The Sunday Mail
Mudzimba
Dr Chisamba
AM a married woman aged 40 and a mother of three beautiful daughters.
My husband and I have a family business.
I work with two other employees, who are computer literate, as this is a requirement for the jobs.
My husband is employed elsewhere.
He rarely comes to our offices but is very supportive of what we do.
My husband’s younger brother is pushing us to employ him since it is a family business.
He does not even have a single Ordinary Level pass and is not computer literate.
I turned down his request and he took it personally.
It is very unfortunate that his two other siblings have ganged up against us.
They use foul language and are telling my husband that he is henpecked, hence he cannot use his own discretion. We do not talk to them anymore since they started this drama and it is badly dividing the family.
My other worry is my husband’s parents pretend nothing is going on.
Please, Amai, help.
How best can we solve this issue?
Response
It is very sad when families fight over such trivial matters.
It does not need a rocket scientist to know that you need a relevant curriculum vitae to get employed unless you settle for menial jobs.
This type of job entitlement has destroyed many companies.
In some cases, people are employed because of whom they know and not what they know.
Verbal abuse directed at anyone is a criminal offence; they must be warned about this.
It is very disrespectful.
I suggest, since both parents are alive, you can call for a family meeting and explain why your brother-in-law cannot be employed, that is, for professional reasons. I would be happy to hear the outcome of the meeting.
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Girlfriends causing me headaches
Dear Amai, I hope I find you well.
I am a 24-year-old single guy and gainfully employed.
I have two girlfriends, both of whom are employed, but I am getting fed up because they are always fighting over me on social media.
For their profile pictures, they use my images, especially those that depict us spending quality time. We stay in the same neighbourhood and now they have a new habit of randomly coming to my place.
A fortnight ago, they bumped into each other and there was drama.
The landlord intervened and chased them away.
The sad thing is I was given notice to vacate and they were banned from coming to the house.
I do not understand what the fuss is about because they know each other.
I told them directly that my love for them is the same.
I will choose one out of the two when the time for marriage is ripe.
My problem, Amai, is these women are giving me unnecessary headaches.
What should I do to stop this nonsense?
Response
Dear writer, your letter made my reading very sad.
The unnecessary headaches are being caused by you.
You are playing with the emotions of two desperate women. Your love is not genuine.
To some extent, I think you enjoy watching these poor ladies fight for you on social media and at your home.
Please, do not continue to waste their time as each one of them desperately awaits to be picked by you.
They are human, too.
You make it appear these ladies are like cattle at an auction floor.
I wonder where their pride is? To be willingly treated like that is demeaning.
The only way to stop this nonsense is by letting them go. If you loved either one of them, you would not put them through this.
Stay off the dating circuit if you are not sure yet and start afresh when you are ready.
Do not continue doing such things.
It will cost you your accommodation, self-respect and peace of mind. I wish you all the best.
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Homework SOS
I am an uneducated Ambuya, who stays with two grandchildren who are in primary school.
My daughter passed away a few years ago and left these two children in my care.
I have asked a Good Samaritan to write this letter for me while I dictate the content.
My grandchildren always bring homework and I am expected to help them but I have no idea at all.
I feel bad because I think they are missing out since I do not help them or nurture their curious minds.
What do teachers do at school all day? Are they not paid to teach?
Response
Dear Ambuya, thank you so much for your letter and well done for looking after your grandchildren.
Teachers work hard at school and try to cover the entire syllabus.
However, homework helps children practise on their own, as well as show if they have mastered what they have been taught in class. It is a vital part of the learning process.
You need to meet the teachers so that you understand this process, and come up with a plan on how best your grandchildren can be assisted.
This may include study groups with their peers and an adult who can supervise and assist where you cannot.
Finally, apart from the keen interest you have shown in your grandchildren’s education, I want to commend you for looking after them. I wish you all the best. Please, keep me posted.
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