The Sunday Mail
Changing Perspectives
Rutendo Gwatidzo
GRATITUDE is one of the least expressed emotions in many relationships yet it is very impactful.
Translating gratitude into words is not always easy, hence people express it differently. Appreciation can be given in different forms. It can be affirmation, tangible gifts, acts of service, quality time or physical touch.
Whichever way one chooses to show appreciation, the bottom line is to make sure the receiving part is aware that you appreciate them. On the other hand, people receive appreciation differently. It is important for the one showing appreciation to find the most effective way.
Who should appreciate who?
I would like to give an illustration from the Bible. We have the story of Moses — who, in the book of Numbers — led the Israelites from Egypt through the wilderness for 40 years. Moses then died as they were about to enter Canaan and Joshua took over and led them into the Promised Land. Whom should we appreciate between Moses and Joshua?
We also have in the book of Esther the story of Mordecai and Esther.
Mordecai groomed Esther to become royalty and then she was picked by the King to be his wife.
On the other hand, Esther then saved the Jews from being killed when Haman had ordered the killing. I then wonder — Who exactly should the Jews appreciate between Mordecai and Esther?
We also find a similar scenario between David and the “mighty men”. David was a revered leader but he had these men who were well-regarded warriors. The question then comes again, who should be appreciated, David or the “mighty men”?
I believe all involved parties played prominent roles that cannot be removed from the equation.
As such, all involved deserve appreciation.
The same applies in today’s life. We ought to appreciate one another because we need each other in everything we do.
Visionaries need supporters, leaders need followers and managers need subordinates.
In the family setup, we have parents needing children or vice versa, while spouses also need each other. The list can go on and on. No one can operate as an island.
Organisational status
For some reason, the appreciation levels between management and subordinates are limited in most organisations.
Each part keeps on wanting more and more from the other, without posing to analyse certain basics.
Firstly, the fact that you are working together assumes common interest in something.
Secondly, there is need to understand that each part has a role to play.
Thirdly, there is need to appreciate one another.
I understand that differences come when one part fails to deliver what is expected. For instance, teams may fail to meet required performance targets but expect salaries every month-end. Sometimes, teams fail to perform due to lack of appreciation. Management should take time to appreciate efforts that teams put towards making the vison a success.
On the other hand, teams should appreciate management for giving them the platform to earn a living while developing themselves. Teams should allow results to speak, to the extent of provoking management to increase packages. The challenge in most organisations is that, with teams, words speak louder than action.
Personally, in the human resources (HR) industry, I came across many subordinates who are very good at talking. They put people to a standstill when they talk, yet they fail to deliver. Upon recruitment, others present themselves in a way that leaves management seeing all challenges gone, only to be disappointed when the same individual fails to deliver.
However, both management and teams should just learn to separate amicably if things fail to go according to plan. There is no need to burn bridges because life is a cycle. We meet to part and we part to meet again.
Lack of appreciation
affects relationships
Imagine, after putting all your effort, someone despises your sweat. Imagine being pregnant for nine months and going through the pain of labour but receiving no appreciation from your spouse.
Imagine a situation where a husband works day and night shifts to increase income, only to hear the spouse commenting that nothing is being done to improve the home.
These scenarios are part of everyday life for many.
Just a little appreciation can flavourise things and energise someone to do way more than ever imagined.
Appreciation is a positive force that pushes people to get out of the comfort zone in pursuit of doing more.
An appreciated person is most likely to keep on doing better than a despised person. A simple appreciation can shift the entire culture of a relationship.
Appreciation is the act of giving someone value.
Appreciation and love are two different things. I know there are others who put love in place of appreciation.
It is good to be loved but it is more adorable to be appreciated.
A combination of love and appreciation creates long-lasting relationships. February is known as the month of love. As we are about to enter a new month, take time to position yourself for long-term relationships at work, in the family or society by appreciating the people around you.
A plan on how to appreciate different circles is a good idea. All the best.
Rutendo Gwatidzo is the managing director at The HUB HR Consultancy — a culture and change management organisation. She is a multi-award-winning leader as a consultant, speaker and mentor. She is also an author of the books “Born to Fight” and “Breaking the Silence”. Contact detail – 0714575805/ [email protected]/ Rutendo Gwatidzo official FB public page.
