The Sunday Mail
Changing Perspectives
Rutendo Gwatidzo
WHAT is Bullying?
Bullying is the misuse of power or perceived power by an individual or group of people in various relationships through repeated verbal, physical, social, psychological or emotional harm over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening.
Bullying can happen physically or online via various digital platforms and it has immediate, medium or long-term effects on those involved, including bystanders.
Bullying affects both kids and adults.
The majority of us deal with bullying at one point or another in life because it is found everywhere.
Bullying is found in schools, workplace, marketplace, road, church, and even in families. I once heard of a road bullying story where a man refused to give way to an ambulance. Upon getting home, he discovered that the same ambulance was rushing to his close neighbour.
Sadly, it arrived when it was already too late. Imagine the guilt the man had to now live with.
Dealing with bullies!
Taking power from a bully is not easy sometimes especially when you deal with the bully daily. However, there are always wise ways that can be implemented in order to deal with it.
Unfortunately, failure to stand up against the bully will forever make you a prisoner in that regard.
Let us look at the story of Goliath from the bible, found in the book of 1 Samuel 17. The children of Israel were put in a corner for 40 days.
They felt helpless and could not move from where they had gathered until the mighty man David arrived.
The beauty of dealing with bullies is that it doesn’t require giants, it only requires wisdom. When David arrived, he used his skills to deal with Goliath and in no time the “giant” was down. A bully is only as powerful as you allow.
Effects of Bullying!
The effects of bullying are almost similar to depression effects.
Some victims experience mood swings, get withdrawn, and become unreasonable or aggressive. Some refuse to talk about what is going on, some experience changes in sleep patterns and may experience frequent tears or anger. Other individuals may also experience hunger and they find themselves ever eating.
On the other hand, some may carry physical signs like bruises that they fail to explain or that they are not willing to tell where they came from.
Bullying is mainly experienced in gathering settings. For instance, in schools, in the workplace, and on the roads when traffic is bad.
Speak out!
Most bullies do not like to be exposed because they are not even as strong as they imply. If you are a victim, open up to someone who is able to listen and understand your situation without judging and without getting emotional more than the victim.
It is important to share all details pertaining to how it all started, why, when, and what exactly happens so that a plan on how to tackle the issue can be drawn.
Oftentimes, according to research, bullies are cowards who in most cases will be experiencing failure in one area of their life.
They then look for weaker people to target so they feel better in covering up for their failure.
Since the beginning of this year, most of the schools that I engaged with through my book Born to Fight have raised the issue of bullying.
As I did research and as I keep doing it, I am finding that bullies are people with so many issues around them.
A significant number of bully students that I engaged with, are also victims of intimidation.
They were victims of bullying from other angles of their lives hence they just pass it on.
Society’s role!
I believe that the sooner we rise up as societies and stop accepting any type of bullying or harassment from other people in spite of people’s social standing or net worth, the sooner bullying will stop.
Victims of bullying need to empower themselves in different ways that do not allow other people to define them and belittle them. The research further revealed that the meanest people are usually the weakest and do not believe in goodness.
Others do not even believe in their own dreams and that they can be achieved the right way. Sadly, bullies are endangered species because many people are against them.
It is better to be a little, but good somebody rather than an evil somebody whom society hates.
Victims should just reach an ‘I have had enough point’ where they tackle insecurities that bullies use against them.
Life is a fight, but not everyone is willing to accept fighting.
Fighting is not a matter of violence only, there are so many wise ways of fighting battles. Success is not about stamping on other people so that you can be felt. Most bullies do what they do so that they feel successful. For instance, most bullies in schools struggle academically hence causing pain to others makes them feel significant.
Failing to make it in one area of life does not mean failure in all aspects of life, you can make it in other areas and still become successful.
There is no need to make noise through bullying to be regarded as successful. Real success is silent, only results and impact make the noise.
Be challenged to stop bullying if you are practicing it, your life is endangered more than that of those whom you threaten.
Bullying others does not solve the difficulties you have, it can only increase your problems. Be encouraged to acquire success and relevance the right way that positively impacts those around you and even generations to come. Be inspired to start making a difference now.
One author once said, “what if the kid you bullied at school turns out to be the only surgeon who could save your life?” Think about it.
Rutendo Gwatidzo is an Entrepreneur into corporate wear and interior designs. She is also an Author of the book Born to Fight, Speaker, Mentor and HR Consultant. Her strategic strengths come from the ability to see things differently to make a difference.
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