Whatai??i??s the fuss about this US$15 billion?

Minister Chidhakwa
Minister Chidhakwa

GOT a call from a longtime friend, he was sounding really dejected: ai???Bishop, Mai Mujuruai??i??s party is crumbling and itai??i??s crumbling just too fast.ai??? I did not wait to hear much. ai???Ndibvirepo, how many times should i tell you that Mai Mujuru has not yet launched her political party? What political party? Can you point at anything and I mean anything that tells you that she launched anything. She has no political party and so nothing can crumble from nothing.ai???

I donai??i??t even want to waste time preaching about poor Joice. That one is coming back to Zanu-PF and those in the know will tell you that itai??i??s now a matter of when. Ukuwo murwere wedu Morgan anetwakewo. Imbira dzakondo chaidzo. You look at the gullible supporters and say kusaziva rufu. Zanu-PF soooka!

Enough about the joker Joice and the moribund Morgan.

There is a serious issue that is getting out of hand under our watch. And you have educated people, some with degrees in mathematics, who are appearing as if they canai??i??t add one plus one.

Letai??i??s do a bit of mathematics and donai??i??t even laugh at me if the figures donai??i??t add up because all this time all you people who claim to be masters in mathematics have been silent on this one.

There has been lots of noise about the supposed missing US$15 billion. US$15 billion?

Morgan and his party went onto the streets trying to whip up emotions by calling for the return of the US$15 billion?

Of course, sober Zimbabweans stayed home vachiita maths dzemari yavo yavaiva nayo kwete mafigure emumhepo.

If those who have been mining diamonds at Chiadzwa stole US$15 billion, letai??i??s see how things add up.

According to the Kimberly Process, Zimbabwean diamond prices are around US$55 per carat.

If we divide that figure by US$15 billion, it means the companies mined around 264 million carats. We then divide the 264 million carats by the six years that the companies have been in operation and we get around 49 million carats a year.

Now this canai??i??t be realistic macomrades. Even Russia which is the number one producer of diamonds doesnai??i??t even get close to 49 million carats.

I know those with mischief are already saying, but Bishop the US$15 billion came from President Mugabe.

Well, let me be very clear here. Yes, the President spoke about the missing US$15 billion on his birthday, but so what? Saka kana kukanzi munhu akamhanya tsoka dzichirova gotsi, does it mean kuti munhu uyu gotsi rake rakatozvimba nekurohwa netsoka? Come on guys, letai??i??s be a bit serious.

When I listened to the President speaking, I got the sense that he was just trying to emphasise the point that our diamond money was misused. He was not talking about the US$15 billion literally. He was speaking figuratively. Letai??i??s not act like dimwits. Kuita kunge marema so just to fool the gullible.

For goodness sake, we are supposed to be number one in Africa in terms of education and as Malcom Forbes would put it; ai???Educationai??i??s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.ai??? Where are our open minds?

Martin Luther King Jnr would add saying: ai???The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character ai??i?? thatai??i??s the goal of true education.ai???

Where are the critical thinkers of this beloved nation? I am talking about critical thinkers, not the circus that has hit town since 1999.

Critical thinkers who know the difference between hammering a point and making a point. But then even for those who are lazy to think and do the maths, the Finance Minister, Cde Patrick Chinamasa hinted I think it was in March that the figure canai??i??t be US$15 billion.

Speaking in the Senate after Midlands Senator, Lillian Timveous (MDC-T) thought she had found the opportunity to nail him, Minister Chinamasa told the Senators that Mines and Mining Development Minister, Cde Walter Chidhakwa would present a detailed report about the supposed missing US$15 billion when investigations into the matter were complete.

ai???Chidhakwa said he was going to try and see how this money disappeared and will present a report upon conclusion of the investigations to the august Senate on this matter . . . It is not that the US$15 billion is the amount, but we still have to investigate to see how much it was and who took it.ai???

There it is. Itai??i??s not Bishop Lazarus hallucinating. The Minister of Finance said it loud and clear in Senate. So whatai??i??s the fuss about the US$15 billion?

Yes, someone took our money, lots of it, but not US$15 billion, and the Government is acknowledging that. Bishop Lazarus will tell you that whether itai??i??s a dollar or whatever, someone took our money and we want that money back. That money is clearly not US$15 billion, but we want it back.

We hope investigations into this matter are about to be concluded and we want Minister Chidhakwa to tell us what exactly happened.

Talking of Minister Chidhakwa, looks like the soft-spoken and clearly sincere Minister was fed lots of lies before the formation of the Zimbabwe Consolidated Mining Company. We hear reports of a major shake-up at this company, barely six months after itai??i??s formation. This is not a good indicator and it doesnai??i??t inspire any confidence.

We hope the good Minister is effectively cleaning the house because he promised us lots of diamonds and we want those diamonds. Good thing is that Minister Chidhakwa does his things with open sincerity and we know that soon he will provide us with answers.

We donai??i??t want US$15 billion. We want answers.

Sorry, just to divert a bit. You see these days I am easily getting irritated ai??i?? yesterday we were bombarded with reports that the whole of the UK was celebrating the Queenai??i??s 90th birthday. One CNN reporter said ai???the Queen represents continuity in the UK.ai??? When he said this I was like, ai???Ok, this continuity is a preserve of the UK only? Why canai??i??t Zimbabweans be allowed their continuity with President Mugabe? And please donai??i??t tell me this hogwash that this one is a Queen and this one is a President. Isu tinoda continuity yacho navaMugabe.ai???

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  • Zen

    toxic bishop, shame

  • Jojo

    We assume you have been hiding in a closet Cde Bishop. The figure of $15 billion came from none other than your life President. Ask him where he got the figures from. When the head of state goes on national TV and says his govt only got $2billion and $13 billion is missing, we do not assume he is insane; we take him for his word especially if he has 7 degrees.

  • why will an English paper allow Shona and no translation what shit wasted my time

  • African Cristiano

    Education and literacy are two different things Bishop

  • Wayne

    How can Minister Chidakwa and bishop Lazarus talk like this, we have the most educated president in the world, if he says 15 billion is missing and you say he is wrong. How on earth can you dare to challenge my president like that. Do you think you are more clever than My President , how dare you

  • Rigayi Ikonomi

    nxa nxa nxa. jst like ”the president ddnt fall, he broke his fall” The time for twisting bare facts is over Mr Silly Arrogant Bitchshop. Hatichada and Hatichanyeperwa