The magic of now

Milton Kamwendo Hunt for Greatness  —
I WENT to school and was told to hope for the best if I just stuck it out.

Tomorrow would be better. That is all that mattered. My teachers were faithful and helpful. I was taught how, in the future, I would apply for a job, which was waiting for me all along.

I hoped for that moment and had many dreams of that day to come. I was taught how in the future I would apply nagging and long mathematical formulas. I just had to keep hope alive. I was armed with bunches of equations, theories and theorem.

I submitted papers and assignments solving probable national questions except that I could not bring myself to solve problems of personal poverty and the realities I saw my family live in. I was taught about the vast canvas of history and delved into the world of literature.

I lived in the land of the literary greats, but was absent in my own narrative. It did not matter, that was for the future. I studied African and European history and everything in between. I learnt about the geography of distant places that I yearned for. I forgot to enjoy and appreciate my own land, people, places and spaces. I learnt to appreciate other lands and other people. I wanted to travel.

Other people were better and I debated about it. I only forgot that being a citizen this land I take for granted is my opportunity canvas. I was drunk with the possibilities of lands I had not seen and could not see the grandeur of what I saw daily.

I wanted the future. I learnt some complicated things as well that made me wonder where these are ever applied. Did it matter? I would graduate, anyway. I never questioned the relevance of what I was learning to reality, exams were always present to whip me into line.

I loathed the rural areas, and forgot that this was my reality and heritage. I thought big, but was absent from the questions that mattered now and here. The future would be better.

Perhaps my biggest challenge was that with most of my learning I excluded now and me. I was a reluctant citizen, mindless learner and did not realise that I was alive now and had a responsibility to make a difference.

I was out to accumulate more facts, more things, more and more and did not see that I was here to make a difference and make the most of this moment.

It was as though I did not belong here but was learning and living with a packed suitcase ready to depart and be relevant elsewhere. I was a post-dated man, working for the future but without value today.

What my examiners wanted was more important than what I wanted out of life and my studies. I got confusing perspectives of the past. I praised the heroes of the past, I could not step up to the stage of my current realities with heroic boldness.

I just had to learn a little more and I knew my CV would be more glorious. Instead of results, I got busy with activities. I had to be prepared for the future. I just forgot that the future is like a rainbow that I was chasing and a mirage. Life and living were here and now.

I knew I was going to find it all useful one day. When the situation changes, when someone arrives, when the economy gets better and when seasons change. I was a gambler, addicted to games of chance and habits of irresponsibility.

Few people that I met seemed to emphasize the magic of the present moment. I was excused from living today. I seemed to be learning to accumulate knowledge but not to do. If I was not taking exams I kept feeling I was losing ground. I through ground is certificates and did not realise that my value is in the solutions I proffered and how I was useful today.

I rejoice that I was not expected to immediately use what I was learning. I thought that was a favour and not realising that that was insane.

Someone was responsible, but not me. I had to wait for opportunity, graduation, reality and had to keep my passport intact because I could always fly away and return when things got better. I was not obsessed with education for doing, and being. It was education for waiting, opportunity and prestige.

Somehow instead of seeing that I was already something, the certificates that I pursued were supposed to make me significant. There was a yawning gap between present reality and dreams of the future.

I preferred to dream than face reality and solve its riddles. I was absent from life and assumed someone would find a good use of what I had learnt. My education prepared me to think like a victim not a change agent. It was an education of accumulation and chance, not application and presence.

I was not prepared to take what I was learning and use it quickly and directly during and after class. I had to wait for at least three years. A lot had to wait for that special graduation moment it would be a grand entrance into the hall of success. It is only now that I realise that I was a sick man. I regrettably lived in a compartment that excluded the present and set me up to be a victim.

No one kindly whispered to me in no uncertain terms that I was not taking classes so that I could be a victim. I needed to hear that no one owed me a living. Such facts were not part of the curriculum, someone was busy working on my future opportunities.

