The Sunday Mail
Once a relationship EX-pires, people should move on. It should be a closed chapter, simple.
I know many are likely to disagree with this notion, as much as others will concur, but I feel it does more harm than good when EX-es stay in touch.
Why am I taking this stance? Well there is a story, based on real life experiences, attached to that.
Recently a “close friend” shared a sad story of a young university girl who got HIV from an EX she gave another chance.
The two broke up for six months, after the guy cheated, but he “turned over a new leaf” and after finally seeing the light, decided to re-unite with the said girl.
Will not bore you with the finer details suffice to say the young student has since realised she is HIV-positive.
The two, that is her newly-acquired status and the rekindling of her relationship, don’t necessarily have to be connected but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to note that she could, possibly, have avoided acquiring HIV had she had the will power to move on.
This heart-breaking tale has provoked questions about EX-es, most of which is the basis of this column, and chief being, “should EX-es communicate”?
Should they chat, call or meet up?
I am of the opinion that EX-es have no business meeting, chatting or calling each other.
Relationships end due to plenty of reasons, either on good or bad terms, but fact remains, the ship will have sunk.
Why should you communicate with a lover who is not yours anymore, never mind the toil it will likely take on your new relationship, should you be in one, or the how it reduces the chances of moving on.
You might still be in love with them or vice versa but perhaps the motive of the communication should be clear.
Some believe that reluctance to communicate with an EX is a clear sign of struggling to move on, but I need to know how chatting, calling or texting with them proves one has moved on?
They say there is nothing wrong with “just checking up on them” to see how they are, but then again it ceases being your duty, responsibility or business, the minute the relationship ends.
If someone is out of love with you, the next most logical step is to make peace and move on.
It sounds theoretical and easy, but the most important person in your life is you and it’s important to decide what’s best for you.
When you find a new partner, EX-es are a no-go area. How would your partner feel or how would you feel when you discover your partner communicates with their EX?
I remain steadfast that EX-es should not communicate. Well, you can greet when you bump into them in the street.
Here are some exciting quotes on this subject:
“An “EX” is called an “ex” because it’s an EXample of what you shouldn’t have again in the future.”
“As soon as your EX sees you smiling, that’s the minute they want you back.”
“Dear EX … I won’t block you, or delete you. I’m keeping you there, so you’re able to see how happy I am without you.”
“Dear EX … when you see me, I want you to recognise what you had, regret what you’ve lost, and realise what you’re never getting back.”
“Ever looked at your EX and wondered ‘Was I drunk the entire relationship?’”
“EX means: Thanks for the Experience … our time has Expired … Now EXit my life.”
Do you have different thoughts on this matter? Do you think EX-es should, otherwise, chat? Please feel free to share your thoughts on [email protected]
