The Sunday Mail
Roselyne Sachiti
Assistant Editor
Tavonga Tazvigwira (42) is a broken mother of eight who has been stuck in a vicious cycle of pain.
In 2009, Tavonga and her father Chamunorwa Tazvigwira of Tazvigwira Village in Chief Mapanzure area, Masvingo, were arrested for incest following a relationship that resulted in five children.
Her father was sentenced to two years in prison, while Tavonga, who was pregnant with her sixth child (which ended in a stillbirth), was given a non-custodial sentence.
For years, she remained silent, bottling up the pain and trauma she suffered at the hands of her father.
In an exclusive interview with this publication last Monday, Tavonga, who now stays in Maglas, Zvishavane, opened up on her life and struggle to reunite with her family.
She said when she was 12-years-old, Tazvigwira abused her, breaking the sacred bond between father and child.
“The first time, my mother was at a hospital with my sick sibling, where they were admitted for days,” she recalled.
Back then, Tavonga stayed with her maternal grandmother in the Charumbira area, Masvingo.
“My father would say to my grandmother, ‘Give me my children.’ When mom went to the hospital, he asked my grandmother if I could come to Tazvigwira Village and cook for my siblings.”
The unsuspecting grandmother complied.
“That same night, Tazvigwira, armed with a huge knife, came into the room where my siblings and I were sleeping.
“He declared from that day that I was his wife and also accused me of dating my maternal cousin. Because of that, he would make me his wife. I never dated my cousin; we just walked together to school,” she explained.
She said her other siblings watched as her father defiled her.
“Some of my brothers, if honest, can attest to what happened. They saw it all.
“I got used to the abuse and ended up appearing as if I was agreeing to what he was doing. I don’t know if he was using juju on me,” she revealed.
Her father, she added, further accused her of dating her grandmother’s workers.
“He said, ‘What is my benefit if you date these people? It’s better if a chicken eats its own eggs. It doesn’t matter’.”
The abuse became a norm.
“I was afraid of telling my mother. I really wanted to, but I could not.”
As a result, Tavonga dropped out of school and failed to sit Grade Seven examinations.
Covering tracks
Each time Tavonga fell pregnant, Tazvigwira covered his tracks by giving her a set of instructions to follow.
This was to deceive his wife.
“He instructed me to write letters addressed to imaginary boyfriends with faraway addresses. Each time he told me to put the letters in a book,” she continued.
Tavonga complied with her father’s orders, then informed him upon completion of each task.
“He pretended to look for something where the books were and ‘found’ the letter. Each time he ‘found’ the letter, he immediately told my mother, ‘Your daughter is pregnant.’ This happened with each pregnancy,” she reminisced.
When the case was concluded in court, Tavonga returned to the village, where she stayed for a year.
The rumour mill went into overdrive with news of the unconscionable relationship between father and daughter.
She also became a social outcast.
“Life was hard. No one wanted to be associated with me. I moved aimlessly for some time, not knowing the fate of my kids.
“My maternal aunt, who is a prison guard, felt sorry for me. I was going through a lot. She took me in at her home in Mberengwa,” she added.
Tavonga’s relationship with her mother became strained. They barely contacted each other when she returned. I try to talk to her but she does not want to give me a chance to apologise. Today, I want to say ‘sorry, mother! It was not my choice. I plead for your forgiveness and a better relationship with you again’.”
Confronting Tazvigwira
Tavonga later met Tazvigwira when he was released, but the reunion was far from amicable.
“I had gone to my maternal grandmother’s funeral, when some people pleaded with me to go and see him. They said your dad is your dad; that will not change. When I saw him, I was hurt. I’m still hurt.”
She also recalled a war of words with Tazvigwira, when she requested he surrenders their female children to her in 2019.
“He said a lot of hurtful things. I reminded him that his behaviour shows he missed prison food,” she added.
Last year, Tavonga also made contact with her father, as she continued to try to take back her daughter, Accuracy.
“He hurled insults at me. I told him to keep quiet. He said I wanted to teach the kids prostitution. I told him he is the one who taught me prostitution. I asked him why he wanted to stay with a female child. Did he want to do the same thing he did to me?”
She gave Tazvigwira a week to surrender the child, she said.
In days that followed, Tazvigwira sent Tavonga text messages.
“He said, ‘You are demanding the kids because you are now independent.’ He told me to do what I want.”
He then phoned Tavonga, telling her where the child was.
Suicidal
Tavonga breaks down.
Life is hard.
She takes each day as it comes.
“I am living a terrible life. It’s painful. Sometimes I think of killing myself. Last year, I wanted to commit suicide. I wanted to take my children and throw myself in front of a fast-moving bus or car.”
Tough life, marriage
Tavonga is, however, now married and has three more children – two boys and a girl.
She said her husband is aware of her past, which he often uses against her.
“When I married, my mother visited us. We also spoke a lot on the phone and I bought groceries for her.
“But now my relationship with my mother is very sour. I always try but it’s difficult. I discontinued the relationship with my father and left the village, but she is still angry with me.”
She said whenever her mother visited, they would talk about the past to find inner peace.
“I could see she was starting to forgive me. However, I have noticed that my siblings influence her a lot.
“When my mother visited me in Mberengwa, some of my siblings phoned her, asking why she was getting along with me. They asked if she had forgotten our issues. My mother still listens to my siblings at a time I hope to get along with her and move on.”
According to Tavonga, their relatives have tried without success to reunite her with her mother. She said she is not sure if the children from the incestuous relationship know what really happened.
Her life journey has been thorny.
“My current marriage is terrible. I feel like I divorced two years ago. My husband sometimes uses my past against me and hurls insults standing outside.”
Problems in her marriage began when some of her sisters gave her husband bad information about her.
Her mother, too, would say some hurtful things.
“My sister once asked my husband why he married a woman with many children, leaving my other sister who is a virgin. Those days, he was still in love with me and ignored them.”
Her husband, she said, often tells her their two sons were sired by his dad.
“He calls our two sons ‘my little brothers’. He said I became intimate with his dad and had the two boys, since I had children with my own father. It hurts me so much,” explained Tavonga.
To eke out a living, she scavenges for metal buried in pits at Shabanie Mine, a stone’s throw away from her home.
“My eldest child (10) with my new husband has tuberculosis. She recently started undergoing treatment and I cannot afford to buy food for her.”
Tavonga is appealing to well-wishers to help with funds to start a small business.
She hopes starting a small business can help her escape the ‘toxic marriage’.
“I was born in a cycle of pain. What my father did left permanent scars. Will this ever end?” she questioned.
Mother
Tavonga’s mother, Shamiso Dengeya, refused to speak on the issue, saying she was unwell.
In a 14-minute telephone call on Monday night, she said she has developed heart problems caused by the pain and stress from the incestuous relationship between her former husband and daughter.
“I am suffering and do piece jobs to raise money for doctor’s appointments and medication.
“I go to Dr Maimba’s surgery in the Masvingo CBD and have to pay US$25 for each visit, money I do not have. I also need prescription medicines for US$23 each month. Rent is US$35 every month. How will the interview help me? Will you pay me if I agree to the interview?” she asked.
Her other children, she added, do not support what Tavonga and her former husband did.
“I don’t see her. I don’t have time to see her. I heard that she is suffering,” she said.
The heartbroken mother said she never got any psycho-social support after the incidents, and thinking of what happens worsens her health condition.
As each day passes, Tavonga hopes that she will be able to reunite with her mother and family so she can apologise in person.
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