The Sunday Mail
Phoebe Nyashanu
I’ve always wondered about the true nature of a war — (perhaps like the current state of the Gaza strip) — the panic, the fear, the agitation, fear of the unknown. Never knowing what to expect, who to trust, who to believe. A fight for survival — survival of the toughest.
Ironically, we’ve been at war from the minute feminism rolled its fiery carpet into households, governments and social media.
First, let me clarify the meaning of feminism — it is the movement fighting for the social, political and economic equality of the sexes; that is to say men and women are equal before the law.
But my question and issue lies here: Is this where modern feminism is actually taking us? (Emphasis on MODERN). I believe the answer to that is a firm NO. If we take a look at the latest female “craze”— it is independence relative to the absence and DOWNFALL of the male structure.
Simply put, a woman will pride herself in being independent (as if she was not supposed to be) and go on to stomp down on men as a group to show that she can live without them and they are basically useless creatures used to decorate the streets of our existence.
I recently heard a woman say: “A generation of women who disregard men completely is something I can rally behind, I don’t care.” And this was met with very enthusiastic women in agreement.
I’m not sure what shook me more — the statement or the animated agreement. While the drive to be so focused on yourself is worthy of applause, it has fallen way out of the grips of feminism.
This is going 600 steps forward in the wrong direction. How is disregarding one gender to uplift the other going to solve the problem? That’s just biting off your nose to spite your face.
We were borne of a generation that told us of the need to be independent and self-loving before we could give ourselves to other people but we have taken it way too far; starting to absorb the toxic premise that men are unnecessary, that they are accessories and that your worth is increasingly tied to your ability to survive without a man.
This is very different from individual freedom — it is a kind of bitterness that leaves one group defacing the other to make themselves feel better.
We have to stop and realise that men are not the enemy here, in their barest forms, they are victims of a toxic societal culture.
While a lot of them seem to be the human form of pure evil, more of them are simply blinded. They have managed to be in positions of power and these are the very reigns they should use to uplift the oppressed gender.
However, it is imperative for us to remember the role of the woman in history. From the moment of birth, she was a possession and not an individual person.
Someone’s daughter and/or someone’s wife. Another man always in charge of her body and what she could or could not do with it.
Relishing in our independence, therefore, starts to serve as something very admirable because we have broken those boundaries and chains that held us back from taking our full status as independent humans.
This starts to explain why some women nowadays choose not to adopt the last names of their husbands after marriage — the need to keep something of herself for herself and not immerse herself so completely into the auspices of being a wife.
This issue has furthermore brought a kind of division between women and feminists as a whole. Women everywhere are being bashed by other women claiming to be feminists for choosing to marry, have kids and do things the orthodox way. Why? Because “we are feminists and we should not sleep with the enemy”. Well, that’s ludicrous.
The idea behind feminism is equality and equity.
That means I’m fighting for my right to choose whether or not I want to marry, have children or take your last name. Not whether or not I should — just the freedom of making the choice.
To be continued. This is part of a series of articles on the subject by Phoebe Nyashanu, a Zimbabwean student based in China.
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