Saving marriages with chinamwali

02 Aug, 2015 - 00:08 0 Views
Saving marriages with chinamwali Multiple relationships do not only destroy a marriage but spread diseases like HIv and Aids

The Sunday Mail

Fatima Bulla – Religious Affairs Editor

WITH couples seeking to terminate their marriages at the High Court in Harare and Bulawayo hitting the 1102 mark between January and June 2015, one wonders what is going on in a nation in which 80 percent of the population professes Christianity as its religion.

While there are many reasons behind such statistics, a major one has been the increased forsaking of cultural and traditional approaches to moulding lasting marriages.

In Africa, the practice of advising young people as they develop into adults seems to have been affected by urbanisation, and some churches have taken up that “initiating” role.

Others have gone further to suggest co-option of traditional practices to moulding strong marriages – practices like chinamwali.

Practiced by many Chewa, Tumbuka, Sena, Ngoni, Venda, and Tonga among others, chinamwali initiates boys and girls into adulthood.

According to Mr Amadu Shaibu a Christian convert who went through the initiation while he was still a Muslim, boys and girls – with parental approval – as young as seven-years-old spend a month undergoing initiation.

The leader of the ceremony, ngaliba, states what he expects at his chinamwali.

On the first morning, in song and dressed in the traditional gear, the ngaliba leads the contingent to the woods to a place reserved for the ceremony (dimba).

“The first child to use these entrances is named achando meaning that he is the point of contact for anything the elders may want. This includes handling herbs or beads that are used by the elders for the entire duration,” Mr Shaibu said.

While there is a lot of emphasise on how things are done including circumcision, Mr Shaibu said the male ceremonies focus mainly on instilling good behaviour and bedroom issues.

“Songs sung accompanied with actions during this period are meant to engrave good morals even after they have left chinamwali. Issues like maintaining good hygiene, respecting girls, their mothers and women’s belongings are emphasised. For instance a boy who has come from initiation can no longer enter his parents’ bedroom because he has grown up,” Mr Shaibu said.

After initiation, elders monitor graduates to ensure they uphold the teachings. Failure to abide can attract caning.

As a Christian, Mr Shaibu advises girls against going to chinamwali as they may want to experiment with sex thereafter.

“It’s true that those who have gone to chinamwali are good in bed. But it seems most of the girls become a target for men and some might end up having extramarital affairs because they have the power to choose men.

“Also because chinamwali is led by people who use muti I wouldn’t recommend one to put their child under the guidance of such a person. To me I don’t see the good thing about it,” added Mr Shaibu.

Pastor Gibson Botomani of the Church of Central Africa Presbetarian, which originated in Malawi, said chinamwali guided young people on how to conduct themselves.

“The point of departure when we are talking of religion and chinamwali is with reference to what we call today the breakdown of the social fabric.

“What is the aim of the objective of chinamwali? It’s an initiation ceremony where either a woman or man is made ready for adulthood, marriage and maturity inclusive. So that is where people are cultured, that is where people are taught what they are supposed to do in life.

“But today it has just come with condemnation why because there is the mutilation of genitals. But vis-a-vis circumcision what would you say vis-a-vis what is done by the Shangaan people? Because now we have seen the clinical aspect where the medical people go in the Shangaan people and they assist in the circumcision.

“What about the role of tradition in upbringing people? If we are going to circumcise people and leave them who is going to teach them the moral values (like circumcising for HIV prevention). So we need that chinamwali that people are taught. Even in the church we have chilangizo in our language,” said Pr Botomani.

With insinuations that some people who conduct these ceremonies are involved in witchcraft, Pr Botomani said it was always inevitable to have such people even in churches.

“We need to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of everything. We have a record of over 1 400 divorces. Take a person who has been to chinamwali she cannot easily get out of marriage, she respects that union.

“So people don’t easily give away their identity when they have actually gone through the initiation. Today we don’t have people who even own their culture. But check before: people owned their identity, people owned their culture.

“So we are saying you need to undergo that so that you become relevant to the society. What is wrong there is the connotation culture and tradition. That is what people see as wrong there. But there is good in culture there is good in tradition. I have attended the church counselling but given a chance I would recommend my child to go to chinamwali,” said Pr Botomani, who is of Yao origin.

Mrs Mary Malemero, who grew up in Reformed Church in Zambia, said she has seen a difference in how the culture of chinamwali is handled locally.

“Back in Zambia whenever a girl reached the stage of puberty and her menstrual cycle commenced she would stay in the house for a month. During this period she would just go to school and come straight home. On the last day of the month elders were called to advise the girl on issues to do with growing up.

“Also, when a lady is ready to be married elders were called to show her how she has to handle a man in bed. They also inspected to see if your body has been made ready and is intact. Foodstuffs like chicken and beef would be brought for her to demonstrate if she can really cook. Together with relatives and elders the girls would be advised accordingly,” Mrs Malemero said.

“In Zambia, among the people of Pentauke, they would build a place where a girl is taken to be inspected if she can perform in the matrimonial bedroom. In the presence of elders and relatives one is stark naked and wears beads while demonstrating how they will perform for their husband in the bedroom. If you are lazy they would beat you,” added Mrs Malemero, a pastor’s wife.

“But here I see that even those from the Malawi origin are not really open to children. Some parents with the passage of time do not accept it. Because of jealousy you also see that some leaders in churches do not teach children as it is for fear that they could excel in their homes better than their own children.

“Most in this generation, even female church pastors, don’t accept these cultures.

They have an I don’t care attitude. I don’t know of other tribes here but I think the divorces at times show that trainers are not doing their job. Some girls get pregnant and rush into homes without knowing anything.

“And even today you see a young man having an extramarital affair with an older woman. That is also destroying marriages,” Mrs Malemero said.

The United Methodist Church’s Reverend Sabina Chikeya said they had their own culture where two

groups of youths divided into the 12 -17, and 18-35, were advised accordingly.

“Those in the younger age group receive advice focused mainly on career guidance.

“We invite experts and professionals some who are from within the church to train them. They have their mother and father advisors.

“For the 18-35 age group you find those who are in relationships whom we encourage not to engage in sex before marriage.

“Most of our church members come from areas like Mutoko, Murehwa, Mutare so those from Malawi and the like who have that culture of chinamwali are few. We were not taught those things they do. We encourage parents when children have come of age to advise their children and ensure that their bodies are ready. If you are shy as a parent to talk to your child it’s better to invite pastors because nowadays outsiders are also cunning and using things like juju. The same applies with boys. When we choose mother advisors we do elections and interviews. Then we discuss issues they intend to teach our children. I have been in this ministry for over 20 years and have wedded many. Some come back thanking us.”

Rev Chikeya said her church also counselled married couples.

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