The Sunday Mail
Ken Clark Define The Line
We live in a world where the idea of family has come under attack and left a lot of us with a much distorted view of what a family is.
Because of this, we can carry these distorted views into our relationship with God and with each other.
For example, when we think of God as a Father, we think of Him as a big boss who never dirties himself with us but who expects us to live up to a standard that is impossible. When we fail, we see Him as standing there ready to dispense discipline and to punish us gleefully.
When we have a distorted picture of God, this influences the way we relate to others. In Zimbabwe, therefore, pastors often try and become “spiritual fathers” to people in their church or other pastors they are working with.
They see this as a means of controlling the people under them and make themselves seem more important. In such cases, spiritual sons and daughters are expected to seek approval from their fathers before making any decisions, to pay their fathers a portion of whatever they earn and never to dream about connecting with someone else for danger of betraying their fathers.
This is not the Biblical view of fathers or of the relation between a father and a son. In fact, the first time the word “father” is mentioned in the Bible, it tells us sons are to leave their fathers to cleave to a wife and be a separate unit (Genesis 2:24). So we can see that God’s intention is for His sons to leave their fathers and become independent while maintaining their respect and honour.
When Paul wrote of his relationship with the church in Thessalonica he described it thus, “You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers. For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.” (1 Thessalonians 2:10-12 ESV)
Paul had been in Thessalonica for about three weeks before he was forced to leave. Then the Thessalonians were left to fend for themselves, so Paul sent Timothy back to encourage them. In the letter, we never see him trying to make demands on them for money or loyalty.
In fact, he was more concerned that he kept his conduct pure whilst he was there. He showed how fathers were to exhort and encourage people in order to help them walk in a manner worthy of God and not worthy of Paul. He saw that these people belonged to God and were a part of His kingdom. They did not belong to Paul in any way whatsoever.
Being a father means equipping people and releasing them to go further than we have.
Looking at fathers in the family unit, they have children at home and they try to help them to become independent. They do not want their children to seek them for every decision they make. They teach them to cope in society and educate them so that they excel in life. When they succeed, they rejoice with them.
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