The Sunday Mail
Life Issues with FGK
The narrations in this instalment are true stories.
A Zimbabwean veterinary worker who caught his wife in bed with his friend has been arrested after burning him to death with a red hot iron, a news report said.
According to The Chronicle, Thomson Tshuma (43) found his wife, Nomthandazo Ncube, in bed with his friend Chrispen Musa after arriving home unexpectedly.
Tshuma, who stayed at Mhlotshana veterinary quarters in Plumtree, was not asked to plead and was remanded in custody.
Prosecutor Zorodzai Pengapenga said the incident happened on October 11 after the accused came home earlier than expected from Matobo district, where he had gone for business.
Pengapenga said when Tshuma got home, he found his friend naked behind the door and stabbed him multiple times. Tshuma then used a “red hot de-horning iron” to torture the injured friend. Musa died two days later from severe burn wounds at the United Bulawayo hospital.
In 2015, a 37-year-old man was arrested for stabbing a prophet he suspected of having an affair with his wife. He also attempted to kill her for cheating on him. Obert Manenji stabbed himself on the chest but fled away when he saw a man advancing to rescue his wife. The suspect then proceeded to the prophet’s house, where he reportedly poured acid on the man of the cloth before stabbing him multiple times with a knife. The prophet died at the Parirenyatwa hospital on admission.
This is another incident which took place in Portugal (womenintheworld.com): “A Portuguese man who conspired with his ex-wife’s former lover to kidnap her and then beat her with a nail-spiked club has escaped jail time after a judge ruled that the woman’s ‘sexual immorality’ justified his actions. About three years ago, according to reports, the married woman began an affair with another man. After about two months, she decided to break up with him. The rejected lover then went to her husband and revealed that his wife had been unfaithful to him.
“After the couple divorced, the woman’s ex-husband and the former lover conspired to enact vengeance on her. Their plot saw her being kidnapped by her former lover, and getting a savage beating at the hands of her ex-husband. The ex-husband was given a 15-month suspended sentence and a $2 000 fine for the assault, but the prosecutor decided to go to an appeals court in Porto, arguing that the man deserved prison time for his premeditated revenge plot.
“In a shocking decision that cited the Bible and an over 100-year-old criminal law that allowed token punishments for men who killed their wives for adultery, Judges Neto de Moura and Maria Luísa Abrantes upheld the original ruling.
“Adultery by a woman is a very serious attack on a man’s honour and dignity,” the judges wrote in their ruling.
“In the Bible, we can read that the adulterous woman should be punished with death … society has always strongly condemned adultery by a woman and, therefore, sees the violence by a betrayed, vexed and humiliated man with some understanding.”
The judges added that the woman’s “disloyalty and sexual immorality” had pushed the husband into “deep depression” that led to the brutal act of violence.
Amnesty International of Portugal has condemned the ruling as a “manifest violation” of separation of church and state. UMAR, the Women’s Union for Alternative and Response, was planning to protest the ruling in Lisbon, noting that the decision would encourage jilted men to believe that they could commit violence with “total impunity.”
According to the BBC, Judge Neto de Moura has made similar rulings in prior cases – including one case last year in which he overturned a prison conviction in an assault case because the victim had committed adultery.
“A woman who commits adultery is a false, hypocritical, dishonest, disloyal, futile and immoral person,” the judge ruled at the time. “In short, they lack moral credibility.”
The wrath of men towards a woman who is caught on the wrong side of the marriage vow is like liquid fire. Divorce is like the new trend these days. People are no longer afraid of the consequences of divorce. Children are suffering because of this ruthless act by their parents. Effects of divorce, including the negative psychological impact, are often underestimated.
Women blame men for being intolerant and always employing the worst punitive measures to the woman found wanting. Are husbands unforgiving or is it both sides? Should an unfaithful wife be treated the same as an unfaithful husband? Should the responses to infidelity be equal between a man and a woman?
The fact is women tend to forgive more when it is the husband who is found wanting but the husbands are quick to torment their wives when they feel betrayed.
Why do men respond the “caveman way” when it comes to conflict resolution within the marriage institution?
A greater percentage of marriages are breaking because of issues like infidelity, miscommunication, money, lack of intimacy, misunderstanding of each other’s sexual needs and the related fluctuations, emotional abuse, unreal expectations, and so many other unhealthy circumstances.
In all of this, women have proven to endure if it is the husband who has a weakness but when tables turn, men always cry foul.
It is believed that men tend to be more unforgiving than women. Why is that so? Why would there be a deviation in application of the rules within a marriage setting when the wife is the one on the wrong side? Women are also susceptible to the same vain lusts and passions that tempt men.
When it comes to infidelity within a marriage, should the punishment magnitude depend on who has committed the act or it should be consistent regardless of who the victim is? It is common nowadays to get men who are divorcing their wives only because they suspect them of cheating, at times without a trace of evidence.
Murders are being committed by men who think their wives have betrayed them. It has been argued that most women are victims of domestic violence because of the grapevine. When one hears heresy about their spouse cheating, they do not take time to investigate the matter. lnstead, they act right away in the foolishness of anger. What if the enemies of your marriage want you to destroy it by throwing your spouse under the bus?
When you are angry, it’s not wise to open your mouth. When you are not sure, do not nail an accusation. This is not a justification for married women’s wrongdoing but men and women should treat each other equally in a marriage set-up.
Does infidelity by a woman mean something more than just the betrayal? Why do men lose their minds and lives over being cheated by their woman?
Let’s discuss this.
Quote of the week: Ever thought how far the vow “for better, for worse” goes?
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