Zacc: Breeding a Rottweiler from a Chihuahua

31 Mar, 2019 - 00:03 0 Views
Zacc: Breeding a Rottweiler from  a Chihuahua

The Sunday Mail

For those who are religious like Bishop Lazarus, the figure of Abraham, who is considered to be the father of three faiths – Christianity, Judaism and Muslim – looms large.

Like a colossus, his spiritual reach and influence straddles over the lives of more than 3,9 billion souls (2,1 billion Christians, 1,8 billion Muslims and 15 million Jews).

To put this into perspective, dear reader, these believers, including Bishop Lazi, make up half of the world’s population, which is currently estimated at 7,7 billion.

Abraham, therefore, is undoubtedly a spiritual father, patriarch and ancestor for all humanity.

But, most importantly, it was his ability, as a mere mortal, to converse with God, the Creator, which made him a blessed and outstanding being.

Genesis 18, where Abraham engages in an animated conversation with God pleading for clemency for the doomed city of Sodom and Gomorrah, is particularly intriguing.

It is an extraordinary encounter: a man of flesh and blood driving a hard bargain against an omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent God.

You see, when the stench of the morally decaying city of Sodom and Gomorrah wafted off to the high heavens, God was so offended that he decided to erase it from the face of the Earth.

But this did not sit well with Abraham, who reckoned that God’s wreath had to be tempered with compassion.

Rather than indiscriminately destroying the city, he reasoned, there was need to spare it for the sake of the few righteous souls that lived in it.

“Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are 50 righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the 50 righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing — to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” pleaded Abraham in Genesis 18: 23-25.

Well, Abraham’s conversation with God was not like any ordinary dialogue, it was more like an intense price negotiation at a Chinese spaza shop.

Anyone who has been to China knows that a visit to spaza shops almost always means a drawn-out process to settle for a price of a selected item.

Depending on what is at stake, the negotiations can at times unpredictably become hot, heavy and heady.

And this is the kind of exertion that Abraham went through as he negotiated with God to spare Sodom.

Initially, he bargained that city should be saved from God’s fury if 50 righteous man could be found.

He successively negotiated for 45, then 30 people. The count subsequently fell to 20, before settling on 10.

Long story short: not even a single righteous being could be found in the city and it was destroyed.

 Kushaikwa kana benzi one zvaro. Not even one. Kikiki.

Only Lot and his two daughters survived by the grace of God.

Hallelujah!

The search begins

Well, Bishop Lazi thinks that as we scour the country for men and women who are supposed to fight corruption, we will face exactly the same challenge.

It will be easier to find a needle in the haystack than to find blameless kinsman that have the moral standing and repute to competently fight graft.

You see, corruption was at first frowned at, but it has been allowed to insidiously worm itself into the everyday life of Zimbabweans to such an extent that it is now tacitly tolerated as an acceptable lifestyle.

From callous and stoic villagers who heartlessly charge $10 per day to their grieving village-mates desperately seeking to rest after losing their homes to Cyclone Idai, to greedy hoteliers obscenely charging a pound of flesh to those who will be attending the Zimbabwe International Trade Fair (ZITF), we have all become an incorrigibly corrupt lot.

Corruption now reeks to the high heavens.

But all this will come to pass; in fact, sooner than you think.

The Bishop told you earlier this year that you must be a generation that reads the signs.

Haven’t you seen what is happening at the magistrates’ court? Or, better still, within the police force?

Aren’t you seeing what is happening at the Zimbabwe Anti-Corruption Commission (Zacc)?

Well, Zacc was actually the worst.

To use the clichéd term that it was a toothless bulldog is to grossly disrespect bulldogs — at least they look menacing.

Zacc was actually a toothless Chihuahua.

There was this one particularly corrupt commissioner that Bishop knew.

Yes, you guessed right, that curious chap that has this inexplicable knack of fastening his belt on his bulbous belly, way above his waistline.

How someone with such a chequered past could have landed such an immensely onerous job is anyone’s guess.

Rumour has it that one eloquent former Cabinet Minister had to part with wads of greenbacks that this commissioner demanded to sweep his mountain-sized mess under the carpet.

Unbeknown to the scheming duo, the ground was shifting beneath their feet.

But the network also extended to the magistrates’ court, where this equally corrupt gatekeeper would always be greased in order to let these greedy fat cats slither through.

Now that this soon-to-be-out-of-a-job gatekeeper has woes of his own, it is now double jeopardy for this former Cabinet Minister, who is now on the run.

By the way, he is not the only one — there were many more of his ilk in that rotten commission.

Now that ED has given us an opportunity to recruit new commissioners, we definitely hope that those charged with this responsibility will do their jobs diligently.

Anyone with so much as a whiff of a chequered past should not be allowed anywhere near the refreshed and reset commission.

We are thankful to those brave enough to raise the red flag on some of those gremlins who thought they could find a second lease of life to do what they know best — nothing.

You are sadly mistaken.

The current restructuring in the police, judiciary and statutory bodies is part of a pre-meditated process meant to replace weak institutions with strong ones capable of meeting the aspirations of ordinary Zimbabweans.

Of course, it will take some time, but once our ducks and Rottweilers are lined up in a row, you should have every reason to be very afraid.

Some, if not most, of us tichaenda kujeri takatemba.

But the most urgent task we presently face is to breed a Rottweiler out of a Chihuahua called Zacc.

Bishop out!

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