I stole from my husband

I stole from my husband

Dear amai, how are you? I am a 30-year-old woman and mother of two boys. My husband and I get along well and we even budget together.

I have written to you because I did the unthinkable. I went through my husband’s stuff looking for a charger because I had misplaced mine.

I found a large envelope that was labelled ‘hospital receipts’. I opened it and there was a lot of money in United States dollars. I took about half of it and left the rest. I do not know if he noticed. His mood has not changed but the money is no longer where I left it.

The envelope was moved. It is eating me up inside. Must I confess? What is going through his mind?

Response

I am very well, and thanks for writing in. I am glad that you and your husband get along great. I do not know what forced you to do what you did — whether it was a moment of weakness or not. You need to come clean.

You broke his trust; if you did not understand what this mysterious amount was for, you should have asked. It may have been for repaying a debt or paying your bills. If he did not notice that you took some money, he can shift the blame onto an innocent party or much worse, only to realise it when it is too late.

Come clean and tell him that you got caught up in the moment and it will never happen again.

When and if he chooses to forgive you, will be up to him. In future, learn to ask if you do not understand something. It will save you so much drama.

***

I do not want to retake my exams

Hello amai. I am an 18-year-old girl and I failed my Ordinary Level exams. My parents are forcing me to retake my exams, but I do not see the point.

Everywhere I look for jobs they specify that they do not want someone with more than one sitting.

Am I not better off acquiring a practical skill?

I am into home crafts and I love taking care of the house. I know it is not a career prospect but I would not mind being a homemaker. What must I do going forward?

Response

Hello writer. Thanks for writing in. The truth of the matter is that even a practical course requires some level of education. Ordinary Level is as entry-level as it gets. Retake your exams.

Apply so much effort that the second result slip will force employers to give you a chance.

Now is the time to do it as you do not have any pressing commitments. Your parents mean well, so try and meet them halfway. There is nothing wrong with being a homemaker.

However, having an education base will help you understand the world better.

Keep trying, I am sure you will get it right. As for practical courses, what excites you and what do you think can earn you a living? There is more than one road to success. Do your best and I am sure you will see the tide turn.

***

I am confused

I am a 22-year-old woman and I have a two-month-old child with my husband. He is a gardener and to be honest we struggle to make ends meet. There is so much poverty around us.

He says he does not love me and dai ndisina kutizira, he would have left me alone and pursued the woman he loved. It is hurtful and it pains me greatly.

His parents reside in the rural areas and ask me often to go and stay with them and help them herd cattle.

I do not want that life. My mother says I should come back home and my father is of the view I should listen to my husband.

He says no marriage is easy. I feel so confused. Please help.

Response

Your letter is very sad because you are caught in the middle of many bad options. Your father supports the verbal abuse you are subjected to by your husband and would rather have you go herd cattle. What a bad father!

I think if everything fails, you must go back home and stay with your mother. She sounds like a sensible woman.

I am sorry your life turned out like this, but, often, when women elope and are not in a stable relationship, that is what happens.

It is usually a hurried affair.

If you do leave, have him help you raise your child. What skills or ideas do you have that can help you raise money for the upkeep of your child?

You need to employ them now more than ever. If you do not want to stay with your in-laws, then do something productive on your own. I wish you well.

 

◆ Write to: mai [email protected], Whatsapp 0771 415 747