The Sunday Mail
DEAR Amai, how are you? I am a married man and a father of one. I have four siblings, three brothers and one sister. We are all adults and married. My brothers and I decided to put our resources together and come up with a business plan and launch a small enterprise.
We agreed to share the profits after every six months. For the first six months, my younger brother only contributed once. Each time he would ask me to pay for him and record that he had paid because I was the family secretary.
After four payments, I asked him to pay back my money in full, but he gave many excuses. The reason why I am writing to you is when we shared profits I gave him what he put towards the business which was initially one payment and this did not go down well with him.
He is upset and sends me very rude messages saying that I took advantage of him. He knows very well that he was not consistent with his payments. This animosity is affecting me. How can we resolve this Amai?
Response
Hello and thanks for writing in. At times, it is a terrible idea to mix business and family. Your brother tricked you and in the end, he reaped what he sowed. You let him take advantage of you and manipulate you. It is time to bring it to a stop. I think you got your point across. If the rude messages persist, simply block him and continue with your business.
If he does not want to comply, buy him out and continue to do business with your co-operative siblings. Rope them in on what is happening and get their take on this. They most likely will be quick to support you. Once he is done kicking and screaming, I hope he will see the error of his ways. If he still wishes to continue as part of this business venture, I am sure it will be reflected by a character adjustment. I wish you well, continue to work hard and prosper as a family.
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Neighbours taking
too long to fix their car
Thank you so much for this platform. I am a married woman and a mother of two. I get on well with my husband. We have had the same neighbours for the past decade and they are quite a decent family. Our children are friends and they go to the same school.
At the beginning of this term, their only car broke down. I offered to help them out by taking their child to and from school while they fix it. I think I have had enough of this now.
I cannot carry on like this, at times, I feel like taking my child out for ice cream or for takeaway, but I cannot do that with the neighbour’s child in our company.
I do not know what their problem is, but I do not think they are making the repair of their car a priority. What is going on is convenient for them I suppose. My husband suggested that we just forget about their child and just take ours to school. Amai, what do you think about my hubby’s idea because I am almost persuaded?
Response
Hello and thanks for supporting the column. It is a difficult situation you find yourself in, but I think you did and are continuing to do the right thing. I have no qualms with you assisting in taking this poor child to school. I am sure you are making his commute easier. If you wish to spend some more time with your child privately, then simply do that.
You can ask your child to minimise the time they spend together with their friend though this can affect their friendship. Also, you can simply tell your child in advance when you intend to spend time after school as a family, minus the friend. Your neighbour must exercise better caution.
When you travel a lot with their child, they become your responsibility. If they are to sustain any injuries or for instance get food poisoning, the blame will fall on you. I think you must summon the courage to tell your neighbour this.
However, I foresee a major blow back. Your child may lose a friend and a travel companion on the trips to school. It takes courage to call a spade a spade. It will take even greater courage for this situation. But do it whilst you still can. I am baffled that they do not even contribute towards fuel, especially in these trying economic times. I wish you all the best.
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Boyfriend is possessive
I am a single woman aged 24. I am gainfully employed and have been dating a hot-headed guy for the past three years. I feel I have come to the end of the road. He does not want me to receive calls or messages from people he does not know. Every now and then, he goes through my phone and throws tantrums.
I do not live in a vacuum; I talk to other people, but he does not understand that at all. He is generally a very difficult man. When he is upset, he takes back things that he bought me.
Amai, I have tried to break up with him several times, but once I do that, I love him even more. My friend says he used juju on me, could it be true Amai? Please help me, I do not know what to do although I can clearly see his bad character.
Response
I feel as though your boyfriend is spiralling out of control. You are also aware of his shortcomings and you choose to do nothing. Whether he used juju or not and even if you believe he did is not the issue at hand.
You are not holding him accountable for his actions. You need to set the bar for how you wish to be treated. Trust is a fundamental pillar of any relationship. As such, work on getting him to ease off. Try roping in a relationship counsellor. I feel he may have greater insecurities that lead to him behaving the way he does. I wish you the best of luck.
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