The Sunday Mail
Tendai Mbirimi and Simon Marijani
We have known marriage as a union between two people, however, there is a new phenomenon arising: Sologamy.
Whether this is creativity or madness, time will tell. Sologamy is the marriage of someone to oneself. Though this lifestyle seems to have been in existence for quite a long time, it looks like it has amassed many admirers silently.
Picture this: “I, Nadine, promise to enjoy inhabiting my own life and to relish a lifelong love affair with my beautiful self, so help me God!” Many marital woes are centred on blaming one another when the marriage fails to work, but under this arrangement you will blame yourself for failing to make yourself happy or for failing to provide for your parents.
Linda Baker was the first person to marry herself back in December 1993. Others have since followed suit, including Sara Sharpe, who wrote about her self-same marriage in “A Dress, A Ring, Promises to Self”.
Nadine Schweigert, a 36-year-old American, also married herself in front of some 40 of her closest friends. Sologamy is not recognised anywhere in the world, nor is it a legally-binding union but it has already caught the attention of mostly women.
Another American woman, Ms Yasmin Eleby, also married herself at a lavish ceremony where she was escorted by 10 bridesmaids, family members, friends and other guests.
One commentator mordantly remarked that, “finally protective mothers will now spend peaceful nights, never worrying that their children are tied to someone they don’t approved of”.
The sologamy trend has, however, not escaped censure from the clergy who have already swiftly condemned it as narcissistic and evil.
Reverend Victor Chembela, senior pastor at Chisipite Baptist Church, said sologamy was another attack on the “real” institution of marriage as established by God.
“In Christianity, marriage is a lifelong, conjugal covenant between a man and a woman, a union of love that involves the giving of oneself to God and to others. However, today the institution of marriage, is being attacked from many angles and by many practices. Such practices include polygamy, incest, polyamorous relationships of various kinds, and now sologamy,” said Rev Chembela.
Resident vicar at St Mary Magdalene Anglican Church in Harare, Father Dzikamai Mundenda, added: “I am not surprised it is not legal anywhere in the world, never mind that it is contrary to the Biblical teaching on marriage.”
It remains to be seen whether sologamy will stand the test of time and find wider acceptance and recognition in societies across the world or that it is one of those attention seeking but passing gimmicks.
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