The Sunday Mail
Sir 18area.coms —
LEWIS URIRI, you beauty! Good people of God lets raise our glasses and give it up for the suspended Caps United chairman.
That tongue he gave Phillip Chiyangwa this past week was the stuff of legends, the stuff that tempts one into singing one of Jah Pryzah’s most famous lines.
“Ngazvitenderere, ngazviyende mberi,” sings the lanky lad of the Watora Mababie, no Watora Mari fame.I loved how Uriri tore into Chiyangwa.
And the way Chiyangwa and Zifa backed down yesterday is confirmation that Uriri won this one. Obviously Chiyangwa cannot match Uriri’s language and gusto but I expected him to hit back.
He did not. As PC pressed the mute button one Lee Waguta was doing all he could to defend Captain Fiasco on social media. One might have been tempted to think that the man, who reportedly told the court that he match fixes for a living, was Bruce Chiyangwa.
But nay he is not Chiyangwa’s son but a boy who has mastered the art of bootlicking. Let’s wait and see how it pens out.
We also have to wait and see which teams, if any, will be relegated from the Premier Soccer League as that matter is yet to be resolved even though the 2016 season called for curtains yesterday.
Ours is a wild, wild world. With the 2016 season slowly fading into the horizon focus turns to the individual prizes, the Soccer Star of the Year and Coach of the Year gongs.
I will be straight up like my learned friend Uriri. My Soccer Star of the Year is Hardlife Zvirekwi with Lloyd Chitembwe getting my Gaffer of the Year nod.
Castle Lager don’t sponsor such awards such as flop of the season, clown of the year, miss of the year and worst dressed coach of the season. But you don’t need to sulk; yours truly is here and today is prize giving day.
It was an interesting season with DeMbare starting the year with Mr Bean’s Portuguese cousin – Paulo Jorge Silva – in charge. Makepekepe, desperate to be seen as a professional outfit, announced that they would be making public their starting XI 24 hours before every match day.
They said it was in line with international best practice but some of us told them they were being overzealous. That approach died quietly, peacefully.Moses “Bambo” Chunga took us for a ride, coming out dressed like an investor on Wall Street and vowing “you haven’t seen anything yet.”
But just when we expected Bambo to continue being on point with his wardrobe the Harare City coach went back to dressing like a tout, wearing sneakers without shoelaces.
Sadly for him Chunga misses out on the worst dressed coach award. John Nyikadzino takes it by a country mile. My flop of the year is Archford Gutu.
The midfielder, whose age is a mystery just like Tapuwa Kapini’s, pulled the middle finger on Dynamos and joined Makepekepe amid high expectations.
Uche struggled for form but was lethal elsewhere – with women, nightclubs and social media. Former DeMbare coach Silva was a fraud, a journeyman who came here with cooked up coaching papers.
He was a contender of the Mambara of the Year trophy but the people who fired Tonderai Ndiraya for the Portuguese pretender had to be rewarded for their lunatic decisions this term.
The Bosso fan who waved a placard that dripped of tribalism and the FC Platinum fans who deflated Harare City’s footballs come in for special mention.
What about Wicknel Chivayo you ask. Granted he promised the Warriors heaven on earth but delivered very little for such a big fellow but yours truly was taught never to kick a man when he is down or broke or both.
Sir exits the scene!
Sir is social media commentator and writes this column in his personal capacity. Feedback:[email protected]
