The Sunday Mail
Changing Perspectives
Rutendo Gwatidzo
IT’S not always easy to express yourself and the moods you feel. Sadness and crying might not be enough.
You may feel like you want friends but you hate socialising. You may even feel like you want to be left alone yet you don’t want to be lonely.
You probably experience contradicting feelings and you feel like you are losing yourself, you want to control your thoughts but instead, they control you. You feel like you are in a battle that you don’t want to be involved in but you are forced to fight.
Depression is like the weather, it just comes when you least expect it sometimes and it may give you sudden swings. The feeling sometimes is extremely hot but before you realise it, it’s too cold and while you try to adjust it starts raining cats and dogs and before you find shelter, it’s probably windy like a hurricane.
Too much to bear
Depression is like that feeling when you lose something but you have no clue as to where you lost it and when you last had it. All you may know is that you had something but you no longer have it. You may try to reason with yourself but your mind sticks.
Depression is a mental health disorder and whether you suffer from it daily or have intermittent bouts of it, it is important for you to know that you are not alone in this mental health battle. Millions of people are suffering from mental health and depression especially in this season when the Covid-19 pandemic disturbed human life to an excruciating extent.
Its okay to feel messed up, it doesn’t mean that you are defective, it simply means you are human. Do not be alone, do not isolate yourself, find a way to express your feelings. It is refreshing sometimes to hear a few words from others who are feeling it or who went through it.
The reality
I believe that at one point or another, we all experience depression or mental health. It’s only that these are wounds that never show all the time. I believe that we all come across those phases in life when we experience grey and numb days when we feel like we are carrying the whole world on our shoulders. If you are in this category right now, know that you are not alone. Personally I have gone through a lot of depressing times in life and I know that many did and still do. It is important to let those feelings out of the inside of you. Sometimes, hiding those wounds can only make them worse. The solution is to expose them, get help so as to heal faster.
A big part of depression is feeling lonely even in a room full of people. Sometimes you actually feel lonelier when surrounded than when you are alone. You may feel like you can’t trust anyone or no one will be able to understand.
The danger
Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain yet it is more common, severely damaging and hard to bear than physical pain. The sad thing is that the more you try to hide it, the more you are likely to increase it. Come to think of it, it is much easier to say my back is aching or my tooth is aching than telling someone that my heart is broken.
You may reach a point where you feel hopeless and helpless and you lose the strength to fight. Yes, fight, but for what exactly, becomes the question. Is it worth it after all especially when those around you regard you as a mental issues person?
It has become easy for people to judge, to give names and to watch without helping when yet, most of them are probably going through the same or went through the same. Depression can be so insidious. We have lost millions of people to depression, we live among people with mental health issues more than we may see.
The whole world is in a recession and some countries are in a depression. What then can be so out of this world when people experience depression? I believe that every human being experiences secret sorrows that the world knows not. We all experience dark moments, it’s just that some are better at dealing with it than others.
The painful things we all experience in life are the things we are born to fight though we are destined to win. The struggle is real but the victory is certain if you are willing to fight the right way. Sometimes, all you need is those that truly love and care for you. Sometimes, you may need a total stranger to assist you, someone who will not judge you. You need to battle depression instead of suffering it.
Wounds that never show are deeper and hurtful than those that bleed. Depression is like a cancer that eats you from the inside. Do not suppress your feelings altogether. Depression can repel people from you. You need love but you may find yourself dishing out anger, hatred, bitterness, loneliness and all sorts of things that push people away.
Look deeper
If you find yourself dishing out any of the above mentioned, a combination or any in the same bracket then take heed of what our music legend Oliver Mtukudzi in one of his classic tunes:
“Ongorora chikonzero chaita musoro uteme (Find the reasons why your head is aching).”
Sometimes you are probably at a party and people take pictures but you may find yourself getting angry that others are taking such photographs. My friend, if that’s you, you need to consider dealing with depression.
It’s time to stop pointing fingers, it is time to stop pretending, it is time to stop judging, it is time to stop selfishness. If you can be in the habit of looking at someone closely and with care, ask how that person is doing, you may see tears coming out and sobs flying.
On the other hand, if you can be that person who admits weakness, you stand better chances to save yourself from harm. It is okay to tell someone that you are struggling.
It’s not over
An anonymous author once said “bent but not broken, scared but not disfigured, sad but not hopeless, tired but not powerless, angry but not bitter, depressed but not giving up.”
Even Paul in the Bible admitted at some point that he was hard-pressed on every side but did not despair. Why then do you want to judge others or why then do you want to pretend to live a smooth life all the time? Be challenged to see things from a different perspective. Be encouraged to give the best version of yourself and to live a peaceful life, knowing that, whatever you might be going through, you are not the first and neither will you be the last.
Be inspired to contribute towards making this world a better place to live, let it be for your benefit, the benefit of those around you and future generations to come. Together may we arise and make this world a better place.
Break the bias
You are not an exemption. What affects one, may affect us all. May we fight depression, may we fight mental health, yes together we are strong, and together we can make it.
Rutendo Gwatidzo is an Entrepreneur involved in corporate wear and interior designs. She is also an author of the book Born to Fight. She is also a Speaker, Mentor and HR Consultant. She is driven by her MOTTO…. Born To Fight but Destined To Win. The struggle is real but the victory is certain if you fight strategically with winning strategies. Her strategic strengths come from the ability to see things differently to make a difference. Contact detail — 0714575805/ [email protected] / Rutendo Gwatidzo official fb public page
