The Sunday Mail
I was in the middle of an enchanting mid-summer night’s dream when ear-piercing screams and the sound of an object being repeatedly hit against the wall cut short my sojourn in dreamland.
Without caring to cover myself properly since I somehow enjoy retiring to bed in my birthday suit, I forced my jelly feet to carry me as fast as they could in the direction where the sound was coming from.
Lo and behold, it was my co-tenant Jerry who was pummelling his wife Roseline.
Very few people woke up on this day to play the role of the United Nations to foster peace and ensure at least that everyone’s sleep was not disturbed since they had grown accustomed to the young couple’s cat fights.
On inquiring why this member of the fairer sex was being bashed at this witching hour, Jerry told me that his wife had served him sadza with plain vegetables. She had not cared to throw in at least a piece or two of salted meat.
“Imbwa yemunhu! Who do you think you are? What kind of a woman are you?” yelled the young man with a voice partially buried in a tide of emotion, before letting go of his red-faced wife, who now had rivulets of tears streaming down her chubby cheeks.
Such is the power of meat, which ghetto boys largely refer to as “nyama”, “mutsara”, “nyodzo”, “mitso” or “chekutsengera”, among a host of other names.
People have great love for meat, I tell you.
Pregnant women will quickly tell you: “Mazuvano ndine mukanwa. Nhumbu yangu inoda doro nenyama yakagochwa (My pregnancy craves for beer and roasted meat).”
Elders, be it at church, at funerals, at parties and other social gatherings, demand meat and have rituals and processes that revolve around its consumption.
The young — who society, however, makes it difficult to demand meat from anyone — sometimes have their own buying clubs or simply join forces to buy a piece or two for braai.
Some women, not keen to tuck into vegetables that are usually plentiful at the funerals they attend, will feign illness to ensure meat is provided for them.
“Ndiri pamapiritsi mwanangu. Manje aya anotoda nyama kuti zviite, kwete muriwo (I am on pills which require the consumption of meat),” they will tell you straight in the face.
Some women are well-known for helping themselves to meat at funerals by strapping it on their backs, kuita yekubereka semwana.
Brother has risen against brother while friends have turned to foes because of meat.
In some rural settings, sisters-in-law are no longer on talking terms because of nyama.
Countless poems have been written about meat and this writer is adding his voice, too, pointing to the power of meat in the communities in which we live.
According to Wordweb, meat is the flesh of animals (including fish, birds and snails) used as food.
Wikipedia defines meat as animal flesh that is eaten as food.
It continues, “humans have hunted and killed animals for meat since prehistoric times. The advent of civilisation allowed the domestication of animals such as chickens, sheep, rabbits, pigs and cattle. This eventually led to their use in meat production on an industrial scale with the aid of slaughterhouses.”
Meat is mainly composed of water, protein and fat.
Although it is edible raw, it is normally eaten after it has been cooked and seasoned or processed in a variety of ways.
Unprocessed meat will spoil or rot within hours or days as a result of infection with and decomposition by bacteria and fungi.
Meat is important in economy and culture, even though its mass production and consumption is believed to pose risks for human health and the environment.
Many religions have rules on which meat may or may not be eaten.
Vegetarians and vegans may abstain from eating meat because of ethical and nutritional concerns of doing so, including the environmental effects of meat production.
Costs aside, eating meat is a status symbol in the ghetto.
If you do not eat meat regularly, your chances of charming ladies are pitiably low.
It would also be difficult to convince members of the community that you are a man worth his salt.
As I commit pen to paper gentle reader, countless men have since time immemorial had women walk out on them for failing to regularly buy meat.
“Stanley haite. Unopedza gore pasina kana kutengwa nyama, zvino ungati uri kuitei muHarare (Stanley is so rough you can go for up to a year without eating meat and you shudder what city life is there to talk about with a man of his ilk),” you hear women saying while fetching water at boreholes in the ghetto.
It is this love for meat and ability to provide it that seems to keep society intact.
If you visit Glen Norah high-density suburb on weekends, it is not unusual to see men and women roasting meat at beerhalls like kwaFarai, kwaPajero and kuSpaceman.
Sadly, reports doing the rounds are disturbing, and should be taken seriously.
Some farmers and abattoirs are reportedly foisting onto the market meat from infected cattle and those that would have succumbed to January Disease (theilorisis), anthrax and lumpy skin.
While eating meat is pleasurable, be careful who and where you buy it from.
Inotambika mughetto.
