BISHOP LAZARUS: Anita Baker sings to Webster Shamu

Todayai??i??s sermon comes from Proverbs 17:28 and I particularly like how it reads in the King James Version.

Webster Shamu
Webster Shamu

Remember that grown man, a former DJ from the days of the liberation struggle who left many people in stitches after describing President Mugabe as Cremora?

That man, yes Charles Ndlovu, now known as Webster Shamu, is the subject of todayai??i??s sermon seeing that he is playing a fool who is not really foolish.

But before enjoying this Cremora, letai??i??s take a slight detour and tell MDC-T the truth that it doesnai??i??t want to hear.

Clearly, MDC-T does not get whatai??i??s going on with regards to the painful job dismissals following that God-sent Supreme Court ruling.

MDC-T has always been accused of lacking intellect in their thinking and the way they are handling the dismissals has clearly exposed Tsvangiraiai??i??s party.

Never mind that itai??i??s Nelson Chamisa, once Tsvangiraiai??i??s blue-eyed boy, who put the workers in the mess they are in. Poor Chamisa, who is rushing to call himself an advocate, was just singing for his supper.

MDC-T is at sixes and sevens and watching them debate the Labour Amendment Bill, one could clearly see the opposition had no clearly laid out plan to handle this issue ai??i?? typical of MDC-T.

Some MDC-T legislators even cried foul that Government was the ai???biggest retrencherai??? and they thought they were hitting the nail in Zanu-PFai??i??s coffin.

These poor thinkers ai??i?? they canai??i??t even see the IMF laughing at them.

MDC-T doesnai??i??t even understand its own friends. Who doesnai??i??t know that the IMF has been telling Government to cut its wage bill by reducing its workforce?

If indeed its true that the Government was the ai???biggest retrencherai??? does MDC-T really think the Zanu-PF Government had lost control and was failing to put a stop to the dismissals?

Well, if MDC-T thought Government had been caught unaware by the Supreme Court decision and the subsequent dismissals, then Tsvangirai and his dimwits should leave politics and try nhodo or something.

In fact, as it turned out, Government showed the opposition that it was in total control when after getting carried away, the MDC-T-led Harare City council tried to fire 3 000 workers.

It still boggles the mind why MDC-T was entangling itself in such a mess when the party claims to be pro-workers. Local Government, Public Works and National Housing Minister Saviour Kasukuwere saved the day by stopping the dismissals. Itai??i??s widely accepted that MDC-T is bankrupt of thinkers. Canai??i??t they see they are playing someone elseai??i??s game?

But letai??i??s leave MDC-T to do what they are really good at ai??i?? scoring own goals ai??i?? and move on to todayai??i??s sermon.

Bishop Lazarus, just like Bla Webby, loves music; music from times gone by when musicians took their time to compose meaningful lyrics.

I am sure as a former DJ, Bla Webby knows the 1990s song entitled ai???Sometimesai??? by American R&B and soul singer-songwriter, Anita Baker.

The song goes:

ai???Hold on a little longer/ Try to be a little stronger, And you can win/ And everything is gonna be yours/ When you cry the whole world laughs at you, They donai??i??t seem to understand/ But the time will come when the tables turn, And youai??i??re gonna have the winning hand.

ai???Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose/ Sometimes you wanna cry, sometimes you play the fool.ai???

This song aptly describes whatai??i??s going on in Shamuai??i??s troubled life these days.

The former Information Minister and former Zanu-PF political commissar is ai???holding on a little longerai??? and as he is crying ai???the world is laughing at himai??? because ai???they donai??i??t seem to understandai???.

Shamu was once on top, and he waxed lyrical: ai???Gushungo, people say you have Cremora, the whole body.ai???

I am sure as Anita Baker sang, sometimes Shamu wants to cry and he has gone overdrive ai???playing the foolai???.

At Zanu-PFai??i??s December 2014 Congress, Shamu shocked many when he sat looking lost and desperate near the VIP podium despite indications that he was not welcome.

He sat there, despondent, and it was easy to feel sorry for him as he watched his world collapse.

He played the fool, people mocked and laughed at him ai??i?? and he wonai??i??t stop playing the fool.

Those who have seen Shamu driving around confess that the man is no longer himself. He seems lost in time, talking to himself and chewing his chapped lips.

Things are just not well for Shamu and the situation is getting too desperate. Reports say former Higher and Tertiary Education Minister Dr Olivia Muchena, who was recently left homeless after a fire gutted her thatched farmhouse in Goromonzi, is also facing the same predicament.

And those before and after pictures of Didymus Mutasa surely take the cake! A few months ago, this poor Bishop asked: Can Zanu-PF comrades survive outside Zanu-PF?

Shamu, Muchena, Mutasa and many others who were either suspended or expelled from Zanu-PF are providing a clear answer to that question.

Unlike Rugare Gumbo, Didymus Mutasa, Temba Mliswa and Jabulani Sibanda who have lost their marbles, Shamu has been trying his best to show that he is still a comrade.

According to the King James Bible, Proverbs 17:28 reads: ai???Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.ai???

In simpler English, the Scripture reads: ai???Even a fool, when he holds his peace, is counted wise: and he that shuts his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.ai???

Shamu has been a fool, trying ai??i?? without success ai??i?? to hold his peace.

The man who said if given the choice he would have been Chatungaai??i??s elder brother needs to learn to hold his peace.

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  • D.N.Munonyara.

    As son of the late respectable man of God, I am groomed to know my place, and shut my mouth after a man of God has spoken. It has taken me some serious thinking and courage to also speak after the Bishop has spoken. The issue of Cde Shamu surprises me. To many, nobody wants to debate why and how he was kicked out of ZANU PF. That part we leave to politicians to cogitate, after all they have the time and are paid to do so.
    This is what surprises me of the ex minister. Bishop has recounted how he fared at the congress. As if that was not enough the nation saw him on television vachigwesha, with his wife behind him, reaching out to a former colleague. Bishop! Only the son of God could humble himself to that degree. Kana imi Bishop hamungazviite kana manzi basa rapera. We also heard, the former Minister was ejected out of some high table at some celebrations. The man has thick skin.
    Why should a man demean himself to that degree? Why is the man so keen to befriend with people who hate him so much with such passion? Bishop! are the man’s aspirations all about serving Zimbabwe or all for his selfish motives? If he is desperate for survival why does he not retreat kumunda onorima cabbages and chibage? If he is so desperate to serve the nation there are many many ways for him to make a difference. Bishop! Cde Shamu’s behaviour baffles.
    Bishop! I personally get very suspicious of character that you describe as wise. Is that the way we should all be groomed to rise up the power ladder? Surely the man should preserve what is left of his dignity. Bishop! your sentiments could imply the man is on a re-bounce mission. Our Bible instruct us not to judge. To me, he would not be good leadership material.

  • Kunakirwa Nechekutsvara

    In 2008 Shamu was asked by someone in a café, ‘What will you guys do if Tsvangirai wins the Presidency.’ Shamu said, ‘Tinongoramba tichitonga’ Why are people surprised when Sekuru Whebhi is still tap dancing to ZANU PF music even though the band is long gone? Because he was a DJ stupid, or is he a stupid DJ?