The Sunday Mail
WE were in the middle of intense lobola negotiations when a wall in the lounge in which we were sitting suddenly collapsed, sending everyone scurrying for cover.
Women screamed as men switched into self-defence mode.
One could actually see people fading with distance as they made good their escape while screaming and shouting.
Those who subscribe to African Traditional Religion (ATR) knelt, reached for their snuff pouches and called for their forefathers’ intervention while clapping their hands.
“Moyondizvo, please guide us. Where did we go wrong? We are your children, please find other suitable ways of correcting us,” bellowed one elderly man with a furrowed brow who was part of the gathering.
All the while, he dutifully clapped his hands and roared like a lioness missing its cubs.
However, all this was uncalled for.
Actually, the house in which we were gathered for the ceremony had countless structural deformities.
Apart from having been built near a dam, counterfeit material had been used.
Also, the builder used as less cement as possible to save costs.
Furthermore, no housing inspector had been invited to assess the quality of workmanship from the time the foundation was laid right up to the point when it was roofed.
There was no approved plan for the rickety house, which had been built by someone who seemed to be relying on the little uncertified knowledge he had acquired as an assistant at a building site in the capital many moons ago.
It might sound as fiction, but countless structures that are being erected in informal settlements that have mushroomed across the length and breadth of the city are in fact death traps.
The quest to have a roof over their heads and avoid paying rent is driving people nuts.
As I commit pen to paper gentle reader, it is not unusual to find people building homes on areas that are inhabitable, all in the name of being called landlords.
“Being a tenant is the worst form of slavery that should be avoided. It is better to live in a decrepit structure of your own than to be made to part with hundreds of US dollars every month paying rent in a plush home that will never be yours.
“You should reject this business of working for other people and start being your own man,” one bloke told this writer straight in the eye during a beer drink one day.
He said men worth their salt lived in their own homes where they called the shots.
“If you live at your own house, you can decide what time you want to bath and the kind of food you want to eat.
“A lodger cannot cook beans without consulting the landlord because beans chew up a lot of electricity.
“He also cannot cook offals because they let out an offensive smell during cooking. However, if you are under your own roof, you do as you please,” quipped yet another guzzler who identified himself as Abel.
Sadly, these views that are shared by most people have often driven people into trouble.
Apart from having the structures they are erecting demolished by local authorities seeking to put up well-planned structures with access roads, sewerage and water supplies, the new breed of landlords is exposing its families to diseases.
It is not unusual in these unplanned new settlements to find some families drawing water from a well near another family’s septic tank.
Some of the new houses are also being built close to cemeteries.
The less expensive builders they use are also not qualified and can do anything to earn a quick buck, which they largely splash on booze and women of easy virtue.
“Money is very easy to make in the capital. I can build all sorts of structures depending on the pocket of the one who would have hired me. Tinotamba irikurira mudhara.
“If you want a cheap house, I can build it and if you want an expensive one, I am also equal to the task.
“I am like a supermarket with something for everyone. People need houses and we are there to suit their needs in exchange for money. Mari ndiyo yatinoda,” said one self-styled builder who identified himself as Zesa.
Gentle reader, owning a house in the capital is everyone’s dream, but let’s follow the law to avoid accidents.
Inotambika mughetto.
