The Sunday Mail
Apostle Charles L Kanyati Matrimonial Hub —
At some point, every individual desires to get married. While others are waiting for their time, others are opting out of the same.
It is really a sad development that the institution of marriage, which is supposed to be exciting and full of joy to others, has become so unpleasant that they don’t think of anything but to end it.
Even the Christian families are affected and the question is why this is happening at such magnitude? Unless we understand what type of a relationship marriage is, we will continue to experience this no matter who one gets married to.
That is why it is important for those planning to get married to focus on pre-marital counselling so that they enter into this institution prepared.
Unfortunately, some miss their counselling sessions as they only focus on planning for the wedding, which is a one-day event. Yet marriage is supposed to be a life-long commitment. They end up getting married with a lot of expectation but with little preparation.
Premarital counselling helps couples to set their priorities and discuss new family relationships. In this article we discuss what the Bible says about marriage.
First and foremost, couples need to realize that marriage is God’s idea. It did not originate from a law or a social trend or any other human invention.
To begin the human race, God made one man and one woman. He united them intending for them to live together for companionship and to replenish the earth. He placed this sanction on marriage, calling it a good relationship.
“He who finds a wife finds what is good, and receives favour from the Lord,” (Proverbs 18: 22).
The language of Genesis 1-3 illustrates how unique this relationship is. The Hebrew words “ish’ and “ishah” denote male and female.
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created He them” (Genesis 1:27).
Marriage is a relationship designed for ultimate intimacy. The expression “joined together” in Mathew 19: 6, indicates the idea of togetherness. It means cemented or glued together.
And this talks of a very strong bond which is supposed to be inseparable .But is this the case today? God intends the marriage relationship to last until death breaks the contract, and no earthly contract is more intimate or has more lasting effects.
Getting married means to forsake a mother and a father relationship. In Mathew 19:5, the Lord says “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife and the two will become one flesh”.
Jesus emphasized leaving and cleaving. Of course the Lord did not mean to disdain your parents and have nothing to do with them. He emphasized that loyalty to one’s married partner should have priority over one’s parents.
A marriage is in serious trouble if a partner tries to cleave to both parents and partner simultaneously. Getting married means to forsake all other intimate partners.
Sometimes a husband or wife turns to someone other than a spouse for intimacy and for sharing hurts, frustrations, dreams and other matters.
This may result in others, especially of the opposite sex, thinking that a door has been opened for them and gradually an affair begins to take place. When such relationships are known to your spouse they can cause harm to the marriage.
God intended man and woman to live together as companions. As a purposeful relationship, it means that in a marriage, the husband answers to the need of the wife and the wife answers to the need of the husband.
The needs of both include verbal exchange, emotional sharing and sexual experience. No other relationship on earth can meet all of these needs except the marriage relationship.
After God united man and woman He said, “Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth…” (Genesis 1:28). Having children is a solemn responsibility of most couples and rearing those children requires a team effort.
But many children grow up knowing only one parent and thus all the responsibilities of child rearing rests on this one, there missing the love and comfort of the other.
At the same time you will discover that marriage at its best has strains. Marriage at its best involves adjustments on the part of both partners.
Marriage experts identify adjustment areas as gender roles, decision-making, contrasting backgrounds, in-laws, value, social life, sex, money, and children. Some marriages are better than others, but no marriage is perfect.
Couples need to identify problem areas and learn by God’s help how to deal with these strains in relationships. Inevitably, one partner will hurt the feelings of the other.
To keep the relationship healthy, the offender needs to learn to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong please forgive me.” The offended needs to learn to say, “You are forgiven”.
Remember marriage involves a relationship of falling down and getting up, falling down and getting up. Of course some couples don’t fall as regularly as others.
Unfortunately when some couples fall, they fail to get up but go on to divorce. It does not matter where your relationship is, things can be better again. Enjoy your marriage.
Apostle Kanyati is the president and founder of Zoe Life Changing Ministries and Grace Unlimited interdenominational. Feedback: [email protected]
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