BISHOP LAZARUS: Psychology and Undenge: The maths donai??i??t add up

BISHOP LAZARUS: Psychology and Undenge: The maths donai??i??t add up

JUST like I have been preaching over the past few weeks, Zanu-PF has started vomiting. The pretenders are falling by the wayside ai??i??first it was Acie Lumumba and now itai??i??s Psychology Maziwisa. Of course, this is just the beginning and so it seems this is a game for small fish, but then take it easy husiku hurefu.

My only gripe with Zanu-PF is that it chews the vomit for too long such that you are tempted to think ichatisemesa kumedza marutsi. But good thing is that the vomiting has just started.

Letai??i??s start with this Maziwisa fellow. For some reason, congregants from my church say they donai??i??t feel the guy. They say in terms of everything, he sounds and look like this Lumumba circus. I tried to explain saying, no, no Maziwisa sounds better but the congregants swear that the empty noise is just the same. It dawned on me that I was fighting a losing battle and I left it at that.

But then some of you may be asking: ai???What has our Psychology done?ai??? Well, itai??i??s your Psychology and Energy and Power Development Minister Dr Samuel Undenge who have done something that left even Bishop Lazarus wondering why supposedly educated people could be so reckless. Actually, Psychology could cost the Minister so many things. I am not an appointing authority, so I wont stray into areas I know nothing about.

For those not in the know, the Minister was exposed last week for writing one of the most reckless letters ever written by a Minister. The minister was giving a directive to the Zesa management to give Psychologyai??i??s company, Fruitful Communications some consultancy work. I am just calling it consultancy work because I want it to sound more decent. In actual fact, itai??i??s nothing near consultancy work, but then I am in a good mood on a Sunday.

ai???They have (Fruitful Communications) have done publicity work for the Ministry of Energy and Power Development by putting me, as the principal voice at the forefront of explaining our vision as well as the different interventions that are currently being undertaken by the ministry,ai??? reads part of the letter.

Letai??i??s pause a bit. Does anyone out there know the vision of the Ministry of Energy and Power Development? Does anyone know of the different interventions the minister was talking about?

The good minister continued: ai???I have found them to be incredibly useful in this regard and hereby direct that you work as closely as possible with them at intervals of six months per engagement until 2018.ai???

Kikikkikikikikikikikikiki. Minister Undenge akomana! Kikikikkikikikiki!

He was trying to sound clever with his wording. ai???. . . and hereby direct that you work as closely as possible with them . . .ai??? And letai??i??s give it to the minister he knows a few things about tender procedures so he wanted an easy way around the problems that could arise. ai???. . . work as closely as possible with them at intervals of six months per engagement until 2018.ai??? Sekuru vangu Matope vaipopota vachiti ai???haiwawo, kungwaro pusa!ai???

And did you hear Dr Undengeai??i??s defence when he was contacted for a comment. ai???They are people in public relations and there is no formal contract with anyone and if anyone wants to help for free, we allow them.

ai???They felt they wanted to explain something to the public. Itai??i??s just like you, you write a lot of things but we do not pay you,ai??? said a cornered Dr Undenge.

Look, these ministers should know that they have the right to tell the journalist to ai???call me laterai??? or better still ai???send your questions in writing.ai??? They will then use this time to think proper and reasonable responses. They can even use the time to get in touch with the other partner so that when they come up with responses, they are coherent and make sense.

When he was contacted for a comment, Maziwisa also clearly showed that he was taken by surprise. He rumbled and mumbled, in the process exposing the minister. ai???Izvo munobvunza vakapa basa kwete vakapihwa basa.ai??? Ahh, come up Psychology! The minister had just told us that Tadacip buy online, clomid reviews. hamuna kupihwa basa but you volunteered your very good services for free because you wanted to explain something to the public. Kikikikkiki!

Ohh, by the way, Psychologyai??i??s other partner was said to be our very own Oscar Pambuka. Jokerai??i??s Company, if you ask me.

Now let me tell you something dear reader ai??i?? this Psychology boy is quite something. I think he actually needs some psychology to be honest.

Under his company profile, Maziwisa who claims to be the principal director says: ai???Fruitful Communications is a collection of the most creative, innovative and talent driven the area has to offer. Our team consists of a group of highly trained and experienced individuals. We believe in the importance of continuing education by regularly participating in further studies and training programmes, allowing us to excel in the ever-changing communications industry.ai???

Well, well ai??i?? what a company profile? The team consists of a ai???group of highly trained and experienced individuals.ai??? By this they were referring to Maziwisa and Pambuka. Thatai??i??s the highly trained and experienced group. Stop laughing itai??i??s not funny! These guys are in business.

Stop laughing because Maziwisaai??i??s profile can make you crack your ribs. ai???Psychology has many years of media experience. He rose to media fame during the July 31st harmonised elections in 2013 . . .ai??? now hear this all you Zanu-PF supporters, ai???. . . when he almost single-handedly co-ordinated Zanu-PFai??i??s media strategy.ai???

Now the truth is out. It was Maziwisa behind that victory? I have been wondering all along? Now I can sleep soundly. I know the truth. It was the highly trained and experience Maziwisa! Waaaal! Zvayo Zanu-PF!

Psychology went on to say a lot of things about his popularity on facebook and ai???is renowned internationally as a communications expert having appeared on BBC, CCTV, Sky News, Al Jazeera, E-NCA, SABC among others.ai???

Maziwisa? Our own internationally renowned communications expert? Indeed thatai??i??s why Minister Undenge had to give Zesa a directive. That Zesa spokesperson, Fullard Gwasira is not an internationally renowned communications expert like Maziwisa. Kikikikiki Psychology ngaakwane ladies and gentleman. That boy ngaaite mushe seriously.

I wonai??i??t torture you dear reader with Pambukaai??i??s profile but just know that he claims to be the brains behind Prophet Magayaai??i??s popularity. Pambuka thinks this country is a mental hospital. He thinks we donai??i??t know how Prophet Magaya does his things. Things that Pambuka canai??i??t afford. Tibvirepo Oscar!

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