The Sunday Mail
Mudzimba
Dr Chisamba
DEAR Amai, I hope I find you well. I am a 29-year-old guy and married to a humble woman. We are blessed with two children. My neighbour’s spouse is a vendor. She has two small kids and no helper. I personally respect what she does; she is the main breadwinner in her family.
The husband does menial jobs around the community.
My issue is, when she goes to sell her things, she instructs her kids to come to our home to play, eat and stay until she comes back. My wife does not complain; she takes good care of these kids.
Last weekend, while they were at our place, we received a call that my father had been rushed to hospital because of a serious illness.
We tried to call both parents, but their phones were unreachable. We decided to take the kids with us, as we had no choice.
Leaving them alone was not an option.
My father was attended to and discharged the same day.
We left our rural home very late, and when we got back, the kids’ parents were angry with us. They did not even give us a chance to explain why we ended up going with them.
They accused us of having taken their kids to a witch doctor to conduct rituals. They are making it a very big deal. We are heartbroken.
We thought we were helping. How best can we handle this? It has made us unpopular in our neighbourhood.
Response
Hello writer, I am well. Thank you for reaching out to me. It is very unfortunate that things turned out this way. You did so much in terms of babysitting.
The biggest mistake was that you did not speak your mind when these kids were sent to your house every now and then. Your neighbours took you for granted and enjoyed the convenience when it suited them. Children are delicate; you do not just take care of someone’s kids when there is no binding arrangement.
They can easily fall sick or worse, under freaky circumstances. It was a bad decision for you to take the neighbours’ kids with you to your rural home. However, the circumstances were pressing. Their accusations are unfounded and defamatory.
I suggest you take this to law-enforcement agencies so that this nasty chapter is closed once and for all. Once bitten, twice shy; never involve yourselves in such things again. I would be happy to know the outcome.
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Learned cousin upsetting family
I really do not know whether mine is a problem or if I am overreacting. We have a family group, which has proved convenient. People are now able to update and iron out issues together, and promptly. A fortnight ago, one of my cousins, who attained his first degree, wrote something disturbing.
He suggested we split the group based on academic qualifications because some family members do not have sound reasoning capacity. Since then, nobody has responded or said anything.
Now, no one knows whether they make sound contributions or they may be among the people being targeted. I was personally hurt. Would I be wrong if I exited the group or spoke my mind on the same platform?
I only passed one Ordinary Level subject. I wanted to tell him that the family does not benefit from his degree at all, so he should shut up.
Response
Hello distressed writer. In as much as your cousin is wrong, you also seem to be on edge. It is unfortunate that messages are tone- deaf, so, when you read, you are unable to tell whether it was a joke in bad taste or intended to be hurtful. The fact that nobody has responded on the same platform positively or negatively means a lot. Silence is golden. He may be feeling very uneasy now.
I encourage you not to be worried about this. Remember, this is a family group and you are in it by virtue of being bound by blood ties. It is different from a company group, where people may be grouped according to their designations, departments or education levels.
What he said may now dilute what comes to the group platform if you all take offence. You are a family. I believe you are bigger and stronger than his message.
The best way to wipe out negativity is by being positive. Continue to post to the group and simply ignore his message.
Leave him to atone for his own sins. Last but not least, learning does not end. You can use it as fuel to carry on with your own studies and end up with a list of powerful accolades. I would be happy to hear from you again.
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Mother is feuding with Maiguru
I am a 24-year-old man and still single. My mother’s elder sister never had children of her own, but had a very stable marriage until her husband died.
My parents told me that she is the one who gave me my name, and for the sake of anonymity let us use the pseudonym Bernard.
Over the years, family and friends called her Mai Bernard and my parents would let me go and spend holidays with her.
I remember, she paid fees for me and took care of whatever I wanted. I became very close to her, although I loved my parents dearly.
Her husband died when I was in my first year at university but she continued to love me, and paid for my tuition.
I promised myself that I would never forget what she did for me. When I started working, in January this year, I bought her a suit just to show my gratitude.
She almost cried with joy and thanked my parents for raising a child like me. What hurts me most now is, this did not go down well with my mother. She wanted me to buy her something first. I did not expect her to begrudge her own sister, who did so much for me and my siblings. My mum is not happy. What can I do to solve this without Maiguru knowing?
Response
Primarily, let me say congratulations and well done; you are a very rare breed. Looking back and remembering what Maiguru did for you is very commendable. I do not understand how your mum can begrudge her over a mere suit when she paid fees and did so much for your family.
In life, some people easily forget what took place yesterday. I suggest you speak to your parents and retrace your life journey. She needs to be reminded before it is too late. Your father can help you fix this. Whatever you do, do not ever let Maiguru know about how your mother reacted because this will break her to pieces. Continue to do well. Please, keep me posted.
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