The Sunday Mail
MR Arnold Bakasa was sitting blithely in his office preparing his presentation for a forthcoming executive meeting when one of his janitors, Jasper, knocked on the door with a scantily dressed young woman whose eyelashes appeared longer than the skirt she was wearing in tow.
Though he was busy, Mr Bakasa temporarily left whatever he was doing and ushered the pair in.
After exchanging greetings, Jasper immediately introduced the yokel of a woman who was reeking booze as his eldest daughter who had been sent by village elders to collect money for the chief’s personal protective gear in the wake of the current coronavirus (Covid-19) pandemic which has killed thousands of people across the globe.
“Boss I am in desperate need of cash to buy the chief’s surgical masks and other protective gear and they have dispatched my daughter to come all the way from Honde Valley to collect the money. If I fail to satisfy this demand, my family will be banished from the village,” mumbled Jasper, with his purported daughter nodding in agreement.
Though the boss knew he was being sold bottled smoke, he granted Jasper a $400 loan before he and his said daughter vanished.
Barely an hour after this incident, the company’s sales representative Kudzanai phoned Mr Bakasa to tell him that he was running late because he had a flat tyre.
To add weight to his claim, Kudzanai sent the boss a photograph of himself standing next to the punctured tyre.
Unbeknown to him, he had sent the same picture to the boss on two previous occasions wearing the same clothes.
Such are the challenges bosses have to contend with on an average day.
Popularly referred to as “chief”, “boss”, “manager”, “foromani”, “shefu”, “mukuru”, “mambo” or “changamire” being a manager is no stroll in the park.
You go through hell every day of your life. Being lied to becomes a way of life.
Managers are taken for fools by the people they lead.
Most people behave as if bosses do not think. They take their bosses for doormats on whose toes they can step on willy-nilly.
Most workers who fail to budget properly their salaries usually cover up for their deficits through lying to the boss.
Some say they need money to meet the medical expenses for their sick children, wives, husbands, parents’ etcetera.
Others go to the extent of presenting photo shopped copies of quotations for medical bills just to wring cash from the manager.
While it is not fair to always suspect that you are being lied to, bosses end up verifying with various service providers to establish whether or not that which the workers will be saying is true wherein they start being labelled as too rigid, too strict or old-fashioned.
Bosses are the most hated people in the homes of people they work with.
They are used as scapegoats most of the time.
“I do not think I will stay in this job for a long time. My boss is always on my back. Imagine, I had finished preparing the accounts schedules on time, but my boss demanded that I redo the work. This is taking a toll on me,” you hear some men telling their wives even when they will be on their way from a girlfriend’s house.
Even where a married woman starts behaving untoward, her boss is the usual suspect.
“My wife used to cooperate very well, but the moment she got a new boss my marriage has never been the same. I will pay him a visit and see what it is that I should do for him to leave my wife alone,” you hear cuckolded men plotting in the bar.
It can be worse if the boss is a free soul who sometimes plays soccer with the workers.
Some among them will conveniently miss the ball and give the boss a heavy and precise kick on the backside.
Even when bread prices go up, workers will rush to say: “What is the boss doing about it? Vari kumbonyatsotiiko nazvo vanhu ivava?”
Whenever some bosses get calls from certain workers, they immediately know the conversation will not end without a request for money or off-days.
Those who dabble in muti or believe in the apostolic faith will always make sure they have a charm or muteuro to slide into the boss’ office so that he starts seeing them in better light. Being a manager is as if you have committed a crime.
At family level, you are expected to contribute more at funerals and weddings.
Even when bread prices go up, workers will rush to say: “What is the boss doing about it? Vari kumbonyatsotiiko nazvo vanhu ivava?”
Whenever some bosses get calls from certain workers, they immediately know the conversation will not end without a request for money or off-days.
Those who dabble in muti or believe in the apostolic faith will always make sure they have a charm or muteuro to slide into the boss’ office so that he starts seeing them in better light.
Being a manager is as if you have committed a crime.
At family level, you are expected to contribute more at funerals and weddings.
“Uchiti anoaisepiko mazakwatira emari aainawo iwawo,” your hear relatives saying.
Similarly, nine times out of 10, those who borrow money from you do no always see it reasonable to pay back.
On the love front, if you are a boss and happen to be chasing after a girl, she is forced by her family or friends to love you even against her will because people want to harvest cash from you.
But this is not to say bosses are not without flows.
The country has a fair share of bosses who micro-manage people to the extent of trying to dictate their lifestyles and what they should have in their stew pot.
These are the kind of characters who when they get into the office everyone appears busy to avoid being dressed down.
Some bosses can haunt you to the point of dreaming about them. Pakaipa!
Being a boss looks sweet, but it is in actual fact a bumpy road filled with bitterness and resentment.
Inotambika mughetto.
