The Sunday Mail
Many a times, we do not see the value of what we have until we lose it. Do not take whatever God has given you for granted. Some people fail to understand that for them to be where they are today, it is because of the people that the Lord has placed in their lives.
Apostle Langton Kanyati
As such, husbands must value their wives as a gift from God and love them in the same spirit that Christ loves us. In response to the husband’s esteem and love for his wife, she should respect him. This is the gateway to a blissful marriage.
The enemy’s onslaughts upon the marriage institution seem to be on a great rise. Couples also seem not to care about this because many think they have alternatives. As long as you see alternatives, you will not value what you have.
To win over the enemy’s attacks against marriages and families in this hour, we must commit to the peace, harmony, love, acceptance, forgiveness, open communication and respect among family members. There are several keys that will enable you to stand against the onslaughts of the devil and to move into a position of victory in every realm of life as a family or couple.
First, you must always pray for one another. Prayer releases the power of God. It will stop anger, strife, envy and even self ambition. It is hard to criticise and fight with someone you are praying for at the same time.
When you determine to pray, somehow your own attitude changes, even if you start out praying sincerely that God would change the other person, because you know they need it the most. As you pray allow the Holy Spirit to minister to you too and deal with all your personal faults that may be contributing to the worsening of the situation.
Remember, what holds your marriage together is not only your mutual love but also the presence of God. Praying for your spouse or family members will cause you to love them even the more. It will bring your heart back at home. We are bound together through prayer.
Second, strive to accept one another. The world is filled with rejection and judgements. It is filled with critical words and pull downs. It is important to be accepted by your partner just the way you are and the same way they should accept you the way you are. Human beings are not like items made from the same mould.
People are different and comparison will destroy the esteem of your partner and create inferiority. When we value each person for who they are, we will enjoy the differences. Expecting your husband to be like your father, or your wife to be like your mother, brings unrealistic expectations and pressure. One famous minister said, “Marriage isn’t a reformatory!” Spouses need to reach out to each other without criticism or reservation.
To live with a mate who does not accept you is a dark valley to walk through. If you want to be accepted, whether it is in your family or outside of your family, then you need to accept others without trying to make them change. This is unconditional love which accepts your spouse in spite of everything else. It loves you regardless of the circumstances. That is the way God loved us.
Third, endeavour to speak good things about each other. Words have such awesome power to build up or tear down, to edify or to destroy. Verbally attacking your mate will slowly erode the foundation of a solid marriage or a solid relationship. If you continually look down upon your family members, particularly your husband or wife, they will get to the point where they will look at you and say, “It’s not worth living with them anymore.”
Why? Because they would have depreciated all of the value out of that person and out of that relationship. But if you will positively affirm your love and find good things to say, your love for one another will be strengthened.
The fourth key is to reconcile your differences. The prayers of people who argue and fight and do not settle their differences will not prevail. Strife in the home will hinder your prayers. You destroy with your actions what you are supposed to overcome with your confession.
Many confess healing and restoration, but because their actions are full of strife and bitterness, their actions destroy their confessions. It is like people confessing prosperity, but not being givers. It will not work. You must plant the seed, do the action and then your confession over your action will cause it to come to pass. So it is in your marriage. Do not allow strife and anger to hinder your prayers.
One of the things that is absolutely vital to reconcile differences is the ability to say, “I am sorry, I was wrong.” Yet you hear others say, “If I was wrong, I am sorry.”
To have a healing effect, the attitude of the heart must be that of humility. It is only pride which causes strife. Pride is what caused Satan to be rebellious in heaven. He wanted his way because he was selfish.
Many couples say, “Sex is a problem in our marriage.” Others say, “Communication is a problem.” Still others blame marriage problems on finances. Instead, pride and selfishness, people wanting their own way, is the root cause of the problems in all these and other areas.
Finally, invest yourself. Today individuals are familiar with investments. This could be in savings, in stocks or in land. People invest in something they know about. People also invest in something they deem to be a place that will bring a return. Honestly, what area has the potential to give you more pleasure than your family or marriage? What area gives human beings the potential for more pain than family? This is the one area that people can be hurt the most, because they have not made the proper investments.
When people grow old and retire or are on the sick- bed they often say, “I wish I had spent more time with my spouse or family.” You do not hear them say, “I wish I had spent more time in the office or with my friends partying.”
Ensure that you do not get to the end of your life, look back and regret the lack of time with your family and loved ones. It is not too late to change. Begin now to invest more into your family. Invest your time, your energy and your creativity. You are to give quality time to your marriage and family, spend your energy on them and bring God’s creativity into all your activities. Enjoy a blessed marriage and a happy family.
Apostle Langton C Kanyati is the founder and president of Zoe Life Changing Ministries and Grace Unlimited Ministries.Email feedback at [email protected]; WhatsApp : 0772 987 844
