The Sunday Mail
Tendai Mbirimi – Bridal Writer
THERE is a reason why some people decide to elope instead of doing the honourable thing, wed!
The world over, stories of weddings gone wrong are plenty. Issues range from divorced parents clashing at the wedding, in-laws jarring over social or financial standing of each other, the famous “rich boy and poor girl” or vice-versa tales, or the showy uncle John who yells nastier things here and there, even interrupting the marriage officer.
Quizzed on what makes a wedding the best day, a friend of mine whose parents are divorced remarked, “Joined together in holy matrimony before your loved ones in one venue”.
But the question is how to accommodate your loved ones who are also rivals.
A wedding is a day that two people declare their endless love, their commitments to one another, in the presence and witness of their loved ones.
They get the blessing from the church and the public wishes them well. But enter divorced parents, a step parent versus an actual parent; this is a time bomb ready to explode at the slightest instigation.
This is the point when you think army generals are lucky because at least they do not get to soothe the selfish ego of a sideshow. How then does one avoid a cold war, drama queens or sideshows which can blight their wedding?
Define roles
One way of making sure you do not have Armageddon at your wedding is by defining the roles that different people play.
This is especially true in respect of a situation such as when the bride opts to be walked down the aisle by an actual or step parent where both parties are present. Giving both parties defined and agreed roles could help defuse tensions.
Be firm
When you anticipate trouble, it is better to have contingency plans. Engage both parties separately before the wedding day to iron out their differences. If this fails, disclose anticipated challenges to an influential person and task him to deal with the possible scenarios diligently.
Don’t invite them
Another choice is simply not inviting the potential trouble-makers and having security at the wedding.
This may not be everybody’s choice, but who wants their day to be a battlefield?
But first and foremost, the best solution is for the wedding couple to exercise the highest level of dexterity to all the would-be rivals. Closeness and showing respect to all parties may play the magic.
The in-laws who felt insulted, the mother who dreaded seeing her ex-husband with his much younger wife and the tete (aunt) who thought her effort was not recognised.
