The Sunday Mail
(Adam Kok had been sent to Cairo by his newspaper to report on the Warriors versus Egypt game and also to bring back some human interest stories. In the process, being the ladies’ man he is, he meets an Egyptian beauty.
Unwittingly, he gets himself trapped into marriage. He manages to get away in the middle of the wedding ceremony, pursued to the airport by outraged members of the woman’s family but once again miraculously survives and returns to Harare – albeit shaken by his experience.)
THE tales of the escapades of male scoundrels, like Don Juan, Casanova and Adam Kok, devote little attention to their victims.
While the lovely lady is their prize, her beauty, her every sigh, her every wish, are described in loving detail. For the conqueror’s quest and his final triumph to be heroic and the stuff of legend, the lady must be elevated into a heroine.
But once he wins the prize, he dumps her and moves on. Heroine no longer, she ceases to exist.
Adam Kok met, seduced and abandoned his Cleopatra, his Desert Queen, on her wedding day and gapped it back to Zimbabwe. For him, the story was over. But what about her? When Adam told me about his adventure in the Land of the Pharaohs, I was dismayed. Although, Adam’s stories never ceased to surprise and often entertain me, there were few that disturbed me like this one. My heart went out to Nourhan.
I knew that one day I would pass through Egypt again and I asked for Nourhan’s cellphone number. I had given Adam such a rough time over his deeds in Egypt that he was in no position to refuse me.
By a rough time, I mean that, after Adam had finished recounting his story, which I had punctuated with frequent outbursts, such as “How could you, Adam?”, “You did this?” and “I’m ashamed of you”, I read him the riot act.
“Adam, you and I have been comrades for a long time. We were in the struggle together, running the gauntlet of Unita bullets in Angola. Here in Zimbabwe Rudo, your wife, sees me as a sahwira . . . ”
“Come on, comrade, cut it out and come to the point. Rudo doesn’t see you as a sahwira. She sees you as her frustrated lover. Do you think she’s blind? And yes, we are lifelong comrades and friends. So? If you have something to say, say it.”
“I do have something to say, my friend, and it is this. You have had many adventures with women and told me many stories about them. I have been shocked and told you many times that I believe your philosophy and your treatment of women is a wrong. I have also told you you are a disgrace to your wife.
“I have urged you to re-think your life, re-think your behaviour and re-think the way you treat women. But this is the straw that broke the camel’s back.”
“Are you talking about camels now because I’ve just come back from Egypt?” “Adam, cut your jokes or your amoral, immoral philosophical tricks. I’m telling you now as a comrade, respect your wife. Respect women! Stop trying to take every woman you meet to bed without any regard for the consequences.
“Indodayinja” – a man’s a dog, Adam, but even dogs have some respect – and they listen when someone tells them enough’s enough.” “You know, Jack, if it was any other man talking to me like this, I would knock this disgusting humbug down his throat, followed by a few teeth into the bargain. For you, comrade, I listen. But I will not let you lecture me unless you can make a very good case.”
“Take what you did to Nourhan. You go to Egypt and with no knowledge or respect for the culture you see a beautiful woman, whom you seduce without bothering for a second about what will happen to her if you succeed.”
“Listen to me, comrade, that won’t cut ice. Nourhan was not a child. She was a grown woman. If a grown woman consents to go to bed with me, aren’t you being a bit patronising to blame me? Women can think for themselves. They don’t need soppy socialists like you to protect them.”
“Yes, if she goes into it with her eyes open because you have been open and honest with her but if she has trusted you and you have lied to her, as you did to Nourhan, then it is not acceptable. In fact, it is despicable. That young woman and her family trusted you, accepted you not just as a lover – she was a virgin, man! – but also as a husband. She explained to you how important personal and family honour was to her and her people. All you thought about was the danger that put you in. You never thought of what her life was going to be like after you publicly trashed her.”
There was a moment of silence. Adam sighed and then, with a dismissive wave of his hand, said: “Whatever, comrade, whatever. What’s done is done.” Adam would never agree he was wrong but I could see my words had got through to him. Both Rudo and I noticed a complete transformation in Adam’s behaviour. He came home early, was all over Rudo.
I know too that apart from Nesta, who was virtually his second wife, just as he was virtually her second husband, he embarked on no more sexual adventures. Rudo was perplexed. What was wrong with him? Apart from the manyoka he said nothing. I, who was in the know, began to wonder whether the impossible had happened. Was the notorious Don Juan of Harare a changed man? Had he decided to go straight? I must say I even began to miss his stories.
But what about Nourhan? I had occasion to transit overnight in Cairo and I phoned her from the airport. She agreed to come to my hotel and we met in the lounge for a coffee. I was not able to assess how accurate Adam’s description of his Cleopatra’s beauty was because she now wore the niqab, meaning she was fully covered. We chatted for a while about one thing and another until I raised the topic of Adam.
“Adam Kok, Nourhan, is my comrade and best friend. I have known him for a long time. But I wanted to tell you I am shocked at the way my friend treated you . . .”
“No, don’t, Mr Kavanagh,” she interrupted. “Don’t. I am not holding anything against Adam.”
I was staggered. She went on.
“I am not blaming him for what happened. I am seeing many American films. I know how in your culture men are looking at woman. She is just a thing – a . . . commodity? ‘Getting off with her’ – is that what you say? – and getting into bed with her is all you think about.
“This is Adam’s mentality. I was charmed by him and I have gone into it with my open eyes. I loved his company. I knew what he wanted from me. But I am a devout Muslim. Mr Kavanagh, I would never be sleeping with him but for my family.
“My father decide Adam was the good catch for me. They were worried – ashamed – to see me I am not yet get married. My family plan the whole thing. They make me trick him into urfi marriage vows I record on cellphone.
“I deceive Adam. I know he was not meaning his words – that he wanted to be husband for me. He is probably having wife and childs on island of Zimbawi from where you come. At wedding I know he was just thinking all time to find way to escape. I ashamed for what my family make me do.
“Adam was my first man, Mr Kavanagh. You may be surprise? I give thanks to God it was Adam, not other. I shall say no more. I am happy for my life now. I am finding other man who is not minding my shame. I am also studying at university. My experience with Adam open my eyes. Woman must not wait for man or bow to family wishes. It is her life and she only should be deciding what’s good for her.”
/Nourhan was a splendid woman. Did Adam ever really find out?
Obsessed the whole time with enjoying her body, he never got to know the real Nourhan. She said American men see women as things, commodities – to buy, to sell and to use for their pleasure?
Are we African men any better? I wondered. Certainly my friend Adam wasn’t.
As for Adam, for a month-and-a-half he was a changed man – until, that is, he walked into a supermarket in South Africa and saw Glorious.
To access previous Kok Tales, go to https://rmshengukavanagh.wordpress.com/
