The Sunday Mail
Dogs can be deceptively vicious or gentle.
This is why it is often not uncommon for dogs that bark the most to be less known for their bite, while conversely, those that are seemingly benign, which rarely bark, are usually infamous for their hellish bite.
There was once this ferocious dog that used to scare even the most brave-hearted of souls in Bishop Lazi’s neighbourhood out of their wits.
Whenever strangers passed by, this dog would put up a show, as it would violently ram its torso against the fence in apparent raw fury and let rip a series of blood-curdling husky barks, which often left the hapless victim on the other side of the fence paralysed with fear.
Not until this fateful day when its rushing owner carelessly left the gate ajar, tempting the mutt to venture outside its familiar territory.
The first lad unlucky enough to cross paths with the supposed hell-hound in the morning initially thought his end had come, only to be surprised when it beat a hasty retreat into the safe environs of its owner’s premises, whence it launched its all too familiar intimidating ritual.
However, to the happy realisation of the bemused would-have-been victim, the gate remained ajar.
Then came the second lad. Third lad. Fourth lad. Fifth lad. Sixth lad.
By the end of the day, folks had discovered that the dog was all bark but no bite, marking the end of its mythical degree.
And then there was Spider, a seemingly unassuming dog that was known all too well in Bishop Lazi’s village.
It rarely barked, and loved taking afternoon siestas in thickets near the village.
It usually stealthily tracked strangers, after which it would viciously launch itself in attacks that were announced to the village through the ensuing kerfuffle from the tormented.
Wary villagers began using footpaths that steered clear of the village.
The tale of these two dogs melds together two age-old idioms from two distinct races: While the white man says “barking dogs seldom bite”, the black man claims that “imbwa nyoro ndidzo tsengi dzamatoo” (seemingly benign dogs are the most vicious).
Strawmen
The Bishop’s mind drifted into exploring these peculiarities of the canine world when he heard yet another round of sabre-rattling from that group of politicians from the MDC, who gathered a handful of supporters in Mbare last week for a curiously coined Hope of the Nation Address (Hona).
Argh! Whoever coins the MDC’s nomenclatures — Hona, Reload, Agenda 2020 — should be arrested for being funny when he or she is supposed to be serious.
We are told the gathering was supposed to communicate a message of hope from MDC leader, Nelson Chamisa.
Well, I am not sure if the word hope in Hona is supposed to be a Shona word or an English world, but it would surely make sense if it is the former.
“This year is going to be a year of demonstrations and action . . . so this year, it must be known. I saw our colleagues in Zanu-PF, they have been very reluctant to see our demonstrations, but I can tell you that more are coming, more are coming because they are a constitutional injunction; they are not coming because it is (sic) a gift that comes from Zanu-PF, they are coming because it is a gift from our democratic dispensation of a Constitution . . .” he told his starry-eyed audience.
Demonstrations? Seriously? Kikikiki.
So will demonstrations give us the rains we need to make electricity and grow both our food crops and cash crops?
Will demonstrations attract more investors?
Will they bring in more foreign currency?
Will they bring hope?
And will demonstrations open industries and create jobs?
Can you build a country by destroying?
Well, Zimbabwe Stock Exchange (ZSE)-listed hotelier, African Sun, seems to think otherwise.
Their statement, which was made three months ago, could have escaped the attention of many.
It said: “The first quarter was significantly impacted by violent demonstrations, and stayaways which resulted in cancelled bookings from both the domestic and international market.”
If you did not know, that right there is the demonstrable outcome of demonstrations.
Bishop knows, as we all do, that in any case, such actions, if they materialise at all, will definitely come to naught, as they are being led by strawmen.
As we told you last year, these MDC men are all pop, no corn; all sizzle but no steak; all foam, no beer; all bark but no bite; all machismo but no macho; and all lather, but no soap.
Props
You should have seen how the shadowy MDC Vanguard — a youth militia of sorts — reacted when police descended on rowdy party supporters at Harvest Harvest on November 20 last year.
They quickly secured and fastened the gate in order to keep out both stray supporters — who had been used as props to antagonise the police — and determined police who were bent on reining them in. Kikiki.
The image of a lily-livered black-suited, red-beretted party youth tightly securing the gates to keep himself out of harms way while desperate and exposed party supporters scampered to find a convenient bolthole still haunts Bishop Lazi to this day.
Surely, politicians will never know salvation.
So, this time around, you have to ask yourselves, why talk of demonstrations, especially now?
Well, I have a clue: these demonstrations usually coincide with international events.
Just look at the European Union calendar of events; therein lies your answer.
Overall, the grand plan, as it has always been, is to ensure that people continue to stew in poverty, which would hopefully force them to become disaffected by the ruling Zanu-PF party and vote for the MDC.
Dead
Using poverty and suffering as a scaffolding to build political power and as a stepping stone to State House can only be the only viable alternative, especially for an ideologically dead political party.
You see, MDC was a creature that was ostensibly born out of a labour movement, which means its turf was on the political left, which incidentally was also occupied by the revolutionary and nationalist party, Zanu-PF.
However, the MDC could not ideologically package an alternative leftist message, except preaching about change.
That is precisely the reason it was home to the Munyaradzi Gwisai-led International Socialist Organisation (ISO) before he quit in 2002.
Well, that is before it was taken over by the gang from the UZ law alumni — Chamisa, Tendai Biti, Douglas Mwonzora, Fadzai Mahere, Thabani Mpofu, et cetera.
With a neo-liberal clique overly titling more to the right, the opposition party is now in disarray and its only hope — albeit myopic — is that the economy will implode, which, they believe, would be their ultimate ticket to power.
You do not have to read their losing 2018 election manifesto to conclude that the party now finds itself at ideological crossroads.
It is a mess!
This is why Gwisai had no kind words for the Chamisa-led MDC.
“Today’s MDC is the opposite of all those things … controlled by a cabal of anti-working class middle classes led by a clique of neoliberal lawyers… zvikutu (puppies).
“(It is) a clique loyal to American imperialism and that supports sanctions that affect the ordinary people the most . . .” said a stirred-up Gwisai in a recent interview. Kikikiki.
This is why Nelson Chamisa could and cannot see the irony of representing employers in a case which resulted in carnage in workplaces in 2015 after the Zuva judgment and still claim to represent workers’ interests.
But Matthew 7:16-20 guides us accordingly.
“You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore, by their fruits you will know them.”
Lack of ideological clarity means the MDC will continue to stammer and stutter.
However, it still has an opportunity to join the nation-building project.
They could still be hopeful yet, if indications from the young man’s speech are anything to go by.
“Hatichangomiriri kuti Zanu-PF ndoinoita chete; takunovaka mabridge, tovakira vanhu dzimba, toenda kushirikadzi, tonovaka zvikoro . . . kwete kungova neoppositional mindset.”
But you cannot be talking about demonstrations and nation-building in the same breath.
In any case, nothing will ever come out of demonstrations.
A dragonfly is not a dragon; it can never spit fire and brimstone.
Bishop out!
