else, also shared his views about the tradition of Valentine’s Day, pointing out that the day should not be a threat to someone who does not have anything to give if their partner’s love is real.
“Love isn’t measured by material things. Some people actually value their relationships and just because they did not receive anything doesn’t force them to hop on to the next bus. It’s quite saddening that some girls of today will end up looking for men that sponsor their expensive tastes so that they can show off on social media yet risking their health.
“I believe Valentine’s Day is a reminder of how special your love for the next person is and is a moment for couples to rekindle their love life building long lasting memories,” he said.
Phathisani Sibanda, popular Star FM radio personality said that he does not celebrate Valentine’s Day.
“Personally I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because I will be mourning. My grandfather died in 1987 on the 14th of February so for that reason I cannot celebrate Valentine’s Day. Nevertheless I believe the day is just overrated for no reason because people don’t seem to understand it. Girls mostly put themselves under pressure for no reason and some even end up building materialistic relationships just for show off,” he said.
With all the controversies surrounding the day, it will not be surprising to see a few buying themselves Valentine’s gifts to showcase on social media.