The Sunday Mail
Life Issues with FGK
THE boy child is the most celebrated within most families.
Tradition has cultured our beliefs to hold in high esteem him over her, yet all children deserve equal privileges. Most families afford the male child more material support and favour in everything, including in academic affairs.
However, over time the processes have neglected moral support. Men are supposed to be “macho”, society demands. But this has shortchanged the material investment made in them. It is difficult to reap from a field where weeds and crops compete for survival. The same is happening with our boy child. We have taught him most things to do with taking care of himself, not others.
Yet raising a family is broader than simply putting food on the table. We must train him to be a father figure, a good husband, a good worker and business colleague, a kind member of society, an honest worker and a good citizen of his country.
Children must be trained on the balance that is needed to navigate through life’s hurdles. This education does not come through academics, nor is there any institution that offers such curriculum. The parents must make a conscious decision to train their children, both male and female, about life.
Life on its own can do the job. Life is a teacher. But never allow your children to learn through experience only. The experiences they will encounter when they are untrained might devour them.
Parents need to morally prepare the boy child and make him ready for what the world will present to him. The road of life is tough, but it is tougher for those that meet surprises on every corner. They will either be broken into pieces or become a danger to society.
When you really intend to train the boy child, make sure that you, as a father figure, have learnt some lessons in life. He shall be asking questions, and remember you would not want to be asked what you do not know and be embarrassed. lf you are not knowledgeable, you risk being dismissed, you risk not being taken seriously.
Many children, especially those that grew up with absentee fathers in their lives, have a tendency of being resistant to advice. They are not used to being told what to do.
Most mothers are soft and feminine. With that level of gentleness, it is not easy to instruct the boy child with firmness.
No offence to those that grew up without their fathers, but some, if not most of them, need to look up to the male figures in their lives to understand how they ought to handle life as a man. The responsibility of a man is so diverse and complex such that the boy child needs to be well equipped in the obvious dimensions we are used to and then, most importantly, moral intel- ligence.
This then nurtures him to be a man whose relations with others are intact and favourable. The aggression in boy children needs to be made useful by training them to transfer the energy towards better things. The boy child must be loving, tolerant, peaceful and ,most importantly, skilful in conflict handling. They should never be violent. The testosterone must not drive him towards promiscuity and barbaric behaviour. Instead, he must learn to handle it well. Over time, he must become a master over himself, his emotions and his destiny.
The ultimate solution to training the boy child is to live the way you want him to live. Children learn much more through observing than instructions. Therefore, when parents, especially fathers, lead by example, they raise a morally balanced boy child.
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