The Sunday Mail
THANK you. I am sorry. I love you. I appreciate you. You are looking good.
Changing Perspectives
Rutendo Gwatidzo
These are just a few examples of simple phrases that have a big impact in people’s lives.
I celebrated my birthday last week.
Many wished me a happy birthday and it blessed my spirit, body and soul.
In return, I had to say words like “Thank you” or “I appreciate”.
A group of friends decided to take me to a fancy restaurant for lunch.
As I got out of the car, one of the ladies told me that the weave I was wearing was not the best for the occasion.
I just said: “Well noted, ma’am.”
What surprised me was that she had not yet wished me a happy birthday, but managed to give an uncomplimentary comment, given the timing and
place.
Many people believe only bombastic words make an argument or spoil someone’s mood. However, simple words can cause confusion and harm more than many would realise.
Often, simple but negative words can ring in someone’s ears and negatively impact on them.
What many people fail to realise is that positive words can build and transform a person.
For example, it is better to say to someone: “You look nice; however, on occasions like these, a different kind of hairstyle could have been fitting.”
It is different when someone starts by saying something negative, which can easily make someone lose confidence and self-esteem.
Organisational status
What many managers in organisations fail to realise is that it takes positivity to produce something progressive.
Yes, there are a few instances where negativity can push someone towards better results, but I believe the generation that used to work hard to prove a point in a negative environment is slowly fading away.
Today’s people are highly sensitive beings, who put so much emotions into everything they do.
Most of the time, negative words impact them negatively and positive words impact them positively.
Gone are the days when a manager would shout at someone to prod them to produce better results.
These days, it is like the more you use negative words, the more they underperform.
But many managers do not realise they are actually negative in their approach.
While it sounds normal to raise a voice to admonish and punish someone, this is often a negative approach to use.
I agree this might be warranted in certain circumstances.
However, most individuals need to be rewarded to do better.
Rewards are not only monetary.
They can come in the form of
recognition and special acknowledgement that make someone feel appreciated.
One of the organisations I work with recognises its outstanding workers fortnightly. The employee who would have outshone others gets a special chair in a special office and gets to eat first at lunch.
The company does provide lunch for everyone and the employee of the week gets to dish the quantities he or she likes first while everyone else gets served later.
The special employee is also allowed to take away food.
This particular organisation is doing very well because of highly motivated teams.
The same organisation also does weekly updates on what would have gone well and areas that require improvement.
Management allows teams to evaluate themselves and make
their own commitments on how to improve.
I would like to encourage managers to expose weaknesses and address incompetence in a positive way.
Based on the experience and exposure I have with different firms, I strongly believe positive rebuke goes an extra mile in pushing teams to perform compared to shaming.
Managers should get familiar with phrases like “Well tried”, “Well done”, “Keep it up”, “You did well” or “You are looking good”.
Simple words can either positively or negatively shape organisational culture.
Sometimes companies spend big amounts of money trying to find where they are getting it wrong.
Some do strategic planning often but still get to wonder where they are missing it. Sometimes the magic is in exercising the seemingly small things like using simple words that have a big impact.
General facts
Positive or negative phrases might be more impactful than you think.
Positive words build.
Imagine hearing phrases like “You can do it”, even when you are struggling.
The positive words become the driving force towards better performance.
Be challenged to be deliberate about saying positive words to others often, even when the other person is struggling.
There is always a better and positive way of saying it.
Others call it constructive criticism.
We are nearing the end of the year; some are faced with exams, deadlines and targets. I wish you success and, yes, you can do it.
Rutendo Gwatidzo is the managing consultant at The HUB HR Consultancy. She is a multi-award-winning leader, consultant, speaker and coach. She is also the author of “Born to Fight” and “Breaking the Silence”. Feedback: 0714575805/ [email protected] / Rutendo Gwatidzo_Official FB public page
