VaShagare: Bongani Mafu, do you know Jesus?

ARMED with his fancy UEFA coaching qualifications Bongani Mafu must have made the relocation trip from the United Kingdom to Zimbabwe under the illusion that he is bringing football light to our shores.

Bongani Mafu, the football missionary!

With no proven coaching record but scores of certificates and a picture of him alongside Pep Guardiola going viral on social networks, the 49-year old coach took up the Highlanders job amid mixed reactions.

That Bosso gave him a one-year contract speaks loudly of how much confidence the side has, or does not have, in Mafu.

The off-season was topsy turvy but the Bosso mentor still remained high on confidence, promising that one of these days “someone will be smacked” by his side.

Well, five games have been played in the 2015 Castle Premier Soccer League and Highlanders haven’t smacked anyone as yet.

They don’t look capable of doing so.

Their stats say it all.

Played five, won two, drawn one and lost two.

Two goals scored, by defenders, and three conceded.

It doesn’t look good at all and Bosso fans are getting agitated.

Last Sunday’s home defeat to a Chapungu side that had neither won nor scored hitherto proved too much for some Highlanders fans who called for Mafu’s resignation through a peaceful demonstration laced with violent songs.

Now amid the pressure, the Bosso coach, who always looks prone to oral diarrhoea, suggested that “even Jesus would find it difficult” to coach Bosso because of the impatient club supporters.

“Even Jesus can’t coach Highlanders with this kind of friction. Our fans are so impatient but in a way one can understand them,” Mafu was quoted as saying by The Chronicle last Tuesday.

Now Jesus is a name you find in most Spanish speaking countries and one would hope that Mafu was referring to some Spanish chap and not Jesus of Nazareth.

Jesus Christ?

Like seriously?

This Mafu guy needs some divine intervention because nothing else, including publicly lashing his players, can save him from being fired.

Now a guy who needs divine intervention cannot mock Jesus.

Mafu is in trouble.

He knows it. If he goes, Va Shagare will miss his juicy sound bites.

“There’s no way that all the 11 players could be off form, you can understand one or two but not the whole team. That was rubbish, so nonsensical and it must never ever happen again,” Mafu also said of the Chapungu defeat.

Oh Mafu, you are a mouthful.

Twine Phiri needs Jesus too

I saw a picture of Caps United owner Twine Phiri at Prophet Walter Magaya’s church and nearly shouted “Praise God.”

Hopefully when Magaya decreed a blessing upon the life of congregants Twine got some wisdom or common sense at the very least.

He needs it.

Phiri cannot continue running Caps United like a tuck shop and the sooner he realises that the better for the Makepekepe faithful and Zimbabwean football at large.

Public admissions by coach Mark Harrison that all is not well in camp should worry Phiri because the Briton has tried to keep it all under wraps for some time now but he too seems to be losing patience with the drama.

There are individuals and corporates who are willing to assist Phiri and be associated with the Green Machine but the club owner’s questionable business ethics make them coy.

It boggles the mind how a man who has managed to set up a winning team at the PSL fails to do the same at a much smaller scale.

Does Twine benefit from the chaos that seems to have now become part of the Caps United DNA?

If not why isn’t he taking concrete steps to address the situation?

VaShagare exits the scene.

 

VaShagare is the founder of DeMbare DotComs and can be contacted on that Facebook page as well as the email [email protected]

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