The Sunday Mail
I raised ungrateful children
DEAR amai, how are you? I am a very disgruntled man. I raised my three sons alone. My wife left when the youngest was just two years old. I never remarried. I focused on raising them the best way I could. They are all grown now, but still it does not change the sacrifices I made when they were young.
Their mother went off with another man. She came back after 10 years and I accepted her and forgave her. However, this was short-lived as she went away after another two years. As we speak, I am suffering, but my sons do not look after me. I am getting word that they are instead looking after their mother. I do not know what I did wrong. How best I can solve this issue. Please help.
Response
I am very well, thanks. I am saddened by your current predicament. I wish your sons would remember where they came from. I feel as if you have left out some important information. I do not get the fact that you let her go and come back to you whenever she pleased. She seems very irresponsible. It is clear she did not care about you and the kids.
I think you should have a meeting with your sons and tell them how disappointed you are in them for not helping you out. It is dangerous to go by what the grapevine is saying.
It would also be a good time to clear the air and ask them if they are indeed taking care of their mother. It is their right to do as they please, but I think you will get more closure with it coming from them rather than hearing it from others. I want to applaud you for being a good father who looked after his family even in the most difficult of situations. I am sure you will gain more clarity after the meeting. I wish you all the best.
***
Mainini is a temptation
I am a 32-year-old man married to a 31-year-old woman. We have a one-year-old son together. Things are going great. We do our best to look after our parents, although I feel like she gives more to her side of the family.
Currently, we are staying with her sister who is in high school. I think she likes me and she is trying too hard to tempt me. She sends me silly pictures and messages on social media and behaves differently when her sister is not around. How best can I resolve this? I am wondering if I should tell my wife so she can sort this out.
Response
I am happy that things are going well in your marriage. Let us make sure it stays that way. I know you feel like she does more for her side but you do not have the smoking gun. If it bothers you so much, address it. Try to be as direct as possible and tell her how you would want things to be. It is only through such action that the matter can be put to rest.
As for mainini, report her as soon as yesterday. Mind you, this child is in high school. You can be arrested if you fall for her trap. Her sister must deal with her as she sees fit. Perhaps sending her to boarding school would not be a bad idea. Either way, do the right thing before it spills over. Be sure to show her the messages as well. For your sake, I hope there was no back and forth in these messages, as that would prove you were partly allowing it to happen. Please give me feedback on how it goes.
***
My boss is lazy
I am a maid and I work for a middle-aged couple with two kids. I will not complain much because I always get my salary on time. My issue now revolves around the fact that the wife is very lazy. When I go off, they eat takeaway the whole weekend and she even saves the dirty dishes for me until I return. I find such behaviour astonishing. I am told she is a manager where she works. Maybe that is where it is coming from. What is your take on this?
Response
I am glad that so far the working conditions are fairly stable and you do not have a lot of major complaints. Your boss’ behaviour is concerning, but there is not a lot you can do. She will simply tell you that you are employed for that very purpose and she will not appreciate you policing her. I do not think her position has anything to do with it.
She is just naturally wired that way. For now, just do your job and do not let it get in the way of you making ends meet. At her age, you cannot teach a dog new tricks. While I too believe people must try and clean up after themselves as much as they can, it is still her house. From the looks of it, it sounds like her husband and kids have accepted it. For your sake, avoid the urge to gossip about this in the neighbourhood. It will always come back to you.
◆ Write to:[email protected], Whatsapp 0771415474.
