The Sunday Mail
Rosenthal Mutakati
NOTHING annoys me more than a petty visitor who calls in demanding attention while I am engrossed in an overdue work assignment that requires the presence of mind.
At times when such people visit, you curtly ask others to deal with them in whatever polite way to ensure they go away unoffended.
But not all such characters can easily be gotten rid of.
Some offer to wait!
Others will try every trick in the book to get to you, oblivious of the unwarranted pressure they will be exerting on you because of their mere presence.
It can be worse if you have had a bereavement in the family.
They will come in droves to pass their condolences and seize the opportunity to wring cash from you, to use for bus fare and lunch.
Called “poopers”, “disturbers”, “bugs”, “parasites”, “weeds”, “vanetsi”, “vamhari” or “journeymen” such people cut across sexes and age groups.
Gentle reader, some people cannot stay at their homes.
They feel incomplete without paying someone a visit, especially at the workplace.
Even when they do not have any business to do in town, they still catch a lift into the central business district (CBD) just for the sake of it.
This class of men and women with itchy feet will make it a point to pay everyone they know a visit even when they have nothing important to discuss. Offering them a lift into town or home is the worst crime you can ever commit.
They will always turn up at the appropriate time to enjoy a free ride. Kutyei!
“Mwana wababa ndangoti ndipfuure ndichikuona nekuti makore awanda tisina kumbokurukura. It troubles me day-and-night to pass by without greeting you,” the blokes will unashamedly say while making themselves comfortable in your office chair.
“You have grown in stature just like your late father. In you, I can see that the apple did not fall far from the tree. The way you talk and mannerisms are similar to those of your late father,” the characters will tell you.
They will load you with unsolicited information especially pertaining to people you have nothing to do with.
“Ndiyo yakazotambika muraini saka ndangoti zvauri wechidhaka rega ndikubatise nyaya yacho ichiri hot,” the disturbers will say after plucking you out of an important meeting.
Usually it is the hard-core gossipers that are not content with staying home.
They try to make themselves welcome, even when not, by painting various images with their acerbic tongues.
But in due course, they can end up running away from you after realising that they have borrowed too much.
“Ndafara ndichikuonai babamudiki. Nowadays I am doing a small horticulture project in Murehwa, so I do not know what happened to my son who drove home alone thinking I had brought the other car into town. I am sorry for this, but can you lend me US$10. I will square you tomorrow,” they will tell you.
These people who feign to have a personal liking for people they grew up with can develop an armchair relationship with someone to a point where they will be mistaken for core workers at a workplace.
Fellow workers will even lend them small amounts of cash and even chickens.
It can be worse if your workmate falls in love with these hangers-on. They will volunteer all they know about you to workmates. In some instances, they will even blame you for their break-up should their relationships turn sour.
Did you know the Level Four lockdown which had a lot of travel restrictions was a blessing in disguise? It served the twin purpose of preventing the spread of coronavirus and keeping these notorious characters at bay.
Now that the restrictions have been lifted and people can move freely without the need for letters, the guys are out in full force.
They will be hopping from one office to the other meeting long-forgotten acquaintances and sharing with them lockdown rumours.
Theirs is really a dog’s life, but someone has got to live it.
Inotambika mughetto.
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