The Sunday Mail
sir 18area.coms
IT must have taken a hell lot of guts for Philip Chiyangwa to publicly appeal for help through that now viral video he posted last weekend.
PC, the Zimbabwe football boss, must have expected brickbats to come his way and social media has steroids of vitriol go with that SOS from the Zifa boss.
“Yaawakapiwa naWicknell wakaitei nayo?? (What did you do with the money you got from Wicknell?)” asked one TN Zem on YouTube.
Constance Kabasa , also on YouTube, charged: “Shaa mari iyo hatina tiri kutoda kubatsirwa nemi. Patimire pakaoma mbozamai Prophet Magaya ndokwatakanzwa kuti iriko mari nablaz Wicky (We don’t have money, we want you to help us. Try Prophet Magaya and Wicknell).”
Fellow Zimbabweans, you never cease to amaze me.
The issue of national team funding is a serious matter and we need to give it the serious attention it deserves.
When he got into office on December 5 last year, Chiyangwa made some massive promises but while he has done reasonably well, it is clear he didn’t anticipate the magnitude of the mess he would find at 53 Livingstone Avenue.
Now after trying both the orthodox and the unorthodox the Zifa boss has come to us, the owners of the game, seeking financial assistance.
Yes, Chiyangwa could have done better in making the case more compelling: maybe a written presentation or engaging a professional PR firm would have seen him hit the bull’s eye.
If you listen to that video, the one time King of Selfies says: “This is Philip Chiyangwa the president of the Zimbabwe Football Association of Zimbabwe.”
Pity I cannot use that WhatsApp emoji that shows shock or confusion, hope you know it dear reader – that one with eyes as big and as wide as Mesut Ozil’s.
But the famous “kikiki” will do after that “president of the Zimbabwe Football Association of Zimbabwe” moment.
However, it is clear that the Warriors and Mighty Warriors need help because if all was well, Chiyangwa would not have disembarked from his high horse to say “I am yours”.
And as a patriot and true football fan, Yours Truly will be making a donation towards the nation’s senior football teams but this dole will come with a lot of buts.
Buts not butts, get a grip on that naughty mind of yours!
By accepting my money, Chiyangwa will be conceding that I also have a stake in the national teams and he will have to stop siding with Wicknell Chivayo when my big colleague – no pun intended – calls the Warriors “his team”, calls the Warriors players “his boys”.
Chivayo will have to start referring to the Warriors as “our team”, “our boys”, even if I put in US$1 and he gives them US$250 000.
I will give the Warriors my money but Chiyangwa and his team have to guarantee me that my dollar will not be misused, going towards servicing Tsivo or paying Zifa employees.
Unlike the Chivayo one-page arrangement, my dollar puts me into partnership with the national team and not PC and, he has to account for every bond coin of it.
When that money goes to pay Xolisani Gwesela – the only Zifa employee at the moment – Chiyangwa should expect to hear from me. Not that I hate Gwesela, I mean who would hate a fellow who always looks at war with himself and a tad too slow?
It’s a matter of principle.
The moment my money reflects in the account that Chiyangwa will set up for the Warriors I demand that we – the fans – be allowed to watch the boys train once in a while.
One open session ahead of a big game will not be too much to ask for in return for my dollar, a dollar that is worth much more than its face value as result of the struggles we have to go through just to get it out of the bank.
You will get my dollar PC but ….
Sir exits the scene!
Sir is social media commentator and writes this satirical column in his personal capacity. Feedback : [email protected]
