The Sunday Mail
Rev Simba Woloza
Matrimonial Hub
ON April 6, 2016, Zimbabwe’s High Court in delivering a culpable homicide judgment on a wife opened a can of worms on a highly contested issue of privacy in the marriage institution.
Justice Chitapi, in interpreting the country’s supreme law and supporting legislation, ruled it is illegal for spouses to snoop into each other’s cellphones without permission.
He made the landmark ruling as he sentenced Fortunate Nsoro (36) of Chitungwiza for stabbing her husband to death for refusing to show her a “suspicious” text message he had received on his cellphone.
The judge said snooping into someone’s phone contravenes Section 57(d) of the Constitution, which guarantees everyone the right not to have the privacy of their communications infringed.
As expected, the ruling sparked debate, with various commentators — including religious leaders — having divided opinions on the import of this judgment on the delicate area of marriage.
For me, the big question is whether or not married people have any privacy between them, more so to the point of accusing each other of invasion of personal space.
From my understanding, invasion of privacy is the intrusion into the personal life of another without just cause, which can give the person whose privacy has been invaded a right to bring a lawsuit for damages against the intruding person or entity.
It encompasses workplace monitoring, Internet privacy, data collection and other means of disseminating private information.
The case in question and the judgment thereof calls for society to introspect on pertinent marriage values.
Marriage is built on several pillars and one of them is the Law of Openness. It is this law that sets up the couple for achieving various forms of marital intimacy. Without this openness, marriage becomes a fertile ground for mistrust, accusations and even violence.
The Bible is very clear on this issue. Genesis 2:24-25 tells us that “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame”.
Adam and Eve were naked before each other until sin came into their lives. Secrecy with phones is an indicator that something is wrong and points to a dysfunctional couple.
Couples should open up to each other historically, spiritually, financially, physically and technologically as well. Technological advancement has resulted in one‘s life now tucked away in technology in emails, social media and other online platforms.
Denying your spouse access into your technological domains where you spend much of your time is clearly not allowing your spouse access into you. Sexual intimacy is the highest level of openness in marriage and I don’t think it’s practical for one to open up sexually and at the same time refuse to open up technologically.
Marriage is built on the principle of becoming one flesh. You become one not in some areas but in all areas of your life .You begin to live what is called a shared life. Getting married means giving up on individualism .Your language changes from my car to our car, my house to our house, my phone to our phone. You become an open book to your spouse.
Having access to your spouse’s phone is different from accessing your spouse phone for investigative purposes. If there is transparency in the relationship, I wonder what will be there to investigate. Imagine someone investigating themselves!
The case in question ended tragically due a lack of proper conflict resolution skills and clear referral pathways. I believe we need to spread the message of healthy conflict resolution processes out to every couple in our nation if incidences of this nature are to be avoided.
Banning couples from sniffing into each other’s phones is certainly not a solution and will further spur mistrust.
Social networks together with gadgets are tools that can improve marriages provided certain principles are followed. It is okay to have pass codes on your gadgets but it’s another thing if you are doing so to bar your spouse from seeing the dirt in your technological domain.
A couple in a healthy relationship will disclose their passwords to each other.
I personally think that the recent High Court judgment will be celebrated by those who have skeletons in their cupboards and are not pursuing a deeper shared life with their spouse. Now they can cheat and no one will ever find them out.
For those who have no skeletons to hide, life goes on and they remain open books to their spouses!
Reverend Woloza is a marriage coach with the Strong Bonds Marriage Initiative. He has recently been appointed country co-ordinator for Marriage Week Zimbabwe
