The Sunday Mail
Tendai Mbirimi Bridal writer
This instalment is not meant to scare you, but to prepare you for life after the wedding.
In the midst of the festive season merriment, l was part of the glee.
Like the biblical watchman of the house of Israel, I watched the glitz and glamour of merrymaking from a distance as love-birds of varying ages graduated into husbands and wives.
Using all kinds of hired and borrowed rides — from H2 Hammers, limousines, latest SUVs to horse drawn chariots — highly decorated brides made their way to wedding venues.
As a gatecrasher at most of the weddings, I found myself following proceedings from the peripheries, making it difficult to capture everything.
As in most cases, amongst the crowds were prophets of doom, querying the compatibility of the love-birds involved.
However, I picked a bit of sense from their weird way of thinking.
I followed their debates and concluded that truly, most people invest more in the wedding ceremony than they do in the marriage itself.
This is exposing the unions to many dangers.
Most couples are not investing in the post wedding era.
A wedding is a component of a marital union which in most cases form the entry point into a marriage.
The success of a marriage is not determined by the hype or glamour of the wedding, but by the ability to withstand the evil day, and having done all, to remain in the marriage until death.
Couples want successful marriages yet they forget to invest in other non-financial facets of a marriage, which comes barely a few days after the wedding.
Like the biblical Canaan where God promised the Israelites an earthly paradise, simulated to a life of milk and honey, most brides-to-be perceive marriage as an earthly paradise — a wave-free maritime adventure.
To the contrary, a marriage has its tests and challenges.
This is not a sermon, but for clarity, allow me to go biblical.
The book of Judges (Jud: 3v1-3) records that there were eight Heathen nations which God left to live in Canaan so as to strengthen Israel.
This was only so that the generations of the children of Israel would be taught to understand war, particularly those who had not formerly known war before.
Marriage has its own challenges which are not meant to destroy the wedding but to strengthen it. A marriage comes with its own challenges, conflicts and responsibilities, which would-be brides and grooms should anticipate and overcome without destroying the institution.
Marital conflicts are meant to strengthen the union whereas responsibilities are meant to test ones’ aptitude in providing for the family.
A family is the primary institution for men and women, which tests one’s ability to lead.
A man or woman who is able to provide for the family is also a good leader at his workplace or church.
All those who have failed to provide for their families have also in the same breath failed to give good results wherever they are given leadership tasks.
Suppose wife discovers that her husband is involved in an extramarital affair or in the event that the wife fails to conceive — it is in the best interest of the marriage to be prepared for such eventualities so as not to react in a way that may render the marriage a nullity.
These and others are real threats to a marriage which all would-be couples need to be conscentised on and be ready to deal with.
Soldiers that are not fully prepared to understand the consequences of battles are the ones who turn the gun on themselves when the war gets tough.
Post wedding era shapes both the groom and the bride into either a real father or real mother whose umpteenth wedding anniversary will depict glitz and glamour of a conqueror.
Marriage is not bliss through and through. Have you prepared yourself enough for any eventuality?
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