The Sunday Mail
I WALKED into my favourite pub in Crowhill and found an elderly patron close to being beaten up by the bartender.
His crime: The senior citizen had ordered six cold ones and snacks to titillate his taste buds, only to fail to pay as he had promised.
“I am not the kind to play a joke on anyone. I actually had a US$20 bill in my wallet before I retired to bed last night, but now I cannot find it. Trust me, I will pay you,” the embarrassed patron pleaded with the bartender, who was seething with anger.
In an isolated incident, a curvy and chocolate-skinned woman wearing a tight jumpsuit that clearly defined her body contours walked into a hair salon for a hairdo.
She asked for many extras and carried herself all the while with an air of achievement, only to fail to pay her bill at the end of the deal.
“My sister, I had the money in my handbag. I even counted the notes before I went to bath, but now I cannot find the money. Oh, how embarrassing this is!” she could be heard saying to her hairdresser, who was shouting and appeared to have been emboldened by the spirit of legitimate expectation.
Gentle reader, such cases are common among married people, those with live-in partners and people with children.
Many men and women have a bad habit of nicking cash from each other’s wallets and handbags.
Called “kudzura”, “kudambura”, “kumhwishura”, “kuzvuva” or simply “nicking”, this habit of taking a few notes or all the money from one another seems very common.
Heavy drinkers are mostly on the receiving end.
Each time one gets home drunk, they are sure to wake up the next morning with barely nothing or a few meaningless notes.
What largely infuriates one is discovering that one would have been duped in embarrassing fashion at filling stations, in supermarkets or hair salons. “Women are a funny lot.
I bought two quarts of beer with a US$20 bill and put all the change in my pocket before I went home. To my horror, I just could not find any cent after taking a bath in the morning.
“I could not ask my wife about the money because I did not see her taking it and I also had not declared to her that I had money on me. Mudzimba umu varume, injakenjake,” I heard a certain man saying at the bar last week.
Women too complain of being victims of nicked handbags.
“I love my husband dearly but imwe yaanotambaso haiite. I knew I had US$30 in my handbag last weekend. He drove me to church while he went out drinking with the boys.
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I only discovered that he had taken US$10 from my handbag when I wanted to pay a tithe.
When I asked him about the missing cash, he just started laughing and refused to talk about it,” a female workmate told this writer.
She said when she is loaded, she never leaves her bag anywhere.
“Even when going to the toilet, I carry my bag. Men love their beer a lot and sometimes they feel too ashamed to ask and end up stealing. Varumeso, vakaoma,” she said.
While men and women nick cash and valuables from each other as part of their love game, it is now disturbing that children have joined in.
Whenever their parents retire to bed, some children are now in the habit of searching for money in wallets and even in parked vehicles.
At bars, it is also not unusual to see some naughty patrons helping themselves to biltong, roasted chicken pieces and even beer while the bartender will be using the bathroom.
Stealing is a bad habit that needs to be discouraged at all costs.
“Thou shalt not steal” is one of the commandments in the Bible, yet people steal for the fun of it.
Inotambika mughetto.
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