The Sunday Mail
IT was only after the arrival of some vivacious ladies that we discovered the bloke who had been sponging on us all day long had money.
Imagine, we had spent the whole day spoiling him with booze and braai meat.
Actually, when the unexpected happened, we were considering dumping him after growing weary of the chap.
“Guys, if it continues like this, I will openly tell him not to come for a drink without money,” Freddy complained.
Justin, who was livid, chirped: “Not in this day shall we carry such characters about. Ngaarove pasi! Idununu! He is a burden!”
Just as we were about to tell the guy off, the mood unexpectedly changed.
There is something about women that makes the lion in some men roar!
Barely had these ladies taken their seats in the makeshift bar that my friend loosened his purse strings.
In the twinkling of an eye, we discovered he actually had more money than all of us combined.
He bought copious amounts of beer for Jacqueline and her two friends.
The three well-built ladies wore sweet perfume and made every man drool in their short dresses, which swayed from side to side as they moved from one point to the other.
Well, there are man who can buy a woman all she needs provided she allows them to hold their hand longer than an ordinary greeting.
Trying too much to make an impression is actually a disease that knows no sex, age or occasion.
During my school days, we called this “dziso”, “mawara”, “kuonesa”, “kuonererwa” or “playing rich”.
On this day in question, I did not care to ask how my friend had instantaneously transitioned from a charity case to a blesser the moment the girls arrived, because I only wished the ladies had come a bit earlier.
There are many people who try too hard to impress to the extent that they will never come for a family function without a car, even if they do not have one.
They will hop from one friend to another looking for a swanky set of wheels to roll in for a wedding or funeral.
While this is considered shameful, some people will always lie about what they do, where they grew up, what they own and their parentage.
Poor parents and deprived neighbourhoods are disowned, while anything modern is embraced hook, line and sinker.
In such instances, parents can easily turn to aunties or uncles.
“Who doesn’t know that these days things are tight? Always strive to look your best . . . Better borrow a car and look well pane kuva pamuromo pevanhu nenhamo,” a long-time family friend confided in this writer.
But he is not the only one who shares this view.
There are some people who are hyper-sensitive to the extent that if they are having their lunch with vegetables, beans, kapenta and chunks, they will never dish the food until they have seen your back.
Some women would rather sink in debt by borrowing food items they cannot even afford just to please a visitor or old schoolmate.
In cases where churchmates volunteer to visit a congregant’s house for a midweek prayer session, some hosts will go out of their way to borrow modern furniture from neighbours just to create favourable impressions.
And then there are those guys who introduce their friends as brothers and sisters to their girlfriends simply because they are ashamed of their siblings.
The cat, however, usually comes out of the bag when the duped woman falls pregnant.
“If there are people who are lied to more than others, they are women. Men say a lot of things to make women believe they are what they are not,” said Martha Mugadza of Ruwa.
“Tanzwa nekunyeperwa imi wee. Married men often introduce fake relatives to would-be in-laws. At times these men also claim to be what they are not . . . Most men are so into lies that they end up believing their own lies to be true.”
Some men are always in trouble with their spouses for spending money intended for school fees on beer to please their friends.
“No one has ever been killed for being broke or poor and you shudder to think why some people will never stop keeping up appearances.
“There is always drama at their homes because creditors are always on their case. People who live fake lives borrow a lot and the rate at which they borrow does not always keep up with the rate at which they get money, saka ndipo panozoti womei,” said one Jealous Makoni of Mabvuku.
Whenever people gather, be assured that two or three people there will be living a lie.
Inotambika mughetto.
Feedback: [email protected]
