The Sunday Mail
Life Issues with FGK
OFTEN people indulge in acts without weighing the consequences thereof — there are always losses involved in any small house situation.
But people seldom calculate gain or loss from anything non-numeric, therefore, lives and days are being spent carelessly — relationships are found and lost just like that. It seems our species is inept when it comes to deciphering value of things that are presented minus the dollar sign.
The issue of small houses usually ends in divorce and is one experience which can create a hell on earth. There are many reasons for infidelity within marriages. Attempts to solve differences might have been made to no avail; or it would have been an attempt to make things right, but being driven by the wrong people.
Women stay most of the times when things get out of hand, but most men vent their weaknesses quickly through infidelity; and before you know it, its boom, a small house wearing their name is established. But for how long shall it survive? For how long shall it be enjoyable? Are they both benefiting from it or there is one experiencing loss in the process?
Home is supposed to be like a nest for birds. It has to be a place of comfort and safety; a place where all the daily destructions of the outside world cannot intrude. With all the comfortable furniture, the huge television and a brim-full refrigerator; a home is never an ideal one to any family in the absence of the father of that house. The mother might have to dodge the unanswerable question day in day out because the kids want to know where their father is spending the night. When husbands spend nights at small houses, their wives are not the only ones who take that pain but their children too. The safety that the father has to offer is no longer there. It is not only physical security that will be lacking but emotional and spiritual security as well. Note that children left with mothers face struggles from spiritual attacks, physical health attacks and a lack of emotional nurturing.
The parties within the small house itself seem to have it all figured out yet it is not. They seem to enjoy what they will be doing but that is only a mask; behind the mask are tears, a bleeding heart and a conflicting conscience. They are not sure if what they are doing is going to last. There are no vows to such a union. There is no trust in such a relationship since the parties involved have cemented their union with betrayal as an ingredient. She is not sure whether she is just being used for lurid pleasure or he will just leave and go back to his wife and never come back again when he feels like it.
The man is also not sure if he is being cheated by his mistress. He does not have peace when he turns his back from her house; his mind keeps telling him “there are some men who are just like you who come after you have gone”.
The question still remains a bother: who is really losing in the small house situation? Dignity affords one the state of being worthy of honour and respect, but when one has decorated themselves with ornaments of disgrace before their family and society they are labelled accordingly. One is called a hubby snatcher, a hooker, a side-chick, and all sorts of names because of the situation she will have decided to put herself in. The husband is labelled vagabond, irresponsible, womaniser, and many other names befitting his actions. How can one retain dignity under these circumstances? It is a loss that we rarely calculate. Therefore, we cannot tell the greatest loser as well in the same situation. Who is really loosing? The tranquillity of being with your legally and morally recognised partner is another thing, which can never be found among parties within a small house. Its anxiety after anxiety. No peace, no freedom and no trust. Often Health is compromised and mental stability is in jeopardy. In a small house, who trusts who?
If it is a girl of a younger age dating a sugar daddy, then the girl always feels the need to be with a younger man of her age since she knows the sugar daddy occasionally goes back to his family and wife of his age. There is no serenity, there is no stability in such affairs. Emotionally most people involved tend to break down. Depression sprouting from the stressful management of a hideous relationship will soon be taking its toll on the participants. There are losses within this union; but who is losing more than the other? Is it the lady who is a victim or it is the man who is at a greater loss since he is the financial provider and material spoiler?
The book of Proverbs 8 vs 17 and 18 says; “Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell.”
This portion talks about a simple or unwise man who is being ensnared by a harlot to come and stay with her. The harlot tells the man that stolen waters are sweet and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. This can be a fact and many can relate to, this illusion which decorates evil with attractive colours. This then influences people to gravitate towards the wrong things because they seem enjoyable, sweet and full of pleasure. The last part of the verse then tells us that the man who is about to be ensnared does not know that the lady who is about to host her has been hosting other men before him and all of them are now dead and her guests always experience hell. The scripture closely signifies this issue of small houses and the losses involved.
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