The Sunday Mail
Mai Mujuru is politically half-naked and so this is the right time to shove down the truth. First, there is nothing new about what she is trying to do.
This is a poor widow trying to finish the project that dear hubby Solomon started way back in 2006 during Zanu-PFai??i??s National Peopleai??i??s Conference in Goromonzi.
Secondly, Morgan, Tendai, Arthur, Welshman, Lovemore, Elton, Joice, Ian, Barack, David can join hands, but as long as President Mugabe is still the Zanu-PF leader there is no contest.
With Gushungo in charge, my departed Sekuru Matope, quite a naughty old man, would say ai???sunga one, sunga dozenai??? meaning ai???come in whatever numbers, I will still defeat you.ai???
Third, its either Mai Mujuru is just too naive, too forgetful, foolish or both because the timing of her project is just wrong.
So, so wrong. 2018 is still far away and with Zanu-PF you donai??i??t do that. You just donai??i??t give Zanu-PF time to breathe, especially knowing that they didnai??i??t give you time to go clear the drawers.
Look in the rear view mirror Joice! Look hard and tell me your heart is not pounding.
Mai Mujuru goes to the Salvation Army and Bishop Lazarus knows that she is familiar with 1 Corinthians 15 vs 33 which says; ai???Do not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good morals.ai???
What company has Joice been spending time with in recent times?
Rugare Gumbo, Dydmus Mutasa, Sebastian Bakare, Ibbo Mandaza, Ray Kaukonde, Kudakwashe Bhasikiti and a few other hangers on whom we can describe using two words ai??i?? failed opportunists.
Maybe Napoleon Bonaparte, that French military and political leader was right when he said, ai???In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.ai???
There is so much stupidity that has been going on with Joice monopolising it all.
Last Monday, Joice launched something like an economic blueprint, something like an election manifesto and the lunatic fringe went into overdrive thinking ai???here cometh Joice, here cometh the saviour,ai??? who was to shake Zimbabwe and its politics to the core.
ai???Mujuru unveils party manifesto,ai??? ai???Defiant Mujuru hunts Mugabe,ai??? the opposition mouthpieces screamed. As expected, their sales went up but only for a day.
The next day, the mouthpieces tried to put some wood into the fire. ai???Mujuru rattles Zanu-PF,ai??? ai???Mujuru rattles scared Mugabe,ai??? they screamed.
And how did they know that Zanu-PF and President Mugabe had been ai???rattled?ai???
They were told by none other than Ibbo Mandaza and their usual pseudo political analysts. Thatai??i??s their new type of journalism.
But then as they screamed the Mujuru headlines, they were making Morgan angry and uncomfortable. Had they dumped him or what?
The next day, they came up with a way to please both Morgan and Joice. ai???Tsvangirai, Mujuru talk,ai??? ai???Mujuru, Tsvangirai plot coalition,ai??? they screamed. And so Morgan and Joice were both happy.
Soon they will live happily ever after, if only the spoiler Biti will leave them alone.
The dust settled too fast.
How come Zimbabweans were not really excited about Joiceai??i??s coming? How come the excitement was only found on the pages of the private media?
How come Zanu-PF yakango cheuka, ndokukwenya mhuno, kwakuramba ichienderera mberi nerwendo rwayo?
Some months ago, Bishop Lazarus asked: ai???What really scares Zanu-PF?ai??? Today I ask: ai???Why canai??i??t Zanu-PF be scared? Why? Canai??i??t they see the supposed storm gathering?
Well, Bishop Lazarus has an idea whats going on here.
With the Americans pulling the strings and the British oiling the agenda, Zanu-PF has no reason to worry. Been there, seen that, done that and defeated that!
Just the way, the imperialists are handling the coming of Joice shows that they never learn. Itai??i??s not only the timing of the project which is bad.
Everything is pointing to a disaster of monumental proportions.
Hesitantly, chameleon-style they are introducing a worried and scared Joice. Bishop Lazarus has always preached that Joice keeps telling them that she wonai??i??t challenge President Mugabe in any election.
Up to this day, Joice keeps telling them, but typical Americans with their overdose of arrogance they think, she doesnai??i??t know what she is doing.
Look, Joice maybe naive and all, but she has worked with President Mugabe for long and she knows its a sheer waste of time contesting an election against the African legend.
Edgar Tekere thought he was stubborn enough.
Dumiso Dabengwa overestimated himself.
Simba Makoni thought ava tsuro magenai??i??a, but today all these former Zanu-PF members have been cut to their correct sizes.
Way back in 1996, Solomon planted this toxic seed into wifeyai??i??s mind and now she is intoxicated.
The first casualty of Solomonai??i??s political mischief was poor Simba Makoni who was told to cross the river and as he got to the other side of the river, he discovered that no one was following.
As we all know, Simbaai??i??s Mavambo akava magumo!
And we thought people like Joice had learnt a thing or two.
In memory of the department husband, the project has to be finished at whatever cost.
Really Joice? At whatever cost? Really? Even if you are starting from a point of defeat?
Just the fact that before the birth of Joiceai??i??s political animal, there is talk of a coalition, is enough to show that disaster awaits. If the Americans and the British were so confident with Joice, they wouldnai??i??t be talking of joining hands with Morgan and the other pretenders. Joice alone is not enough, just like Morgan.
Now thatai??i??s the stuff that really excites President Mugabe and Zanu-PF. After all the politics was getting boring after the political burial of Morgan in 2013.
The imperialists have got their gal Joice, and they are making a toast, ai???With Joice, Yes We Can!ai??? The cheers vibrate to our shores and the gullible think we have a contest on our hands.
Some in Zanu-PF, are vexed and they are whispering in the dark; ai???I think we should have handled this Joice thing properly.ai??? Well, cowards are a sign of a functioning society.
These cowards must have read that famous statement by American lawyer, Clarence Darrow who said; ai???When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president. Iai??i??m beginning to believe it.ai???
Joice for president? Letai??i??s be a bit serious ladies and gentlemen.
In the meantime, let Joice be. Donai??i??t be scared Joice. Come out and letai??i??s dance!
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