I needed to learn to produce, and I thought a job would do that for me. For now I despised all sweaty work, I just needed to sweat in the library. I accumulated lots of dots that were not connected.

As a result everything in my life was on pause until after school. I was going to write a book, after school. I was going to get a driver’s license, after school. I was going to really commit to serving people, after school.

I would live, later. I was going to go into business, after school. I was future directed, foreign denominated and a professional complainer. I lived for the future, I was told that my future is in my education and did not learn much about living in today.

When I graduated, I carried the habit, of working for the future and found I was too scared to live in today. One day I knew everything would be perfect. Someone had to solve today’s problems because I deserved a better nation, with opportunity and privilege because I had attended classes. That day was in the future.

Something was just not adding up. I was frustrated chiefly because I was insane and did not realise that if anything is to be it is up to me.

Frustrated
Your level of frustration is likely represented by the gap between your present reality and your past projections of the future. Hoping that someone was present and engaged today, while I was working on the future was a futile idea.

Today is that future that you talked about so much in the past. You are the protagonist. You are the main actor, play this scene well. You do not just live for the crescendos of life.

The magic challenge in life is not getting what you want, but wanting what you get. Value this moment and respect it. Use every moment and tap into its magic. You are not going to live in the future, you are alive now.

Right now you are living the life of your dreams. You are where you are because of the thoughts, ideas, hopes and prayers of the past. This moment was just once a foggy future. Do not put off living in today.

Instead of being frustrated with the present, look squarely into it and squeeze out all of its juice. If ever there is any blessing to count, count it today.

If there is ever a relationship to savour, be fully present in the relationship. Play your part and make your difference. Everything else is fiction, only the present moment is non-fiction.

Admission
In many restaurants they have a sign that they post at the door for patrons to read. The sign reads: “Admission Reserved.” Usually we do not think much about that sign.

However, should the restaurant decide that you are not welcome as a diner, they will just remind you that they reserve the right to choose who to admit.

Regrettably most of us go through life without a sign posted on our foreheads that reads: “Admission Reserved.” As a result it is easy dwell so much on problems, negativity and on all that is not working.

Control admission to your mental processing centre. If your mind is an open unlocked door, complaining, protesting and negativity become the dominant narrative. Instead of dwelling on glorifying the past, being frustrated about the future welcome this day. Choose to live in this moment fully and be present in it.

I am not suggesting that you escape from reality, but to realize that the currency of reality is not just the negative. Yes, some things may not be working, but there is a lot more that is working. Yes, you may not have everything you would want, but there is a lot more that you have that you could appreciate and use.

Count your blessings and live in them. Use this moment or your lose it forever. In sickness, you realize how much health means. When you lose a special one you suddenly realise how much the meant to you.

Every moment has its special lining, find it and rejoice in that. Stop being so obsessed with the future that you forget what the present means. Stop glorifying the past so much that you forget that you are a living wonder.

Awake
Wake up every day with a spirit of gratitude and a determination to live and make a difference. Determine that this day you will be fully present and you will do your best and make the most of this moment. Determine to live and not just be a part of the “living dead.”

Determine that you will be fully engaged with the business of living. You do not want to get to the end of your life and realise that you were in hot pursuit of the future, but never present in today. Wake up and salute the day.

Be more mindful. Smell the roses, and feel their leathery skin. Hold the hand of your loved ones and feel the warmth of those hands. Do not let death rob you of the magic of life. See the glee in the ordinary moments and work to affect your sphere of influence. Count your blessings because you have them and they are many.

If you want to be depressed count your miseries, consider all the lost opportunities. Keep driving so much towards the future that you forget today. To arrive at your death bed and realized you were going to live in the future and never lived today is to have wasted a life. Live now.

Milton Kamwendo is an international transformational and inspirational speaker, author and coach. He is a strategy, innovation, team-building and leadership facilitator. Feedback: [email protected] and Twitter: @MiltonKamwendo or WhatsApp at: 0772422634