NEW: Importance of a good relationship between parents and children

Brian Matsaira

In the past, children were raised by both their parents and the community.

I remember when we were growing up any older person would give us a hiding for misbehaving, and after hearing our misdeeds, our parents would add to that hiding.

Things have, however, changed.

We now see parents confronting those who would have tried to discipline their children for misbehaving.

So, the community no longer dares to interfere in how people raise their children.

This has spawned a new kind of individualism where people no longer lose sleep because of someone else’s problems.

From time to time, we would have elders sitting us down and giving us lectures about ‘ubuntu’ and how we ought to behave ourselves.

I remember my big brother used to be rude and often did not heed my father’s counsel.

So, my father engaged our close neighbours and friends, and they all came to assist.

They sat him down, and after that talk, he changed his ways.

Today, children are being raised by social media, television and the streets.

No one seems to care what happens to another’s child.

And sometimes it is the parents’ fault, because instead of seeking help from the elders or other family members, the mischievous deeds are kept a secret.

When we were growing up, we knew that if you do something wrong, everyone is going to find out about it.

We did not want to feel the shame that comes with that.

Today, many children are not afraid of misbehaving since no one will ever know about it except the parents, who might not even do anything about it.

This is nurturing the bad behaviour we are seeing regularly in children.

Children today lack discipline.

If they do something wrong, no one rebukes them.

Sometimes parents are too busy to even notice what is happening simply because they do not have the time to notice behavioural changes in their children.

If a parent has a relationship with their child, it is easy to see these changes.

In the old days, parents wouldn’t allow us to bring home anything they themselves wouldn’t have bought.

Nowadays, they do not even bother.

There must be constant communication between parents and their children.

A child must be disciplined.

Nowadays, it is not uncommon to see children shouting at their parents.

During our days, this was unimaginable.

Talking to children and correcting them when they are wrong must be a duty that any parent should never tire or retire from.

*Brian Matsaira is a love and relationships coach. He can be contacted on 0773383687 or email: [email protected]