The Sunday Mail
MARRIAGE is good, it is precious by God’s design.
You must know and understand that there is profit for you in marriage. This understanding will enable you to make the most of it.
Apostle Langton Kanyati
Matrimonial Hub
Love is one major requirement in making marriage work. Love is not optional, it is mandatory.
This love does not originate from the world, but in God; for as God’s Word declares, “God is love.” (1 John 4 v 8)
Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5 v 25, commanded husbands to love their wives. It is not an admonition or suggestion, but an instruction that must be obeyed. God makes it mandatory for husbands to love their wives, sacrificially and unconditionally.
Until you love your wife as Christ loves His Church, you are not walking in agreement with the word of God. Christ’s love for His Church is not only when it obeys Him, but even when it offends Him as well. Until you comply with this commandment, you may never taste fulfilment in the family. You must ask God to rekindle the love for your wife in your heart. Particularly according to God’s word, the love for one’s wife must come after the love of God.
Love between husband and wife and their family members can be expressed through words and actions.
Love is essentially a matter of the heart that eventually finds expression through the mouth and by actions. Husbands must learn, beginning from the thoughts of their hearts, to love their wives. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
When your heart is full of loving thoughts, it readily finds expression in the words you speak. If a man for instance, uses abusive words when speaking to his wife, he is speaking out of the abundance of his heart. Until he sees the content of his thoughts, he cannot speak otherwise.
Men initiate things and women respond to them. Husband, initiate the love relationship between you and your wife and she will respond to you. When you love your wife, you easily win her submission.
“I love you.’’ Through these three short words, men and women come together to establish God’s counsel on the earth.
Often, however, these words are forgotten after the euphoria of the wedding ceremony is over. Words are powerful, and saying, “I love you” over and over again spices up the marriage. Just like it is necessary for rain to keep falling for farmers to reap bountiful harvests, it is also necessary to say “I love you” over and over again.
The presumptuous claim that it is not necessary to say it over and over again because, “She knows I love her,” is wrong. What you believe in your heart must be said with your mouth. No one can read minds, until thoughts are voiced, they remain private.
Faith, the Bible tells us, comes by hearing. If faith, the all-important mountain mover, becomes ours by the simple act of hearing, imagine how many mountains will be moved out of our homes when we say “I love you” to our spouse often.
Give voice to your feelings, it is not foolishness! The world was made by faith-filled words. Let your “I love you” be full of faith. Even if your spouse is a monster, he or she will be changed to a marvel!
That’s how God won man to Himself. While we were sinners, Christ died for us, thus saying “I love you” to people who rejected His love.
Husband and wife must learn to speak kind words to each other. Words create the right atmosphere in your home. Express to your mate the nice qualities you like in him or her. Husband, handle your wife with care by speaking kind words of appreciation to her often.
Wife, don’t nag your husband to death by repeatedly pointing out his shortcomings or problems in your home. Where there’s a need for correction, use the sandwich method compliment, correct and then compliment. Men and women who are not complimented do not feel appreciated. They feel taken for granted and ordinary. When someone outside showers them with compliments, they are easily taken captive.
Appreciating little things will create greater things. Nothing should escape our praise; it motivates the beneficiary to go a step further. When a wife hears “I love you” from her husband, her countenance changes. She cannot hear too much of it.
Someone rightly said, “Actions speak louder than words.’’
There is a place for words, but there is also a place for actions. Lending a helping hand and being available will make a lot of difference in relationships. They are ways of saying “I care”.
Sometimes, a touch speaks just as much as words. It communicates that, “I am with you.” It keeps the fire burning all the time.
Some families never touch each other. They are cold and the atmosphere in the house is usually tense. Touching produces warmth. When a husband for instance, puts his arms around his wife, it brings warmth that neither money nor words can produce.
Husband and wife must learn to be romantic. Couples are to be “ravished’’ by each other’s love (Proverbs 5 v 19).
“Ravished’’ means to be transported by delight. It will work wonders for your family.
God so loved the world, He gave His son! If you claim to love, it must find expression in giving. A thoughtful little gift at the right time can work wonders! You must make it a point to remember special days such as birthdays and anniversaries and share the joy of the moment by exchanging gifts. These were the things you did while courting, you should not let them slip by just because you are now married.
Remember Elkanah and Hannah? Elkanah was sensitive to the needs of his wife. He had mastered the art of ministering to Hannah’s emotional needs, (I Samuel 1 v 8).
Husband, there may be times when your wife is down physically. Remember that love is medicine. At such times, all you need do is to show a little more love and she’ll be okay. Some kind words, a physical touch, some kisses or a little gift from you will make her feel much better.
These little things have the ability to lift your marriage.
Enjoy your marriage.
Apostle Kanyati is the founder and president of Zoe Life Changing Ministries and Grace Unlimited Ministries. Email feedback to [email protected] whatsapp: 0772 987 844
