The Sunday Mail
Changing Perspectives
Rutendo Gwatidzo
WHAT is anger? Anger is only one letter away from danger. They say an angry man is a dangerous man. The extent to which this statement is true depends on you.
What is it that you do when angry? Not so long ago I found myself angry to the extent that I felt the inner man rising and I felt like I was on top of the world where I could just crash those who had caused me to be angry.
As I was boiling with anger I grabbed a book that was nearby and I came across a statement that read, “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret” by Ambrose Briece. I then remembered the teaching that my pastor teaches about often.
She says, “Do not react to situations, try to respond always”.
These words by Pastor Bonnie Deuschle have transformed my life and I believe that they are helpful to many as well. When you respond to situations, it means that you take time to pause and think before acting and that will prevent you from doing things that you might regret.
What to do when angry
I believe that we all know what anger is and that we have felt it before in one way or the other. Anger is normal as long as it is within control. It is always good to control anger before it controls you. Anger management is a term used to describe the skills you need to recognise that you are becoming angry. It is better to learn to catch anger before it reaches full rage.
Losing control can harm you emotionally or physically, your heart rate quickens and your blood pressure spikes. You may even feel like there are flames of fire in the middle of your chest and you want the flames to go out so that straight from your mouth, they burn those who caused you to be angry.
Pluto once said, the two things a person should never be angry about is what you can help and what you cannot help.
This simply means that if you can help it then solve it so that you do not get angry. If you cannot help it then leave it so that you do not become angry. In a nutshell, there is no reason to be angry especially to the extent of losing control because you can simply avoid it.
Getting practical
Let us get a little bit practical. What do you think will happen if you kick a stone in anger? This simply reveals that anger can actually hurt the bearer more than anyone else. Another example is that of a person who probably cheats on you and breaks your heart. Do you think that saying all sorts of bad words to that person will mend your broken heart? You can go ahead and say all sorts of words and still experience the heartbreak. Life is like this, that we come across things that challenge our emotions, our being, our mental capacity and even our everyday life in a way we least expect.
Think twice before you act, anger makes you smaller while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. You can survive with anger but do not live with it forever, it might limit you to become whom you are purposed to become. I know of many people who lost it as a result of anger. Some killed their loved ones, some said things that cannot be repeated, some hurt others and sadly it was different people from those who actually hurt them, some lost relationships and many more.
Avoid this
Do not make important decisions when angry. Let me remind you that you do not need anger management classes, all you need is to stop from being angry. It is good to confront your issues but in an amicable way that will not take your dignity from you and then it ends up painting you as the wrong person when you actually have been wronged. Allow me to share a story that I grew up hearing. One day, a frog was flying high together with eagles while he was holding on to a stick with his mouth. Life was beautiful for the poor frog. The villagers saw him and they started mocking him.
Frog got so angry and could not help keeping silent as such he decided to shout back in anger. He lost control and fell to the ground where he broke his body. Many of us have been found in the same bracket as the frog.
Life is meant to be enjoyed, do not waste time being angry and sad for the greater deal of your life. Either, help the situation or leave the situation and be happy. Life is too short to waste. Enjoy life whilst you can.
There is no need to cripple yourself over situations that come and go. Your life, once gone, will never come back. Do not lose life or the beauty of life over something that you can choose to tolerate or not.
The decision is yours, the choice is yours, choose wisely. Yes, you might have been hurt badly but, remember, your circumstances do not determine your future. It is your decisions and choices that you make from the circumstances you find yourself in, that will determine your future.
Food for thought
Be challenged to let go of anger. Be encouraged to forgive and be inspired to release yourself from the anger prison and to live a life with a difference.
Rutendo Gwatidzo is an Entrepreneur into corporate wear and interior designs. She is also an Author, Speaker, HR Consultant and Team builder. She’s very vocal and relentless in inspiring hope to the underprivileged to rise from setbacks and to continue moving forward. Her strategic strengths come from the ability to see things differently to make a difference. Contact detail – 0714575805/ [email protected] / Rutendo Gwatidzo official fb public page.
