The Sunday Mail
EVERYONE is devoted to something.
Apostle Langton Kanyati
Devotion can be defined as ardent, often selfless affection and dedication to a person or principle. The sad thing is that many people are devoted in ways they do not realise.
Another word that is close to devotion is “commitment”, defined as the act of binding yourself to a course of action.
Most people are devoted to things that are mostly self-serving, the things in life that are not lasting and give them most of their time and energy. As for the great majority of people, this means taking the path of least resistance, giving in to the pleasures of immediate gratification.
Marriage needs devotion and without it, it will not work. Many people fall short in their devotion to something by being too quick to compromise. They begin to doubt the course they are on, thinking it will not work for some reason. This leads to changing what has been proven to work and replacing it with some other course of action that makes more sense at that time. Therefore, we must continue to focus and maintain our dedication, for this is the only road to great achievements.
Developing a devoted heart in your marriage is not easy and there will be many times of doubt. But it is worthy of your time and energy.
Many partners lack follow-through when it is needed the most. Single-minded devotion is a rare thing these days. You can say you are committed to something or someone all you want, but in the end your behaviour betrays you if you do not maintain your focus.
Telling your spouse all your good intentions and not following through produces more frustration than if you had not said anything at all. Weak devotion is simply a half-hearted effort. Anything worth having requires a price of admission.
If you do not know what the price is to have a devoted heart in your marriage, take time to consider what would have to change in you to be this way.
Much of the world tends to be impressed with passionate devotion regardless of its objects. Some people make money and worldly success is the object of their passion. Others focus on some definition of “marital happiness” that can be easily affected by changing circumstances.
Some marriage partners focus heavily on their own personal enjoyment in life, making that their biggest priority. A few focus on what will make their marriages a success and enjoyable. Learning what works in a marriage then abandoning it due to “exceptions” in your relationship is a quick way of defeating yourself.
These exceptions are usually rooted in being concerned with how someone has wronged us. In reality, this just amounts to making excuses for being less than fully devoted to your partner.
Most often, this happens when you are not getting along and cannot seem to resolve an issue. Once you fully commit yourself to be devoted to your marriage and your marriage partner, you must not deviate but rather stick to it and you will have a great marriage.
Many couples play hide and seek, forgetting that marriage is for the committed. That is why it is important that those who get into marriage are not forced into it as this is serious business. A couple is not just expected to be under one roof, rather they are expected to be one flesh.
Committing yourself to what is true and right by God’s standards will not bring disappointments. So have a clearly defined set of standards for your marriage. You can say you are devoted to having a good marriage, but what exactly are you devoted to? Is it based on what you get out of it, or are you 100 percent devoted to your partner’s well-being?
Be devoted to openness and truthfulness. Couples tend not to be honest with each other for a lot of reasons. Sometimes it is to avoid conflict, hurting the other person’s feelings, thinking the other person will not listen or admitting something you have done wrong.
Whatever the reason, being less than honest goes against the grain of being devoted to what is true. Holding on to the truth has consequences. Make it a habit to be truthful at all times and be willing to deal with any fallout from doing so. If being truthful causes problems, there is something wrong.
Always keep motives in check. The Bible says, “The heart is more deceitful than all else,” – Jeremiah 17 v 9. Be careful not to get too comfortable and think everything is just fine. Without consistent honesty with yourself, your own selfish agendas will creep in ever so subtly.
Beyond identifying those situations that are distracting, it is critical to make a habit of taking a close look at your motives and intentions. Do not give in just to get your spouse off your back.
Give in because you know it is the right thing to do at all time. When conflicts arise, your first response should be to make sure that your attitude, your heart is really one of devotion.
There is so much about life, about being married, that is bigger than we are. We never really become experts at marriage. What we know is so much less than what we do not know. So holding on to the things we can rely on merits our wholehearted devotion. Thirsting for what is right and learning to be passionate about what is true are things we can count on. Injecting this kind of wholehearted devotion into your marriage provides a compass for the relationship that never steers you wrong.
Based on what consumes your time, attention, and energy, what in life are you most devoted to? If you have not already, set some goals for devoting yourself to what is right and true in your marriage. Identify those parts of being a good marriage partner that deserve more of your undivided attention and effort.
It takes a willingness to change what you have been doing and begin doing things a new way. All change is painful and we humans love to avoid it. Being passionate about what is right and true is not an easy course, but as tough as it can be, the reward is worth it. Enjoy a relationship that loves again.
Apostle Langton C Kanyati is the founder and president of Zoe Life Changing Ministries and Grace Unlimited Ministries. Email feedback at [email protected] or WhatsApp: 0772 987 844
